Lots and lots of purrs and hugs.

{{{{{{{{{{ADRIAN}}}}}}}}}}}}

Helen M

Adrian, I'm so glad that you've got Snoopy with you, and sorry that you're
going through this. Been there, can understand the feeling. Do you have
anyone you can talk to?

And though I know a lot of folks are sensitive about the subject, are you
currently taking antidepressants? If not, I strongly urge you to visit a
doctor and talk about whether they might help you. During Christmas week
last year I hit an all-time low - I felt so completely drained, depressed,
and down that I really didn't care whether I lived to see another day. I
was able to talk to Nancy about it, and could pet all the kitties, and
that helped in the short term. But what helped the most was visiting my
doctor and getting a prescription for Prozac. It isn't a wonder drug, it
isn't a fix-all, but it can make a world of difference - in my case, it
makes the valleys a LOT less deep.

Sending you all the purrs we can muster.

Dan

Purrs and prayers from us that you feel better soon.

Lily & her mama

Adrian  Me and you are  friend over the internet you have many of us out
here.  We are all giving you the much need support, hug sand prayers for
you.  You have lifted me up when I needed it along with many others out
here.  I am returning the favor  that fleeting touch you just felt after
reading this  it was me and everyone else putting their hand on your
shoulder and wrapping their arms around telling you it will be ok.
   I have had so many days like yours  what gets me thru and keeps me going
are the four legs. I look at them and say they need me I need them  I am not
going anywhere.  Now you know my secret of why I love my furballs so much
and with knowing that secret  we are much more than friends now.  Remember
we are out here

{{{{{{{Adrian}}}}}}}

Oh dear, Adrian!! Please, please know we are here (I know, that
probably isn't a huge help right now) for you. Please consider seeing
someone about this. (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

{{{Hugs}}} Adrian - I know how you feel. I was at that point last
week, and what kept me here is the thought that my cats would die if I
did. :(  I had constant cat companionship on those days - I think they
set up a schedule between themselves to keep me company.  I laid down
for a while, and pretty soon I had 8 cats with me - practically every
spot that they could touch had a cat laying against it. Amanda was on
the pillow at top of my head, Sasquatch was laying against my face and
neck, Keiri against my back, Bear on my stomach, Boyce behind me.
Cougar laid against the front of my legs, and Marble at the back, with
Jacob covering my feet. (I was laying on my right side.) They were all
purring, at volume. It definitely helped.  Kitty cuddles are the best!

Patti

I've been pretty low lately myself. Complicating matters is the fact that I
have no one to talk to. Been a hermit too long, and seeing no way out of
having too much chronic pain and too little money, the outlook is very
bleak, especially when one is clinically depressed to begin with.

Someone mentioned this website which has help on it. It has a test for
depression. My result was "severely depressed - seek medical help".

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/books.aspx?id=186

There is good info on that site. Check it out.

{{{{{{{{{{Adrian}}}}}}}}}}

I've been there too - hang in there, your kitties need you (and that has
been the only thing keeping me here at times too)!

(((((Adrian)))))

Thank heaven for Snoopy's purring!

(((((((((Adrian)))))))))

Purrs and hugs to all who have felt this despair, and especially those who
are still feeling it.

Joy

{{{{{{{Adrian}}}}}}  Don't go that route.  The cats aren't the only ones who
will be left behind.

Jill

Is there anything we can do to help? It's hard being so far away, but
even a phone call might be useful?
*Purrs*

We are sending you mega-mega-no-questions-asked-purrs.

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

Make Levees, Not War

Please don't do anything silly, for the sake of your family who love you and
your cats who need you.  You can private mail me if it would help, or even
telephone.
I know how you feel, I've been there.  It will pass so just hang in there.

(hugs)
Tweed

Adrian!!?? This post is not at all like you. Please know we all care
very much. Is there anything I can do?

Sherry

Hang in there. Night sleep, and some daylight tomorrow and it should
look better.

.....I would have ended it all tonight. I'm at my lowest point for
years and
I really don't know why. I've got tears running down my face, it's
only
Snoopy purring that's keeping me going.

You and I are riding that same slow boat, and I know how it feels to have to
bail like hell to keep your butt afloat. I'm glad you didn't end it. Thank
Snoopy from all of us who care about you. Please keep going. Purrs and a prayer
are going up at this very moment. We're fortunate to have Brandy here, who does
a great job as Morale Officer, and she's got a loud motor.

Blessed be,
Baha

However bad things seem, sometimes, don't EVER let them get
you to that point!  Think of all the wonderful things that
might yet happen in your life.  Would you really want to
miss those, just because you're super depressed now?  Purrs
and prayers that you'll soon be feeling more cheerful.

{{{{{{{{{{ Adrian }}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Adrian}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Furballs sent their purrs as well

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Sweetie, please don't end it.  We haven't met yet, and yet I feel as
though you are one of my adopted sons.  You seem depressed and now is
the time to seek help.  Have you ever been checked for diabetes?  When
my blood sugars get crazy is when I get those end it thoughts.  Have you
seen a doctor lately?  Please do so, and if nothing medical is found,
please see a counselor.

We care about you very much.

Pam S. who wants to meet Adrian, all the Helens and so forth.

I dug up this editorial I wrote quite some time ago - re-reading my own
advice has actually helped me (who hasn't been too good at taking my
own advice lately) deal with what I have to deal with right now.

===============================================================

Facts from the [US] National Center for Injury Prevention and Control:

- Suicide took the lives of 29,350 Americans in 2000.
- More people die from suicide than from homicide. In 2000, there were
1.7 times as many suicides as homicides.
- Overall, suicide is the 11th leading cause of death for all
Americans, and is the third leading cause of death for young people
aged 15-24.
- Males are more than four times more likely to die from suicide than
are females. However, females are more likely to attempt suicide than
are males.
- 1999, white males accounted for 72% of all suicides. Together, white
males and white females accounted for over 90% of all suicides.
However, during the period from 1979-1992, suicide rates for Native
Americans (a category that includes American Indians and Alaska
Natives) were about 1.5 times the national rates. There was a
disproportionate number of suicides among young male Native Americans
during this period, as males 15-24 accounted for 64% of all suicides by
Native Americans.
- Suicide rates are generally higher than the national average in the
western states and lower in the eastern and midwestern states (in the
US, which is all I have figures for).
- 57% of suicides in 2000 were committed with a firearm.

Depression is not always just a "mood", it can be a physical disease
and could cost you your life. Thankfully, I don't suffer from "clinical
depression" and don't have a brain chemical imbalance (although there
are those of you who would probably swear there is some imbalance going
on in there ;> ). However, like almost everyone one else alive, I have
had to deal with depression at times in my life. Twenty-five years ago
I was married to an abusive alcoholic and, feeling like there was not
other way out, I attempted suicide. I'd like to share with you some
thoughts about depression. Please note that I am not a physician or a
psychiatrist, this is just personal advice from life's lessons learned.

When you find yourself experiencing depression...

First, learn how to evaluate and prioritize.

Even if you are in what you think is a hopeless situation - even if you
see no way out of the deep, dark depression that overwhelms you - even
though nobody is there to lend you a hand or a spare dime - THINGS WILL
GET BETTER! "This, too, shall pass." Nothing lasts forever, though some
things seem to. Do you have absolutely no money to pay bills? Let them
cut off the phone, let them take back the TV - man survived long before
we had those things, they are not essential to survival. Are you being
abused by someone? GET OUT NOW! There are places to go, and even if
there weren't, being a street person is better than being a punching
bag. Are you being evicted from your home? Find a cheaper place to live
immediately - there is low-cost housing out there, and roaches and rats
won't eat more of your food than you do. Man survived living in caves
with saber-toothed tigers roaming the land - you can face a rodent or
two. Do you have no money for food? I can tell you from experience that
the body can survive on almost nothing. And that is the main point -
YOU CAN SURVIVE IT. Eventually things will get better. And if you work
hard at it they can get much better. You just have to grit your teeth
and stop thinking in near-future terms only. If you take the easy way
out, if you give up all hope and kill yourself, then there is no chance
for things to get better. As long as you're alive there is some hope
that your life will improve. And take it from someone who was in the
deepest pits of hell  - it does get better. I would never have
believed, when I was suicidal, what wonderful things I would have
missed (a grandbaby's smile!) had I been successful in killing
myself.

Second, really think about the consequences.

If you still think that not even a miracle could improve your lot, then
I'd like you to think about this before you pick up that bottle of
pills. What will you be leaving behind? Statistics show that many
families of a suicide soon have another member do the same. The
surviving family members are angry, not sympathetic, towards the
suicide. And with the suicide no longer around, that anger gets
directed inwards and becomes depression. A single suicide in a family
can start a chain reaction. Children of suicides bear a burden of guilt
like no other. Think about how lousy a person you would feel like if
even your own mother or father had to kill her/himself to get away from
you! Think about how low a child must feel to realize that the one
person who is supposed to be their most trusted, loving support, does
not love them enough to stick around and take care of them. And outside
of the havoc you'll wreak on your own family, what will others think
about you? Will they feel sorry for all the slights they made you while
you were alive? Will they feel pity at all the torment you suffered
that only death could ease? Will they say, "Oh if only I could have
done something to help - been nicer to him/her...."? NO, THEY WILL NOT.
They will tsk-tsk and remark about how unstable you always were. They
will sneer in contempt at the cowardice of taking the easy way out.
They will brag about how, unlike you, they've always been able to
cope with their troubles. They will tell crude jokes about death and
suicide to ease the vague fear they feel about it. BUT THEY WILL FORGET
YOU EVER EXISTED IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS TIME!

Learn positive "self talk".

Do you still feel like swallowing those pills or picking up that
razorblade? Well, think about just one more thing. Nobody can do
anything TO you. They may be directing words or actions AT you, but
they can't really touch the "you" inside. You are free to react in any
way you choose. You can (and probably do, from habit) choose to feel
depressed, sad, victimized, hurt, betrayed, ignored, or whatever else
it is you are feeling when someone says or does something mean to you.
But understand: YOU ARE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! Only you have the power
over what you are feeling at any given time. No one else can "impose" a
feeling on you from the outside. For example, say someone says to you,
"You are a lazy, worthless @$$hole". You think that they are making you
feel bad or angry by saying this. But they aren't - they can't possibly
control what you feel, only you can do that. They can only try to make
you feel bad. You could just as well choose to be amused by what is
said, laugh, and think to yourself, 'What a stupid person he is to
have such a WRONG opinion of me.' I know that it is very hard to take
control of your emotions and DECIDE what you're going to feel. All
our lives we are taught that people have power over our emotions - but
that's wrong! Don't say, "He made me mad." The truth is that you
decided to react with anger to what he said or did. Remember that
control is power. If you just keep trying, if you keep using positive
"self talk", it will become a habit, and you will be able to react in
any way you choose in any given situation. This self-possession
commands a great deal of respect from others. Once you learn how to
control your emotions, the change in your life will be amazing.
Because, then, YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY - NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS
AT YOU! This isn't just a platitude; it's a hard won lesson in reality.
I always sum it up as, "When bad things happen in life, you can either
laugh about it, or you can cry about it. Neither reaction will change
what has happened, but it is so much more fun to laugh than it is to
cry - and your nose won't get red!" And remember that LAUGHTER IS
POWER. Laughter can banish fear, laughter can conquer bullies, and
laughter can give you the strength to face things you never thought you
could face.

Don't sit around and dwell on your problems - do something.

There are a few small things you can do for immediate help when you are
feeling overwhelmed with depression, helplessness, and fear. First of
all DO something. Rearrange the furniture, clean out a closet, and if
you don't like housework, just pack up the kids and take a walk. This
accomplishes two things. First of all, the physical exertion will help
wash out of your bloodstream the hormones and chemicals that are
associated with depression. Secondly, just the act of doing something,
anything, helps get rid of that feeling of helplessness. You are taking
charge of something, no matter how small, and this leads to confidence
that you can take charge of the larger things. Then, find a friend to
talk to. Even if there is nothing they can do to help you out of your
situation, it will at least keep you in contact with a "saner"
perspective on things (providing you pick a sane friend, that is ;> ).
Next, find the courage to take your problems to a professional. Look in
the phonebook for agencies that can help you find what you need in the
way of physical, psychological, financial, or legal assistance.

Help someone else who needs it.

Please, take a moment to think about the things I've written - before
you make any "final" decisions about your life. If I have helped you to
get through a crisis, then please repay the favor by passing on this
lesson to others who need to learn it. Remember, too, the old saying,
"The man with no shoes felt pity for himself until he met the man with
no feet". The best therapy of all is to trivialize your troubles by
helping those with even bigger troubles.

Personally I don't need anti-depressants (my depression seems to be
situational, not physical), but if you need them, don't hesitate to
take them (I won't go into which ones may be best or worst ;>).
Refusing to take anti-depressants when you need them is like a diabetic
refusing to take insulin.

I wish love, and hope, and happiness to all of you who are struggling
with this killer disease!

Hugs,

CatNipped

Adrian:  I'm glad you're feeling better today - I've been worried about you.
Big hugs to you.

Getting outside is good thing and I'm glad you had a good walk today.
Another good strategy is to write down five good things that happen every
day.  It sounds inane perhaps; however, when you're depressed its hard to
see the way out and hard to imagine that anything will ever get better again
EVER.  It *always* does but writing these things down is almost like
re-programming your mind.

We're thinking about you here and Otis and Chester are revving up their
purrs.

Take very good care of yourself,

{{{{Adrian}}}}

Susan M
Otis and Chester

Oh, {{{{{{{Adrian}}}}}}}}}}

Hang in there.  I've felt those feelings many times in my life.
Besides the cats, the one thing that keeps me going is remembering
that everything changes, so what seems insurmountable right now won't
be tomorrow or next week.

Be kind to yourself, and let those purrs tell you how much you are
needed.

Sending good thoughts to you,

Ginger-lyn

Home Pages:
 http://www.moonsummer.com
 http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats)
 http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy)
 http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against
                        Animals in Movies Website)

Adrian, I'm right there with you. The cats are holding me together,
as they have been. Purrs that you are feeling much better today.