I have a couple of  Labrador retriever (3) & I was buying a large bag
of Purina at  Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.  A woman behind me
asked if I had a  dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting
The Purina Diet again,  although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with  tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it  works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no, I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the
tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door.