The heat wave broke some time during the night Friday.  Up until this time
the cats were either playing flat or bloated with all four legs sticking out
at angles and all fur puffed out in order to get some air between the hairs.
It was terrifying (ok, it wasn't but you had to be here to believe it) to
see what looked like the dead and dying all over the house.

On Friday, Merlin was lying in the center of my ceramic tiled kitchen table
looking for all the world like a huge gray pancake with a head sticking out
at one edge.  He covered up an area roughly two feet wide.  Qui Gun Kit had
curled himself in an arc on the edge of the table closest to the air vent
that is supposed to heat/cool the breakfast nook.  I told him that he looked
like a slice of bacon being cooked along with a pancake.  He just gave me
his "look Babe, I'm only here for the eats" expression and closed his eyes
again.  Tanada was in her current hiding spot in the cupboard above the main
refrigerator.  For whatever reason, she seems to head up there when the heat
gets too much to her.  Today she has been seen trotting between the main
bathroom where she gets her gooshy food and Mike's bedroom, which is nice
and dark and has great stinky socks to roll in.  She's happy.

QC had taken over the bathtub in the main bathroom.  It had been used
earlier so it was still slightly damp and helped chill her poor, hot,
exhausted, and long suffering body.  Every so often Pine Cone would look in
on her and see if she was still in the same place.  Of course she hadn't
moved so much as a hair, so he'd sigh and try again to get into Amanda's
room.  Since she had the door closed he contented himself to killing time by
opening the folding doors to the laundry area and sacking out on the cool
metal of the wash machine.

Our room was occupied by Sonya and Huey.  I had the fan blowing on the
computer area, which meant that our bed got the almost air flow from the
side of the fan.  Sonya lay on the bed, on her back with her paws blissfully
sprawled out so that she could get the best of the slight movement of air
between individual hairs on her poor hot little tummy.  She looked so
blissful and sweet and was in one of the deepest sleeps I'd ever seen a cat
indulge in.

So now, finally, we are down to Huey.  Huey was doing his best bloated furry
pig impression on the high boy that I store all my stuff that doesn't belong
in the closet.  It is a five foot tall fake antique dresser with enough room
on top for even Huey to sprawl on.  Huey is the only one of the cats that is
truly feeling his weight.  Merlin isn't really fluffy as much as he has an
udder that drags the ground and sprawls better than he does.  Huey is
fluffy.  I look up at pig cat and he is laying half on his side and half on
his back with his front paws lying down the sides of his body and his left
rear leg in the air.  I'm telling Rob how I once saw a dead bloated pig in
that exact same position when Huey snorts and rolls. Backwards, Behind the
highboy.  With a high pitched pig squeal.  Disappeared completely from
public view.

Rob says, "well, I guess he wasn't dead after all," and goes back to work on
his computer.

Mandy comes in and says, "do you know that Huey is stuck behind the highboy,
and can't get out?"

Rob looks confused.  "What do you mean he can't get out?"  I am laughing
hard enough that I need to visit the bathroom.

By the time I get out of the bathroom, Mandy is trying to coax Huey out from
behind the highboy.  She has assured us that he is not hurt, has been able
to some how twist himself back into an upright position, but cannot figure
out how to get from behind the highboy.  Since Sonya dashes behind the
highboy as part of her chase game with Huey, who cannot get behind it to
catch her, I am not surprised.  Rob however, is surprised.  He walks over
looks behind the highboy and sees that Huey is fine, though embarrassed, and
is trying to get out, lick himself, and call for assistance at the same
time.  This results in "thump, thump, arp" noises and I find myself sitting
on the bed because my legs won't hold me up for some reason.

Rob gives me a disgusted look and pulls the top of the highboy forward.
This sends the back bottom up in a sort of thin wedge and lifts Huey up an
inch or two, and opens enough of a gap that he is able to move.  He
scrambles out onto the book case that I use for reference and school texts.
He shakes himself and looks over at me, and sees Sonya instead.  Now if
Sonya were laughing at him, Huey would soothe his bruised ego by rushing at
her, and proving to her that he is the roughest, toughest, and meanest fat
wrestler since Hulk Hogan.  Sonya looks sympathetic instead.  This means
that Huey cannot use his preferred method of covering up his embarrassment.
He has to come up with a new move.

So he sits in the center of the bedroom, with an injured look on his face
for almost a minute, then bends over licks a stray hair back into place,
then waddles to the food trough and stokes down some ego assistance.  While
Huey is feeding his ego, Pine Cone comes into the bedroom, attracted by all
the laughter and commotion.  He walks over to Huey and stands there looking
at him.  You can almost see what is running through PC's head.  He slowly
reaches out a paw and prods Huey in the side.  Huey snarls at PC, then
launches at him.  By this time, Pine Cone has not only left the room, but is
halfway down the hall.  Huey follows as fast as he can, and finds...Speedy,
the d-thing waiting for him.  I think that PC and Speedy between them have
worked off at least an ounce of pesky cat food that Huey didn't really need
after all.

Pam S.