This entry will have you laughing hard, so you've been warned.  

We're going through our normal routine, taking care of animals and
preparing for two kitties to have dentals when one of the
receptionists comes in.  A concerned client was on the phone and was
worried about his cat.

Apparently the client's young toddler thought it would be cute to
empty an entire tube of diaper rash ointment on the cat.

(Pause for OMGs and laughter)  

*****I forget who, but I know Mithu's owner and other people on this
NG have small children and cats.  So read on, and take proper
precautions!!!

The client was concerned because even after wiping it off, it was
greasy and all matted in the hair and the cat was licking it off.  Dr.
C said to wash it off immediately because the ointment has zinc oxide
which is toxic to cats.  The receptionist went to tell the client and
we continued with everything.

A few hours later, I was alone in treatment when I got called to the
waiting room.  In the waiting room was the very same client, with his
baby girl who  had done the deed, and the cat in a carrier.  He
explained that after washing the cat THREE times, the fur was still
greasy and icky and asked if we could bathe the cat.  He turned to his
daughter and asked,

"Honey, how long was it after you put the ointment on the cat before
you told us?"

"yeah....i put the ointment on the cat......" the girl replied

"Yes you did, but did you play with the cat or did you immediately
come and tell us?"

".....immeditly tell us......"

"Or did you play with the cat some more?"

".....played with the.....cat some more......."

By this time I'm trying hard not to laugh and I tell the client that
we would give it a try.

BTW, the family named is Beerstein, and the cat's name is Cervesa.
(pause for laughter, cause 'cerveza' is spanish for beer)

So I bring the cat back, and it is obvious that this cat is NOT happy.
He's not growling or anything but there's a note in his file that
he's not been cooperative in the past.  So I hand him off to Charles
for his bath.

20 minutes later, the cat is in a cage with a cage dryer, and Charles
is shaking his head.

"I've tried FOUR different shampoos and even Dawn dish soap, but the
cat is still greasy."  He said it was a little better, but the hair
was still greasy.

The last time I checked on the cat, he was facing away from the cage
door, CLEARLY not happy with the entire situation.  Meanwhile, his
hair was drying all spiked up in all directions.  Poor Baby!!!

The consensus was that since it didn't come out even after Dawn dish
soap, it probably wasn't going to come out, even with the cat licking
himself.  However, by now any harmful chemicals should have been
washed out by now.  The only thing to do was to dry the cat and either
wait it to wear off or grow out; or to shave the cat.

And I'm very sorry, but my shift ended at 4 and the owner was not to
arrive until 5, so I do not have the final details of this story.  I
will find out the rest of the details when I go back to work on
Tuesday.  SORRY!!!!!!!

Okay on to another funny story,

Maybe not that funny if you're a guy, but I think it's really funny.

Ok, last week, Dr. S was out because it was his daughter's bat mitzvah
(hope I got the spelling right) Dr. C went to it and then came to work
at the clinic in the afternoon.  So we were talking about it that
afternoon.

a while later, Dr. C brings back this box turtle.  I remembered this
turtle had been in about a month ago for a prolapsed penis.  Meaning
it got stuck out and the turtle was unable to retract it and it got
dried and infected.  Guys, don't you just hate it when that happens?

(pause for snickers and chuckles)

I still remember holding the turtle while Dr. C stuck it back in,
cleaned up the area and put in a few sutures to keep it from slipping
out again.  Boy, which I could do that to a guy.....

(pause for more snickers and chuckles)

The sutures were taken out a week later and everything was okay.  

Anyways, so my co-workers and I are talking about the bat mitzvah when
Dr.  C comes back with the same turtle.  The same thing happend again
and the area was all red and the tissue was necrotic and icky.  So I
glove up again, and ask what is going to be done.  Dr. C says,  "Well,
I'll inject a bit of lidocaine, then I'll tie off the penis with some
suture material and cut it off."

Uh, say that again?  

My co-workers and I all looked at each other.  After a pause we all
started giggling a bit and I suddenly said,

"So you're going to perform a turtle circumcision?"

That did it, now we're all chuckling, even Dr. C.  By now most of my
co-workers have stopped what they're doing to watch.  I mean, c'mon,
how often are you going to see a turtle get 'snipped'?

I'm stifling giggles as I'm holding the turtle and watching as Dr. C
ties it off and then reaches for the scissors.......   The turtle
which has been hiding his head all this time, sticks out his head all
the way (they really have long necks) and tries to bite my hand.

Clearly he was saying, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Poor guy, but we're cracking jokes ranging from saying "Mazeltov" to
whether it's a Jewish turtle to whether his owner is guy or not.  
Fortunately it was owned by two girls.  Sheesh, can you imagine being
a guy owning a turtle that just got snipped?  Have fun explaining THAT
to your friends.

Now a quick pause for an anatomy lesson.  Yes, the turtle will still
be able to pee.  Turtles have a cloaca where the urinary, intestinal,
and reproductive systems meet.  A turtle's penis is only used for
reproduction.  So the only thing this turtle will not be able to do is
make baby turtles.

Um, let's see, what else?

If you think naming a cat Mischief was cool, there was a big German
Shepard in today named Havoc.  hehehe

There's a BIG Maine Coon kitty staying with us.  Most Maine Coons that
I've seen haven't been very nice.  This one though rolled on his back
and gave me the upside down head so I could give him a belly rub.

And his name?  Moose.

Okay, on to do homework............ARGH!!!!!

Kristi