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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / August 2006Bitty rap group (crude warning)
I've never posted Kumani and Tyche's favourite spiel here, but Tak's kitty-song thread makes me want to. I'm going to star out the profanity, but be warned, there's some crude content in here. Kumani: Mom, MomDad, we're releasing a record album. Me: Are you now. And what's your group called? Tyche: DRK! Kumani: Y'know how "N***as With Attitude" are NRA? It's like that. Dylan: So what's DRK stand for? Tyche: Don't Rape Kittens! Dylan: *disgusted* Who does THAT? Kumani: The VET! Tyche: We HATE the vet! Dylan: Tyche, you hate everyone. Me: Okay, that's a Kitty LIE, the Vet did not... Kumani: He did too, when I was sick, he put a thermometer right up my pooper! Dylan: That's not rape, that's called taking your temperature. Kumani: I didn't agree to it! Tyche: Plus you guys put thermometers in your MOUTHS, this went right up her pooper! Kumani: He's a sick, sick man. Tyche: Our first single is called F*** Tha Vet! Me: Now you're just ripping off "F*** Tha Police." Tyche: We can do what we want, because we're KITTENS! Kumani: Little darlings! Tyche: Innocent and cute! Dylan: I don't care, your single's just been banned. Kumani: HOORAY FREE PUBLICITY! Tyche: We're gonna be an activist group like Rage Against The Machine. Kumani: This is our SECOND single! *harmonizing Bitties* We Hate Strangers Holy F*** If You Are One You're Out Of Luck We Will Bite You Till You Cry We'll Kick Your A** And Scratch Your Eye Get the H*** Outta Our Face And Take Your Sorry A** Outta This Place! Dylan: Kumani, since when do YOU hate strangers? Tyche is the xenophobe here... Kumani: Since I met that pervert vet. Dylan: Look I consented for you, okay? Tyche: OMG ABUSE! Call Animal Welfare and Child Services! Me: Kitties aren't allowed on the phone any more. Not since I caught Smokey dialing those 1-900 numbers. Dylan: They're also not allowed on the Internet since we caught Nox running that anti-human-rights chat forum. Tyche, Kumani narrow eyes, threaten to write a song about us... --Fil > I've never posted Kumani and Tyche's favourite spiel here, but Tak's > kitty-song thread makes me want to. I'm going to star out the > profanity, but be warned, there's some crude content in here. Cute!! That vet *is* a pervert, performing nonconsensual acts on innocent bitties! Joyce PS - Smokey dials 1-900 numbers? You think you know someone... > Cute!! That vet *is* a pervert, performing nonconsensual acts on > innocent bitties! > > Joyce > > PS - Smokey dials 1-900 numbers? You think you know someone... Smokey thinks he's da pimp. There are lady cats outside, but Smokey is afraid of big, bad, outside. We won't let him bring lady cats home, we won't go to the animal shelter and "adopt a wh*re" for him, and Nox will let him be her kennel boyfriend, but when she's home, she likes to pretend she can't stand him. Sometimes the bits will let him lick them, but most of the time, if he wants to prove how pimpin' he is, his only friend is the phone :) --Fil > Smokey thinks he's da pimp. There are lady cats outside, but Smokey is > afraid of big, bad, outside. We won't let him bring lady cats home, we [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > them, but most of the time, if he wants to prove how pimpin' he is, his > only friend is the phone :) Poor guy! Life is tough. :) Joyce > Kumani: Since I met that pervert vet. > Dylan: Look I consented for you, okay? > Tyche: OMG ABUSE! Call Animal Welfare and Child Services! LOL!!  SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki >> Kumani: Since I met that pervert vet. >> Dylan: Look I consented for you, okay? >> Tyche: OMG ABUSE! Call Animal Welfare and Child Services! > > LOL!! Child Services here.. Kumani, you would be out of luck if you expected us to step in here. Your Momdad can consent to necessary medical treatment for you - even if you disagree - until you are 17 years old. Call us again if you are ill and your Mom & Momdad refuse to get you medical attention. Then we can help. We will go to court, get parental responsibility on the grounds of neglect and get you put right. LOL! Love it, Fil. Tweed (note for humans: this is sometimes necessary when a child of Jehovah's Witnesses needs a blood transfusion. It is taboo for them to agree to receive blood products, so we take parental responsibility, get the child treated then reverse the parental responsibility when the child is well. That way the child is treated appropriately and the parents have not had to go against their religion.) >>> Kumani: Since I met that pervert vet. >>> Dylan: Look I consented for you, okay? >>> Tyche: OMG ABUSE! Call Animal Welfare and Child Services! >> >> LOL!! > Child Services here.. > Kumani, you would be out of luck if you expected us to step in here. Your [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > attention. Then we can help. We will go to court, get parental > responsibility on the grounds of neglect and get you put right. > LOL! Love it, Fil. Mandy would just like to point out that there is no such thing as necessary veterinary treatment, so she will not need this service and doesn't expect Kumani or Tyche will need it either. She made this opinion quite clear some years ago when she went on a hunger strike until she was 'rescued' from TED. The fact that she had been rushed to TED as an emergency case after a car refused to get out of her way, and that her human figures TED saved her life just shows how ignorant humans are about TEDs and, for that matter, about the rules of the road (cats always have the right of way). SignatureCheryl > I've never posted Kumani and Tyche's favourite spiel here, but Tak's > kitty-song thread makes me want to. I'm going to star out the > profanity, but be warned, there's some crude content in here. Another ruined keyboard! Never mind the crude warning- this should come with a "this is utterly hilarious- do not be drinking anything when you read it" warning Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
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