Those of us who have experienced this are familiar with how terrifying
this is. However, from the description it sounds like you certainly did
not let Antonio down. It was his choice to make the door dash.

I'd recommend that you check out the various web pages that cover the
ways a kitty's behavior changes when he gets outside. And if you get a
clue as to where he might be hiding out, I'd recommend placing traps as
soon as you can.

I remember a few years back when DD got out of the house and was missing
for most of a day. Nancy stayed at home to keep an eye out for her. I
went to work, but it was a waste - I spent all day thinking about the
missing kitty.

Please, PLEASE do not blame yourself! You will only torture yourself needlessly.
Your worry proves that you are human and humane, but kicking yourself will only
get you a sore caboose. Continue to search, check your local shelters for cats
of Antonio's description, and have a word with whomever is your Higher Power.

How we deal with losing a pet is unique to the person, but the best way is to
talk about it with those who understand that this is not some lower life form
you're concerned over. It is a living being who is capable of thought and
feeling, albeit different from the way we twolegs do it. For instance, had I
known about this group when our Fritzie crossed over last year, I would not have
ended up in the middle of the mall with a bag full of makeup that I didn't know
how it got in my hands... but that's the subject of another talk show entirely.

Please remember that a cat is by nature a curious little person, and curious
little people often wander. That is NOT a symptom of you letting them down. It's
Mama Nature's way of helping them follow the hunt and provide for themselves,
and the kittens if they're mama-cats. Antonio is being a cat, and he lost his
way. I know how dear he must have become to you, and I am as sad about this as
you must be; my first kitty, Ginger, ran off in natural curiosity just days
before he was neutered, and not a trace of him was to be found in our very small
town. because of this, I feel your anguish over this, and spent a long time
kicking myself too.

Groups like us will be here and we'll rejoice with you when he comes back, and
grieve with you if he does not. Everyone who reads your message will be sending
their purrs and prayers from all over the world! And above all, if you do have a
Higher Power, rely and trust in Him or Her that when Antonio returns it is by
the Divine Grace, and if not then God/dess will care for him and heal your
heart. And we will all be here to help.

Blessed be,
Baha

You didn't Kelly, never think that. I've been there (except that it
really was my fault when Frank went awol) and I can't give you any
advice on how to cope. I don't know how I came through it, especially
since everyone kept telling me to give up. I really hope you find
Antonio soonest, and we are sending lots of purrs and hugs. I know
exactly what you are going through.

Kelly, you're doing a lot to try and find Antonio -- I'd go on that next
street and call, too and ask people if you could go in their backyards and
call.  Take the flyers.  You're doing a lot more than a lot of people know
to do.  Hugs for you and purrs.
Christine

Kelly,

I know its hard and its so d#rn frustrating too!  Wouldn't you love a little
GPS chip in his furry butt so you could march right over and bring him
home????

You're doing such a good job trying to track him down, which many people
don't bother to do.  You've notified the powerful folks at rpca and we're
all sending homing thoughts to him for you.  I don't know what others have
done and if it helps at all, but I spent many nights trying to talk to Otis
in my head, mentally showing him to eat sardines in the trap!!!

You and Antonio are in our thoughts and I hope he gets his butt into a trap
ASAP.

Take care and don't forget to breathe!

Susan M
Otis and Chester
rooting for Antonio

It's not your fault Kelly, things like this just happen and not for any
reason at all, they just happen.

I lost my Bandit when I came home from a 3 day trip my son and this
girlfriend were with me and they left the door open as they were bringing in
their luggage.  I didn't worry about the door because Bandit never, *EVER*
tried to get outside (she's the one who, when she was a 6 week old kitten,
ran into my, a stranger to her, house and *WOULDN'T* be put back out).  I
found her break-away collar, with her tags, snagged on some bushes outside
of my apartment.  I was frantic, hysterical, sobbed inconsolably, I thought
I had lost my baby for good.

Well, she was gone for exactly 3 days - the same amount of time I was gone -
and then one morning when my DH was leaving for work he found her just
sitting on our door step waiting to be let back in like nothing had
happened.  I figured she did it to show me just how terrible it was to just
go off and leave someone for 3 days like I'd left her!

I've also heard people say that their cat had been gone for *MONTHS* and
they wound up getting them back home, so don't give up hope yet.

Hugs,

CatNipped

You haven't done anything wrong, and you haven't let Antonio down.  I was
almost crazy with worry a few weeks ago when Kitty Farmcat went missing for
36 hours.  I searched and searched for her, and found her injured, and with
a subnormal temperature in a neighbouring garden.
It was no good shouting for her, as she can't make a miaow that I can hear.
After some time at the vets, she made a complete recovery, as you can see by
her photo I recently posted.
I'd do what you thought, search the neighbourhood gardens, most people will
let you, or if they are suspicious of your motives they might go out and
look themselves if you ask nicely.
One thing is good, he's been feral and therefore must know how to look after
himself.
Lots of luck in finding him soon and please keep us updated.

Tweed

You certainly haven't let Antonio down! I can understand your feeling of
helplessness. Still purring for him to come home, I wish there was more
I could do. Hugs and purrs.