You're probably right.

I agree that I played my part (still do) in differences between me and
my parents, but I also am starting to realize that the way I acted
stemmed in large part from how I was treated.  Not the words, but the
actions.  The words said, "You can be anything, and we'll support
you!"  In reality, though, any deviation from a set of acceptable
behaviors resulted in disappointment and anger.  I responded by
becoming an angry, rebellious child.  Yes, another child might have
internalized it differently, becoming sullen and withdrawn and quiet.
I'm glad I chose my route.

Now that I'm an angry, rebellious adult, though, it's time to heal those
wounds.  I do think my parents reaped what they sowed.  Whenever I
tell them anything about my life, they lecture me.  Whenever I tell
them anything about how I feel or ask them not to lecture me, I get
told that I'm too sensitive and that it's for my own good.  When I try
not to tell them anything worth arguing over, they complain that I've
built up a wall.

When my mom visited while I was laid off over a year ago, she insisted
on buying a second suit in addition to the interview suit we found.  She
claimed that I could wear it all the time, if not as a whole suit then
as a blazer over jeans or just the pants with a nice shirt.  I told her
at the time that that was never going to happen; tech companies just
don't work that way  (I know yours is starting to, Cheryl -- we'll see
where that goes).  But she was so excited about it that I gave in.  So
then on her latest visit, she asked me about the suits, and I told her
(maybe my mistake was being honest?) that I hadn't had any opportunity
to wear them -- they're just not appropriate for what I do; they would
look way, way out of place; people would think I was interviewing
somewhere else that day.  She got all disappointed.  It took me a few
days to realize how angry I am that she is manipulating me, punishing me
for not wearing something I didn't want in the first place and only
accepted because it seemed to make her so happy.

Ahem.  Anyway, yeah, I'm in therapy.  Can't change my parents, so I
might as well change myself.  Nuff said.

To be honest, I've realized that one major reason I don't want kids is
that I don't want to do to them what my parents did to me.  No, there
was no abuse, and yes, I know my parents did the best they could and
far better than many, but still, it's not a cycle I want to repeat.
There are other reasons, too, but that one's a biggie.