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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / July 2006Kitty Coupons (Funny)
To all those who have been having difficulty with obnoxious people lately, my kitties would like to offer their services free of charge. KUMANI offers One FREE hairball, delivered to Shoe of Your Choice! Has someone given you a nasty surprise? Now you can return the favour. (For accuracy of delivery, photo of shoe and scent sample of owner will be required.) ** TYCHE offers One FREE Hate Session! Is there someone you'd love to tell off, but for various reasons, cannot? Tyche can do it FOR you. Tyche has an extensive repetoire (including such hits as "Help Make The World A Nicer Place--Drop Dead," "Are You Naturally Stupid Or Did You Take Lessons" and "F*ck The Hell Off!") but will include phrases of your choice, as well as hissing, spitting and growling. *Tyche will not address hate sessions towards clowder members, police officers, or members of the armed forces. Everyone else is fair game! *** SMOKEY offers One FREE Pimp Slap, WORD. Know a B*tch who Needs a Slap? Smokey's Poke is Where it's At. Smokey Keeps those Hos in Line. One Good Slap and You'll Feel Fine. *Smokey Will Pimp Slap B*tches and Hos Of All Genders *** Nocturne offers One FREE Damnation of a Soul Why wait for the afterlife for eternal suffering and persecution, when Nocturne can begin their misery right here, right now? FAQ: Nox, why would you help someone for free? NOX: Cruelty is its own reward. Enjoy! --Fil > To all those who have been having difficulty with obnoxious people > lately, my kitties would like to offer their services free of charge. [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > > --Fil I have a job for Nocturne to provide eternal damnation towards a work manager who bullied me when my performance (naturally) fell when my mother was found dead. Give me details how to start Nox on her crusade. Does she need names? Maybe not but here it is. Dawn Howard. Get her, Nox! This person (person? doesn't deserve the word) bullied me into clinical depression and deserves all she gets. Nox is just the cat to do it. Tweed > I have a job for Nocturne to provide eternal damnation towards a work > manager who bullied me when my performance (naturally) fell when my mother > was found dead. Give me details how to start Nox on her crusade. > Does she need names? Maybe not but here it is. Dawn Howard. Get her, Nox! > This person (person? doesn't deserve the word) bullied me into clinical > depression and deserves all she gets. Nox is just the cat to do it. And perhaps She could make a quick stop by Catnipped's workplace as well? Given the stories we've been hearing around here lately, I think we could come up with lots of good, juicy assignments for the Queen of Darkness. Joyce > > I have a job for Nocturne to provide eternal damnation towards a work > > manager who bullied me when my performance (naturally) fell when my mother [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > we could come up with lots of good, juicy assignments for the Queen of > Darkness. You ask, Nox delivers. Look, she's even on the news. http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/Stormrave/results.jpg --Fil >> > I have a job for Nocturne to provide eternal damnation towards a work >> > manager who bullied me when my performance (naturally) fell when my [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > --Fil ROTFLMAOWTIME! Good one, Fil!  SignatureHugs, CatNipped See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/ > You ask, Nox delivers. Look, she's even on the news. > > http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/Stormrave/results.jpg Hah! You surprised me. I thought she'd be meatloafing on newspaper =P Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > You ask, Nox delivers. Look, she's even on the news. > http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/Stormrave/results.jpg Yes, she looks particularly evil in that shot. (NOT! She's going to have to try harder than that...) Joyce > > You ask, Nox delivers. Look, she's even on the news. > > http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/Stormrave/results.jpg [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Joyce It is more sinister when you can see her facial expression there... "You want to...sleep on this? That amuses me! ....go bring me some catnip." I'm gonna crop that photo--or worse, the half-lidded glare one--then re-do it. :) --Fil > You ask, Nox delivers. Look, she's even on the news. > > http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y212/Stormrave/results.jpg And someone else has also been rumbled!!!! http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/lsmadigan/detail?.dir=/e51dre2&.dnm=9861re2.jpg &.src=ph Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs > > I have a job for Nocturne to provide eternal damnation towards a work > > manager who bullied me when my performance (naturally) fell when my [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Joyce Oh how sweet ordering a special curse on my behalf! LOL! ;> Thanks, Joyce, I really could use it! SignatureHugs, CatNipped See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/ >To all those who have been having difficulty with obnoxious people >lately, my kitties would like to offer their services free of charge. [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > >--Fil ROFLMAO! Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh Make Levees, Not War >SMOKEY offers > >One FREE Pimp Slap, WORD. >Know a B*tch who Needs a Slap? Smokey's Poke is Where it's At. >Smokey Keeps those Hos in Line. One Good Slap and You'll Feel Fine. >*Smokey Will Pimp Slap B*tches and Hos Of All Genders I like Smokey's service, although Nox's also sounds tempting. I'd like a Smokey slap! > I like Smokey's service, although Nox's also sounds tempting. I'd > like a Smokey slap! It's delivered to your face at 5:30 a. m. so that you get out of bed and open a can of something containing gravy. ;) --Fil > To all those who have been having difficulty with obnoxious > people lately, my kitties would like to offer their services > free of charge. <snip text, insert order> > One FREE hairball, delivered to Shoe of Your Choice! [check] > One FREE Hate Session! [check] > One FREE Pimp Slap, WORD. [check] > One FREE Damnation of a Soul [check] I would like one of each. Do you need descriptions? Addresses? What do I owe you? Oh, FREE???? LOL SignatureCheryl > > One FREE hairball, delivered to Shoe of Your Choice! > [check] [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > I would like one of each. Do you need descriptions? Addresses? What > do I owe you? Oh, FREE???? LOL Really, it's not that generous of them... Kumani's gonna hork the hairball anyway (she's just nice enough to aim where requested) :) Tyche hates EVERYONE except family members, my buddy Jon, soldiers, and cops. And isn't afraid to tell them so! Smokey views everyone as a potential source of gravy/potential ho and Nocturne...is Nocturne... --Fil > To all those who have been having difficulty with obnoxious people > lately, my kitties would like to offer their services free of charge. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > (For accuracy of delivery, photo of shoe and scent sample of owner will > be required.) <snip> > FAQ: Nox, why would you help someone for free? > NOX: Cruelty is its own reward. > > Enjoy! > > --Fil Thanks ;) Best wishes, Polonca and Soncek |
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