Purrs are on the way.

Joy

*hug*

Please don't cut yourself, Baha.  Know that there are many, many
people out here who love you and whose cats are purring for you and
for your health.  Cutting will provide a temporary outlet, but as you
know it is dangerous and in the long run, it won't help your problems.
It might make them worse.

Do you have a help line you could call?  Maybe you could call 911 and
tell them you are on the verge of cutting yourself -- you might be
hospitalized for a few days for monitoring, but honestly, that might
be a good opportunity to be away from work stress.

If you have to, quit.  You can live for a while without money.  It's
not as bad for your health, in the long run, as the stress.  Believe
me.

Purrs are on the way.

Please get some help for yourself, Baha!
We are thinking of you, sending purrs and hugs,
Polonca and Soncek

Purrs you find another (suitable!) job soon, and purrs for your nerves.

Jill

Purrs that you find better work, or your situation improves, and don't
hurt yourself!

I could not understand cutting.  Then a few hours after I learned that my
brother died, I injured my hand while trying to finish something I was
working on.  It was a shock that having that pain to focus on and to feel
seemed good.  It was very similar to disassociation where your mind takes
you someplace else to avoid a painful situation.

Don't allow them to do this to you.  You are too important to yourself and
to Louie and to your babies.

Get yourself out of the situation if you can.  But don't forget you matter.
You matter a lot.  Don't give the a.sholes this kind of control.

Now go home and hold a cat.  If it gets tired of scritches, well you have
more than one cat, right?

Jo

Baha, I can understand how tempting that is - I've known other people
who have the same issue. But please don't take the frustration and
stress out on yourself!

Is there a support group in your area for self-harmers you could join?
That might make a big difference. This is probably too hard to try to
tackle by yourself. At times like this, it would really help to have a
list of phone numbers you could call to get you through it.

This job is clearly bad for your health. Do you have the option of
quitting and looking for another one?

Hugs,
Joyce

Purrs!

Oh, {{{{{{Baha}}}}}}}

Please take good care of yourself and don't hurt yourself.  Have faith
that something will work itself out.  Very strong purrs coming your
way from me and the nine magnificent cats.

Ginger-lyn

Home Pages:
 http://www.moonsummer.com
 http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats)
 http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy)
 http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against
                        Animals in Movies Website)

Sounds like you could use a burger at Fudrakers, and a chance to sit
around and complain for awhile.

I am right now on break. I ran off from the call room because I am
right now
on the verge of cutting myself. I can no longer take this bullshit> I
am on
my way to getting fired. Help

Purrs on the way.

I'm home. I'm not cut. The only thing that may be cut is this godforsaken job,
but I won't know until later in the week.

I had an interview for anothewr position in the bank in an area wherein I'm
trained, and it seemed so promising. I'm afraid now this problem with a bad call
will cause me a discipline and they'll use it to keep me in that GD phone room.
One place I worked at did it that way. Now I have on file a paper from my doctor
that I was to have been transfered out of there back in May. It's been seven
weeks, no transfer. Only the right to attempt to post out, which is no guarantee
of getting out. I thought of just walking out, but I've had so many jobs in the
past several years. Some were seasonal only, that's true. I'm wondering if it's
even to my benefit to put extra-cash holiday jobs on the resume. Two jobs got
sent offshore because money is more important than the American worker. God, do
we need a union. But I am more unskilled than a doorknob. I suppose an agency
might find me some long-term stuf fif I'm lucky. But everyone's going to ask
what happened to the last job. "I quit for my health"? "I'm too freaking nuts
for the work"? "Batshit says it all"? How do you answer that question?

For an hour and a half I put up with a man who went from pure sarcasm to
insulting personal (not bank) integrity and intelligence. These are two things I
hold in particularly high regard. I couldn't find a supervisor, the office
seating and such were recently changed. Their extensions were posted but in an
area where I coul not see from my desk. The man had me in tears. I threw soft
things at the wall; I always have a ball or two of yarn with me, they don't make
noise. I did bash my arm and knee on the desk good and hard. That did make noise
and I got accused of tossing a scene and yelling at the supervisor after I
finally broke the connection with Mr. Dickhead Jones. Yelling! I am a rare
female tenor with a talent for vocal projection. Had they wanted yelling, I
could have provided it in abundance. "I am finished with this call and am going
on break," I told the supervisor, "please leave me alone a bit." I suppose the
man took crying for yelling, I don't know, but my voice was not raised. That was
when I went to the break area yesterday and started my message, and was followed
by this man and his colleague. I ended up getting a resounding chewing out, told
they didn't know what kind of discipline might be administered, and they let it
go for the moment. They'll tell my boss of course, and I'm in for a world of
$#!+ Wednesday morning.

I left Linda a message saying that I acknowledged that I did not handle the call
in the best way, but pointed out that it we are to get a supervisor, their names
and extensions should be posted conspicuously, in multiple places, and we should
not be wasting time running around for a person. Our office is huge; the
building takes up its own city block. Then I pointed out that, as it is a first
offense and I have a good record, we should look to means of improving the
situation rather than spoiling that record. In other words, I want my a.s
covered so i can get out of that cesspool per my doctor's order.

My friends including the Prophet told me that, with the medical order, I have a
potential legal case if a job in the bank arises and I cannot have a chance at
it; the order was to transfer me as soon as a position within my scope of
abilities was available. Now I acted like a Senkin Aasi, and I'm scared they'll
use it against me. There has been a problem in the atmosphere ever since I came
back from my sick leave.

So I'm home, and didn't cut. You guys now know my filthy little secret: I have a
25-year history of cutting and, as much as I hate to put it this way, the
therapist and I have barely scratched the surface in terms of treatment. Next
time, I call the doctor. He'll probably call out a 941 on me. That's when the
police come and take me to the Happy Hotel, an arrest without a record. It has
happened to me twice in the three times I've been taken to the booby hatch.
Bitter irony: both times, the officer who came for me was my former boss from
Citbank, who joined the police force when his job was the first to be sent
offshore.

Louie came downtown to get me. We wasted a pot of money taking our friend and my
editor and writing mentor John-Allen to the buffet at the casino, but money well
spent for the company and help; he's a damn good man. And we went to karaoke and
I got a standing ovation for God Bless The USA. Good, needed it. Then I came
home and gave my babies a big fat hug. Brandy licked me. Stosh apent more time
than usual massaging me. He's such a good kid, they all are.

Thank you, each and every one of you. I didn't get to finish yesterday's post
because the bosses followed me upstairs. You all have helped shield me from the
slings and arrows indeed. So purrs for all the good things for you, and that all
the bad get the hell out your doors.

Blessed be,
Baha