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Expectations about weight OT

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Christina Websell - 07 May 2006 01:04 GMT
I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
wife said to me was  "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim."  I haven't
seen her for two years.
What's that about?
Does it matter to my family what my weight is?  I hope not.  What if since
the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat?  What would she had said
then?  I know what she would have said actually.  "I have a diet that you
might like to go on.."  She is obsessed about being slim.  Huh, I told her
the thinner she is the more wrinkles she'll have. ;-)

Tweed
Monique Y. Mudama - 07 May 2006 01:42 GMT
> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
> isn't.
> Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
> wife said to me was  "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim."  I haven't
> seen her for two years.
> What's that about?

I wish I knew!

> Does it matter to my family what my weight is?  I hope not.  What if since
> the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat?  What would she had said
> then?  I know what she would have said actually.  "I have a diet that you
> might like to go on.."  She is obsessed about being slim.  Huh, I told her
> the thinner she is the more wrinkles she'll have. ;-)

*snicker*

It's just assumed that thin = good, and that if you're thin you must
be thrilled about it, and if you're not thin that you must be terribly
bothered about it, and actively working against it.  Nevermind if
you're thin because you've been ill, or if you're actually trying to
gain weight, or if you're happy with how you look.

On the plus side, she probably meant well and intended to compliment
you.

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monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

Christina Websell - 07 May 2006 02:04 GMT
>> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
>> isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> On the plus side, she probably meant well and intended to compliment
> you.

Oh, probably so.  Normally I wouldn't mind if she wasn't so weight-obsessive
and that seems to be all that matters.  This seems to be new thing in the
last few years, maybe she read something somewhere.
I don't buy into "thin is good - fat is bad."

Tweed
Christine K. - 07 May 2006 09:01 GMT
>> On the plus side, she probably meant well and intended to compliment
>> you.
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> Tweed

Being that weight-obsessive, she'd probably have a stroke if she ever
met me - at the moment the scales show around 130kg...
I do want to lose some weight, but it's not done at the flick of a
switch. Both DH and I need to redo our eating habits (he's a bit heavier
than me still), so now I'm reading books, searching the internet and
about to work out a program that would work for us. That's just the way
I am, big things require thorough planning.

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Monique Y. Mudama - 07 May 2006 17:01 GMT
> Being that weight-obsessive, she'd probably have a stroke if she
> ever met me - at the moment the scales show around 130kg...  I do
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> internet and about to work out a program that would work for us.
> That's just the way I am, big things require thorough planning.

Christine,

One thing I've found is that my eating isn't really about eating.
It's really psychological.  I don't know enough about you to venture
anything, but it might be interesting to try to figure out if there's
such an aspect to how you eat.  Unfortunately, while I knew there was
more going on than just eating, I seem to need a therapist to help me
figure out the details.  (Actually, I shouldn't say unfortunately --
it's great! -- but it's a lot of time and money.)

You might find the books by Covert Bailey interesting:

http://www.rondagates.com/covert/

One thing he points out is that the more fat we carry, the harder it
is on our bodies to do intense exercise, so he recommends that, if
you're not currently exercising (I don't know if you are or aren't),
you start by just walking.  Walk fast enough that you can't carry on
a conversation easily, but not so fast that you're gasping or that you
can't utter a few words now and then comfortably.  Walking isn't as
hard on the knees as many activities, too.

Actually, I think just about everyone benefits from walking,
regardless of weight or fitness level (although the more fit you are,
the faster you want to walk, or on inclines, etc, to get the benefit).
My aunt lives in the mountains in Park City, Utah.  Her daily walks
are perforce up and down serious slopes at about 8Kft of altitude.
Whenever I visit there, I think, geez, if I had that right outside my
door, I'd be in great shape.  Of course that's not entirely true;
first I would have to step outside my door on a regular basis.

Now I'm realizing that I've been griping to myself about not being
able to exercise because of the wrist, all my appointments, etc, but
no one's stopping me from walking every day.  I make it an excuse when
DH won't join me, but again, that's an excuse, and I need to recognize
it as such.

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monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

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Christine K. - 07 May 2006 19:31 GMT
> Christine,
>
> One thing I've found is that my eating isn't really about eating.
> It's really psychological.  I don't know enough about you to venture
> anything, but it might be interesting to try to figure out if there's
> such an aspect to how you eat.

I *know* that a lot of my eating is psychological, and even partly
child-like too (he got more than I did, boo hoo). I eat when I'm happy,
when I'm sad, when I celebrate etc. I need to learn to consciously react
on the wrong kind of eating, or eating for the wrong reasons, but that
may be a bit tricky as the impulse to eat comes from the sub-conscious.
Eating is a baby thing, putting stuff in our mouths to feel secure and
happy.

 Unfortunately, while I knew there was
> more going on than just eating, I seem to need a therapist to help me
> figure out the details.  (Actually, I shouldn't say unfortunately --
> it's great! -- but it's a lot of time and money.)

I can't afford therapists, but have thought of checking with our company
doctor and/or nurse if they could help me.

> You might find the books by Covert Bailey interesting:
>
> http://www.rondagates.com/covert/

I checked out the site and the books he's written and they seem very
good. However, I have a few books already, bought them ages ago but
never really read them. Among others a book by Marilyn Diamond - Fit for
life cook book. And I also have a few cook books concentrating on the
veggie side, which I'm not that good at. In them I'm looking for
pointers to cook simple dishes containing more veggies than the food
I've made so far. Salads are easy, but they are also cold. This is not a
problem in the summer, but in the winter I don't enjoy eating cold food.

> One thing he points out is that the more fat we carry, the harder it
> is on our bodies to do intense exercise, so he recommends that, if
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> can't utter a few words now and then comfortably.  Walking isn't as
> hard on the knees as many activities, too.

Yep, we both, DH and myself, carry one whopper of a load of excess
baggage. And I would easily get him with me for a walk, it's just
something we have to do - to actually get the idea of taking a walk -
when we usually just watch TV or tinker about on the computers. I think
that I'd be happy in the beginning with even slow walks, as long as they
were regular. And when walking becomes more of a habit, the walking
speed would have increased too.

Another form of excercise that is easy on your knees is swimming. Being
a former water-polo player I do enjoy to swim. The company I work for
provides a reasonable size swimming pool that employees can use free of
charge. It is actually a sprinkler pool - water used to extinguish a
fire, should there be one in the adjoining warehouse, but it is built
like an ordinary 25m pool. I've got a friend at the office with whom
I've been swimming on Mondays, but the last few Mondays we've had other
things to do, so no swimming...

> Now I'm realizing that I've been griping to myself about not being
> able to exercise because of the wrist, all my appointments, etc, but
> no one's stopping me from walking every day.  I make it an excuse when
> DH won't join me, but again, that's an excuse, and I need to recognize
> it as such.

Excuses are so much easier to make that doing the actual excercise. It's
a way of cheating yourself, really. Make yourself feel less guilty about
not doing something you should do. And believe me, I *know*. :)

Thank you for your pointers and your concern about my health. I promise
I'll do something about it. Starting with small changes, cheating myself
actually, so I won't notice what I'm doing... ;)

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Christine in Vantaa, Finland
christal63 (at) gmail (dot) com
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Jo Firey - 07 May 2006 19:47 GMT
>> Christine,
>>
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> be a bit tricky as the impulse to eat comes from the sub-conscious. Eating
> is a baby thing, putting stuff in our mouths to feel secure and happy.

Trouble is, even getting to the root of the problem, understanding exactly
why you eat at inappropriate times or in excessive amounts won't solve the
problem.

I know that my eleven o'clock feeding as an infant was extended well into my
childhood.  I remember waking up and getting a glass of milk and going back
to bed.  And that it was one of those little family "jokes".  But it wasn't
considered a problem.  I was far too thin and no one would have dreamed of
suggesting that I cut out any source of nourishment.

Haven't been even close to thin in a very long time.  But many nights I
cannot go to sleep without eating something.  Knowing why doesn't help a
bit.  Even sleeping pills don't help, cause then I get up and go eat after I
fall asleep.

Now I'm sixty years old and still joking to my DH that I've really got to
cut out my 11pm feeding.

Jo
Monique Y. Mudama - 09 May 2006 03:49 GMT
> Trouble is, even getting to the root of the problem, understanding
> exactly why you eat at inappropriate times or in excessive amounts
> won't solve the problem.

Not on its own, no, but it can help.

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Marina - 08 May 2006 05:17 GMT
> And I also have a few cook books concentrating on the
> veggie side, which I'm not that good at. In them I'm looking for
> pointers to cook simple dishes containing more veggies than the food
> I've made so far. Salads are easy, but they are also cold. This is not a
> problem in the summer, but in the winter I don't enjoy eating cold food.

Maybe I could give you some pointers about veggies. Get a wok pan and
stir fry veggies. Add a handful of cashew nuts to the mix. I also use a
lot of chili powder for my stir-fries. With proper seasoning, it's just
as satisfying as a meal with meat. Chopping the veggies does tend to
take some time, but the cooking itself is quick. There are lots of
frozen veggie mixes for the wok, but I find them strangely tasteless. I
don't know how they manage to remove the flavour from the veggies. :o/

A very quick veggie meal is pasta and tomato sauce. Just cook the pasta,
and after draining it, put it back on the stove and add the tomatoes and
heat it. I usually prefer passata to chopped tomatoes because it has a
stronger taste of tomatoes. You can add frozen peas and maize to the
sauce, and lots of fresh basil. This is staple for me for those days
that I come home tired from work and want something quick.

I've got heaps of veggie recipes, if you want to pick my brain. ;o)

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Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.
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Matthew aka NMR - 08 May 2006 07:00 GMT
If you want recipes ideas  or what ever just ask  I know hunfreds of ways to
make eating healthy taste gret and be easy.  Specaily I just learned a new
onion ring recipe that does not involved deep frying
Christine K. - 08 May 2006 16:44 GMT
> If you want recipes ideas  or what ever just ask  I know hunfreds of ways to
> make eating healthy taste gret and be easy.  Specaily I just learned a new
> onion ring recipe that does not involved deep frying

Thanks. Like I replied to Marina, I want simple, quick and tasty veggie
based dishes without bell peppers of any colour. Feel free to email me
off the list, my addy is fairly dechiferable.

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Singh - 09 May 2006 04:18 GMT
Les Oignons? Do share please!

> If you want recipes ideas  or what ever just ask  I know hunfreds of ways to
> make eating healthy taste gret and be easy.  Specaily I just learned a new
> onion ring recipe that does not involved deep frying
Tish Silberbauer - 08 May 2006 07:26 GMT
I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
chickpeas, etc.  Preparing the beans from scratch may taste a little
better, but tinned beans are so quick and are always in my cupboard.
They can be used as part of a pasta sauce / casserole (minestrone
style) or as part of a mexican-style dish (with ground corriander,
cumin and chilli), as part of an eastern European style stew with a
little bacon, and so on.  Admittedly, mostly my efforts turn out to be
variants on the "brown stew" concept, but they taste good and are very
filling without being too fattening (mind you, you have to stay away
from the cheese and cream toppings!).  

Beans can also be used to "stretch" minced (ground) meat recipes, e.g.
substituting half the quantity of minced meat for red kidney beans
when cooking bolognaise sauce.  You can also "pad" bolognaise sauce by
putting in lots of grated carrot, or one of my favourites, beetroot
(which gives the sauce a spectacular colour) - they both add a bit of
sweetness to the sauce and make a little bit of meat go a *long* way.

Of course, there is any number of delicious Indian vegetarian meals.
One of my favourites, for quick, easy, healthy food, is to cut up a
handful of each of 4 - 6  different vegetables (cabbage, carrots,
beans, onion, etc), tossing a dessert-spoon of the spice mix "panch
phora" into a hot pan, adding the veggies and stir fry them until they
are al-dente (this may require putting different veggies in at
different times).  Add chilli if you wish.  Season to taste.  Serve
with rice.  super and takes about 10 minutes of cooking (and about 10
- 15 minutes before that of cutting up the vegetables).  I generally
cut up the veggies until they are fine (e.g. shredded cabbage) so that
they cook quickly.

I am constitutionally unable to cook small quantities, so I always
seem to make bucket-loads.  I'm lucky that all varieties of bean
casserole keep well and generally taste better the day after.  If we
can't face the same meal twice in two days, I put the left-overs into
the freezer for when I can't be bothered cooking.  Otherwise DH gets
it for lunch the next day (and the day after, and the day after that!)

I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
extraordinary effort.  I know I have a long way to go, but making some
progress is such a nice feeling.  I've been following the guidelines
of a low GI diet (with varying degrees of strictness), which works for
me.  I started exercising by walking a short distance and then
gradually increasing it.  I began with finding it hard to walk 20
minutes at a good pace and now, 18 months later, am walking 2-3 hours
at a time (although not every day!).  I also am getting out and
working in the garden more often, which is great upper-body and
stretching exercise.  I find it difficult to stick to a gym routine,
so a more informal regime of getting out of doors works for me.

Tish

>> And I also have a few cook books concentrating on the
>> veggie side, which I'm not that good at. In them I'm looking for
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
>I've got heaps of veggie recipes, if you want to pick my brain. ;o)
Matthew aka NMR - 08 May 2006 07:31 GMT
Not so true about the cheese and the cream  there are certain brands that
taste great but have very little trans or real fat in them

Take those beans you love so much  mix them with vegetables of your choice
blend them up season them
And use lettuce as a wrap instead of a tortilla  make your self something
new looks like crap but dam does it taste good

>I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
> chickpeas, etc.  Preparing the beans from scratch may taste a little
[quoted text clipped - 70 lines]
>>
>>I've got heaps of veggie recipes, if you want to pick my brain. ;o)
Marina - 08 May 2006 16:11 GMT
> I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
> chickpeas, etc.  

So do I. I'm not supposed to eat any animal proteins, so I use beans and
nuts for protein. I especially love chickpeas. Usually make a curry out
of them, but I also have a very nice salad recipe that I posted some
time last year.

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Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.
Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/
Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/
and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki

Christine K. - 08 May 2006 16:55 GMT
> I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
> chickpeas, etc.  Preparing the beans from scratch may taste a little
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> (which gives the sauce a spectacular colour) - they both add a bit of
> sweetness to the sauce and make a little bit of meat go a *long* way.

I do use mince meat a lot, and these ideas of "stretching" recipes with
beans, carrots, beetroot and such are great. I seldom use recipes when I
cook, I just like to feel my way, and have been known to use the
strangest seasonings as long as the end result is tasty.

> I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
> the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>
> Tish

Congrats on the good results!! And even better if you don't feel like
you're dieting. After all, what at least I'm trying to achieve, is
learning to eat the right foods at the right amounts, because I'm
obviously not doing that or I wouldn't be this size...

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Christine in Vantaa, Finland
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W. Leong - 08 May 2006 18:39 GMT
>I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
> chickpeas, etc.  Preparing the beans from scratch may taste a little
[quoted text clipped - 32 lines]
> the freezer for when I can't be bothered cooking.  Otherwise DH gets
> it for lunch the next day (and the day after, and the day after that!)

I've learned how to cook for one. Any leftovers are either eaten the
following days or frozen. Just like you said.

> I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
> the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> stretching exercise.  I find it difficult to stick to a gym routine,
> so a more informal regime of getting out of doors works for me.

I like walking, especially in nice days we are having. Save on bus fares
too.
In the winter, I walk up and down the stairs of the highrise I live in.
I am not trying to lose weight, as I am underweight. But it is about the
only
exercise I  am doing. It is weight bearing, and so should be good for my
bones.

Winnie

> Tish
>
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
>>
>>I've got heaps of veggie recipes, if you want to pick my brain. ;o)
Yowie - 08 May 2006 23:15 GMT
>I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
> chickpeas, etc.  Preparing the beans from scratch may taste a little
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> filling without being too fattening (mind you, you have to stay away
> from the cheese and cream toppings!).

"Brown Stew" to you is "bog" to us. Bog comes in an infinite variety of
variations, but its base is mincemeat, its sloppy, and you serve it with
your starchy component. Pasta (tomato bog), rice (plain bog), corn chips
(Mexican bog), potatoes - fries (bacon + chilli bog) or mash (upside down
shephard's pie). And then there is the crock pot, which is "Watson's
Dinner". ie, "whatson the cupboard & fridge at the moment"

> Beans can also be used to "stretch" minced (ground) meat recipes, e.g.
> substituting half the quantity of minced meat for red kidney beans
> when cooking bolognaise sauce.  You can also "pad" bolognaise sauce by
> putting in lots of grated carrot, or one of my favourites, beetroot
> (which gives the sauce a spectacular colour) - they both add a bit of
> sweetness to the sauce and make a little bit of meat go a *long* way.

Oh, never tried beetroot in bog. I take it that the beetroot would be the
fresh variety rather than the picked type? beans are eer present in almost
all our meals, as is broccoli. Cary has a passion for broccoli & beans.
Can't complain about that!

> Of course, there is any number of delicious Indian vegetarian meals.
> One of my favourites, for quick, easy, healthy food, is to cut up a
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> cut up the veggies until they are fine (e.g. shredded cabbage) so that
> they cook quickly.

I like frying vegies in sesame oil. Gives them a lovely nutty flavour.

> I am constitutionally unable to cook small quantities, so I always
> seem to make bucket-loads.  I'm lucky that all varieties of bean
> casserole keep well and generally taste better the day after.  If we
> can't face the same meal twice in two days, I put the left-overs into
> the freezer for when I can't be bothered cooking.  Otherwise DH gets
> it for lunch the next day (and the day after, and the day after that!)

LOL! me too. A few winters ago when we were dirt poor, I think we ate out of
the crockpot for a week sraight. First meal is straight crockpot, second a
can of tomatoes goes in, third variety has chilli & beans added, fourth meal
has had curry powder added etc etc. It can go a long way, and after a week,
you certainly only eat because you are hungry, and don't over eat!

> I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
> the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> stretching exercise.  I find it difficult to stick to a gym routine,
> so a more informal regime of getting out of doors works for me.

Goodonya! I should try and get rid of my excess insulation too, although
never seem to have the time.

Yowie
Shiral - 09 May 2006 03:01 GMT
> I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
> the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>
> Tish

Unfortunately for me, beans give me an upset stomach, and aside from
string beans, I've never been able to stand the things. There's
something about the texture of legumes that I find absolutely awful,
and I can't quite describe what my aversion is.  A friend of mine
served chili one night although she knew "I don't do beans" and after
that meal, she was convinced.  I'd fished out every bean in my bowl and
laid it to rest on my plate, but ate the rest of the chili quite
willingly. =o)  I do like hummus, seeing that the essential "bean-ness"
has been whipped into something tasty and smooth and not actually
recognizable as beans, as such.

I've been doing belly dancing for fitness since January, and I'm
noticing my clothes fit me a lot better.  because bellly-dancing
involves the hips so much, it's been REALLY great for reducing bulge
between my waist and my knees.  It's also helped my shoulders and upper
arms, as it involves a lot of work with the arms and shoulders.  I
exercise because I must, basically, but find it a necessary evil.
However belly dancing is a fairly pleasant form of it, and now that I'm
seeing real results, it's very encouraging.

I just wish I could get rid of my sweet tooth!

Melissa
Shiral - 09 May 2006 03:03 GMT
> I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
> the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>
> Tish

Unfortunately for me, beans give me an upset stomach, and aside from
string beans, I've never been able to stand the things. There's
something about the texture of legumes that I find absolutely awful,
and I can't quite describe what my aversion is.  A friend of mine
served chili one night although she knew "I don't do beans" and after
that meal, she was convinced.  I'd fished out every bean in my bowl and
laid it to rest on my plate, but ate the rest of the chili quite
willingly. =o)  I do like hummus, seeing that the essential "bean-ness"
has been whipped into something tasty and smooth and not actually
recognizable as beans, as such.

I've been doing belly dancing for fitness since January, and I'm
noticing my clothes fit me a lot better.  Because bellly-dancing
involves the hips so much, it's been REALLY great for reducing bulk
between my waist and my knees.  It's also helped my shoulders and upper
arms, as it involves a lot of work with the arms and shoulders.  I
exercise because I must, basically, and while I like the results, I'm
still not crazy about exercise for its own sake.  However belly dancing
is a fairly pleasant form of it, and now that I'm seeing real results,
it's very encouraging.

I just wish I could get rid of my sweet tooth!

Melissa
Monique Y. Mudama - 09 May 2006 03:46 GMT
> I've been doing belly dancing for fitness since January, and I'm
> noticing my clothes fit me a lot better.  Because bellly-dancing
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> However belly dancing is a fairly pleasant form of it, and now that
> I'm seeing real results, it's very encouraging.

And it sounds like an awful lot of fun!

I agree with you about exercise for its own sake.  I hate walking
treadmills, running along the road, etc.  I just get bored.  But I
have a great time riding my bicycle on mountain trails, playing
soccer, doing martial arts ... anything where exercise is a byproduct,
not the whole point.  When I was younger my friends and I would chase
around the woods with padded swords, beating the snot out of each
other ... that was great fun, too.  (Not for everyone, I imagine --
one time I got clocked in the ear and it hurt so bad, but I couldn't
feel my ear, that I actually looked on the ground for it before
realizing it was still attached to my head and not even bleeding.)

One semi-exception for me is weight training.  Although I don't
actually do it regularly, in college I had a friend who trained with
me, and the two of us did all sorts of freeweights.  I find it
satisfying, but I really want a partner to do it with me, and my
schedule is way too irregular right now to subject a partner to it.

Did I mention the belly dancing sounds like an awful lot of fun?

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Shiral - 10 May 2006 17:35 GMT
It's a lot easier for me to do the exercises than it used to be,
especially when it comes to the shoulder shimmys.  I didn't realize how
much tension I carried in my shoulders  until I had to try wiggling
them back and forth rapidly. =o) But in the mornings,  I put a dvd in
my player and follow these two smiling, sadistic ladies named Veena and
Neena who both have fabulous bodies while they demonstrate their belly
dance work out.  But hey, their bodies don't lie. =o) And their hip
exercises have a definite shrinking effect on my spare tire.

Francesca and Nina sometimes flop down on the living room  rug and
watch me with expressions of amazement while I'm doing the workout.  I
can just hear them thinking "Why doesn't she just try leaping after a
tassel on the end of a tether like WE do?" Remaining unselfconsious
under the contemptuous eyes of cats is no mean feat. =o)

Melissa
jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@sonic.net - 10 May 2006 21:50 GMT
> But in the mornings,  I put a dvd in
> my player and follow these two smiling, sadistic ladies named Veena and
> Neena who both have fabulous bodies while they demonstrate their belly
> dance work out.

LOL!

Joyce
Monique Y. Mudama - 10 May 2006 23:12 GMT
> Francesca and Nina sometimes flop down on the living room  rug and
> watch me with expressions of amazement while I'm doing the workout.
> I can just hear them thinking "Why doesn't she just try leaping
> after a tassel on the end of a tether like WE do?" Remaining
> unselfconsious under the contemptuous eyes of cats is no mean feat.
> =o)

So true!  And I worry about landing on pets when doing martial arts.
They don't seem to get it.  Puma (RB dog) used to try to walk under me
while I was doing kicks.  I appreciate the vote of confidence, but
eek!

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Singh - 09 May 2006 04:18 GMT
I belong to Curves and should go more...please someone give me a virtual
buttkicking to get me to do more exercise than my daily walk!

As for hummus...food of the gods!

Blessed be,
Baha

> Unfortunately for me, beans give me an upset stomach, and aside from
> string beans, I've never been able to stand the things. There's
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
>
> Melissa
Christine K. - 08 May 2006 16:41 GMT
> I've got heaps of veggie recipes, if you want to pick my brain. ;o)

Yes, great! We can emal each other off the ng. What I'm looking for are
very easy, quick and tasty veggie dishes. But the recipes will have to
be without bell peppers, as they don't agree with me unless they're
"baked dead" like in a lasagna, where the dish is in the oven for about
an hour.

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Monique Y. Mudama - 09 May 2006 03:41 GMT
>> Christine,
>>
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> child-like too (he got more than I did, boo hoo). I eat when I'm
> happy, when I'm sad, when I celebrate etc.

That describes my eating habits perfectly, too!

> I need to learn to consciously react on the wrong kind of eating, or
> eating for the wrong reasons, but that may be a bit tricky as the
> impulse to eat comes from the sub-conscious.  

I think it's very important to do so without punishment, without
telling yourself you're a bad person for wanting these things.

I think one reason I do so poorly with diets and such is that, deep
down, I'm pretty sure that when I straighten out my head, the food
just won't be an issue anymore.  But maybe that's just another excuse.

In any case, if I have to keep avoiding all the interesting food in
order to keep my stomach from clenching, perhaps I'll lose an awful
lot of weight.  Maybe my body's trying to do me a favor =P

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Christine K. - 09 May 2006 19:14 GMT
> In any case, if I have to keep avoiding all the interesting food in
> order to keep my stomach from clenching, perhaps I'll lose an awful
> lot of weight.  Maybe my body's trying to do me a favor =P

Don't tell yourself you have to avoid interesting food, you only have to
avoid food that's bad for you. I now find it very interesting to
"research" all sorts of veggie/light recipes and finding my own way of
making them.

Just like I keep telling my mum, not to keep telling herself she'll
never learn to use a computer, because then her sub-conscious will
listen to that "command" and make it harder for her to learn. That
dratted sub-conscious of ours has NO sense of humour and doesn't do
sarcasm. It just takes what we say or think at face value.

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W. Leong - 09 May 2006 19:34 GMT
> Don't tell yourself you have to avoid interesting food, you only have to
> avoid food that's bad for you. I now find it very interesting to
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> sub-conscious of ours has NO sense of humour and doesn't do sarcasm. It
> just takes what we say or think at face value.

I am a volunteer teaching assistant in computer classes for seniors.
Many of them speak little English.
Some are in their 70's. Yet they came for the classes and the
labs. Slowly but surely they learn how to use the mouse, etc. Eventually
they want to be able to send out e-mails in Chinese. Now I don't know
how to that. (the instructors do know).
It is slow going but they are progressing. I have to be very patient.
The classes are very popular and there is a waiting list.

Winnie
Christine K. - 09 May 2006 20:09 GMT
> I am a volunteer teaching assistant in computer classes for seniors.
> Many of them speak little English.
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> Winnie

My parents have taken computer classes now too. Earlier, when I tried to
teach her stuff during my few and far between visits (they live up by
the west coast and we don't have a car), she often just kept repeating
"I'll never learn this" or "I'll never remember that". I'm really happy
for them that they are taking the classes as they're once a week and
especially intended for seniors (my dad's 71 and my mom 66). The
repetition and the most probably more patient teacher makes a great
difference.

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Jo Firey - 09 May 2006 21:34 GMT
>> I am a volunteer teaching assistant in computer classes for seniors.
>> Many of them speak little English.
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> intended for seniors (my dad's 71 and my mom 66). The repetition and the
> most probably more patient teacher makes a great difference.

Expectation can make a huge difference.  And it is almost always easier for
a non family member to teach this stuff.

My most regular computer correspondent is my eighty year old aunt.  Her
older brother was taking computer classes at the community college when he
was 85.  But it would never occur to either of them that they can't do
anything.

Jo
W. Leong - 09 May 2006 22:50 GMT
> My parents have taken computer classes now too. Earlier, when I tried to
> teach her stuff during my few and far between visits (they live up by the
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> intended for seniors (my dad's 71 and my mom 66). The repetition and the
> most probably more patient teacher makes a great difference.

Yes, some seniors in my classes muttered about so many things to remember.
Purrs for me to have patience as I am normally not a patient person.
We  repeated the same exercies on using the mouse 3 weeks in a row.
By the 3rd week, many still didn't remember doing the exercises
before. At this rate , I don't know when they get around to learn e-mail or
the internet.
But at least they showed up in all the classes and labs.

Winnie
Christine K. - 10 May 2006 04:17 GMT
>> My parents have taken computer classes now too. Earlier, when I tried to
>> teach her stuff during my few and far between visits (they live up by the
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
>
> Winnie

The ppl in my parents' classes are in their 60's and 70's, AFAIK, not in
their 80's. And now that my dad's trying to pull himself out of the
company and leave my brother in charge there, he's really taken an
interest in learning to use the computer together with learning to use
the digital camera we bought him last year for his 70th birthday. He's
also bought Photoshop or some such snazzy photo editing program (myself,
I only use IrfanView, a freeware program) and tinkers about happily on
his photos. Also he's finally starting to realize the magnitude of the
internet. I've tried to caution him to take some of it with a grain of
salt as anyone can upload a website, whether truthful or not.

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W. Leong - 10 May 2006 05:02 GMT
> The ppl in my parents' classes are in their 60's and 70's, AFAIK, not in
> their 80's.

I don't know the ages of all the people in the classes. One woman told me
she
is in her 70's. Some don't have a computer at home.
These classes are for seniors, so I assume they are all over 60 or
65. Some senior centres let you in their classes if you are over 55.
These classes are held in a  Christian non-profit centre where I volunteer.
I have never worked with seniors before, so it is a challenge for me.

Winnie

And now that my dad's trying to pull himself out of the
> company and leave my brother in charge there, he's really taken an
> interest in learning to use the computer together with learning to use the
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> internet. I've tried to caution him to take some of it with a grain of
> salt as anyone can upload a website, whether truthful or not.
Monique Y. Mudama - 13 May 2006 17:02 GMT
>> In any case, if I have to keep avoiding all the interesting food in
>> order to keep my stomach from clenching, perhaps I'll lose an awful
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> interesting to "research" all sorts of veggie/light recipes and
> finding my own way of making them.

That's true.  It's just that figuring out what's bad for me is tricky,
especially when it seems to depend on things like the order in which I
eat foods and what my stress levels are like that day.

Yesterday (Friday) was my first pain-free day in several weeks (months?
it's easy to lose track), until about 5pm, when my tummy started hurting
and continued to ache throughout the night.  I think it's because I made
some bad calls -- I've been eating extremely easy to digest foods all
week, but because I felt better on Friday, I had a fairly fatty chicken
noodle soup cup (I think that was okay) and a large chicken caesar salad
(used so little dressing that you couldn't actually see any difference
in the dressing cup level).  Anyway, I made a point of eating white
bread before the salad, and chewing the salad incredibly thoroughly
before swallowing, but I still think it was too hard to digest for my
intestines.

I'm not sure, though, because the pain didn't start until 2-3 hours
after I finished eating the salad (I stretched the salad-eating across
about two hours, too).

The good news is that on the other end of the digestive process, I
didn't have any D..... at all yesterday!  Again, the first time in
months.

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W. Leong - 13 May 2006 23:12 GMT
> I'm not sure, though, because the pain didn't start until 2-3 hours
> after I finished eating the salad (I stretched the salad-eating across
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> didn't have any D..... at all yesterday!  Again, the first time in
> months.

First time in months? Did you doctor know about this?
You better have this check out because it can be serious.

Winnie, not an alarmist
Monique Y. Mudama - 14 May 2006 04:40 GMT
>> I'm not sure, though, because the pain didn't start until 2-3 hours
>> after I finished eating the salad (I stretched the salad-eating
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> Winnie, not an alarmist

Well, I guess it depends on how you define it, and I'm not going to go
into particulars.  But anyway, I do have a dr's appointment on Monday
to talk about everything that's been going on.

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Kreisleriana - 07 May 2006 19:26 GMT
>>> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
>>> isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 31 lines]
>
>Tweed

Well, you seem to be pretty clear that it is her problem and not
yours.  So you're fine.

Theresa
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My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

Make Levees, Not War
Enfilade - 07 May 2006 03:23 GMT
> Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
> wife said to me was  "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim."  I haven't
> seen her for two years.
> What's that about?

I think that in a culture where slim=attractive, she was trying to
compliment you.  Particularly since people tend to gain weight as they
age.

Lately, my mother makes a lot of comments about me being
unattractive/fat/etc.  I weigh 163 lbs.  She weights 230+.  Teacup,
meet kettle.

I was once seriously ill and plummetted to 128 lbs.  On my frame,
that's underweight (145-150 is my ideal).  My close friends were
concerned by how I looked, but casual acquaintances said I looked
great.  I was all bones.

--Fil
jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@sonic.net - 07 May 2006 03:50 GMT
> I was once seriously ill and plummetted to 128 lbs.  On my frame,
> that's underweight (145-150 is my ideal).  My close friends were
> concerned by how I looked, but casual acquaintances said I looked
> great.  I was all bones.

Perverted, isn't it? I had a friend who went through a severe bout
of uncontrolled epileptic seizures, and had to be hospitalized for 3
weeks in intensive care. During this episode, she lost about 30 lbs,
and she wasn't that heavy to begin with. She looked terrible afterward,
frail, weak, ill (and she *was* all of that). Yet people insisted on
complimenting her on her weight loss. OK, people often don't know what
to say when someone's been very sick, and maybe they thought that would
be a comfort to her. But she found it very annoying. At one point she
held her hands out in front of her, palms up and curved, and moved
them up and down, imitating the two baskets of a scale, while saying,
"Let's see... fat (lifting one hand).... seizures (lifting the other)...
fat... seizures..." like it was a tough decision.

Yeah, some people have pretty warped priorities.

Joyce
Monique Y. Mudama - 07 May 2006 16:51 GMT
> Lately, my mother makes a lot of comments about me being
> unattractive/fat/etc.  I weigh 163 lbs.  She weights 230+.  Teacup,
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> concerned by how I looked, but casual acquaintances said I looked
> great.  I was all bones.

Aren't mothers helpful?

My mom also worries about my weight ... atm I'm 168, and 145-150 would
also be about right for me.  I'm probably shorter than you -- I'm 5'5
-- but I seem to be dense *grin*

I once lost a ton of weight and got down to a size 10.  I happened to
be extremely depressed and fairly out of touch with reality at that
point.  I bought a bunch of nifty clothes, thrilled to be able to wear
them, but several coworkers pulled me aside, worried that I was
anorexic.  When I'm really depressed, I just don't eat.

My mom *is* lighter than me and wears smaller sizes, and yay for her
and all that, she's very proud of it, but she worries me because she's
also fairly sedentary, inflexible, and prone to falls.  She's already
broken her tibia a few years ago ... I would happily have her gain a
few pounds if they were muscle, and I've seriously talked to her about
trying yoga, but because she's so inflexible and has such poor
balance, she won't even go to the classes.  Sigh.  She's exactly the
kind of person who would benefit most from it.

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W. Leong - 08 May 2006 18:47 GMT
> Aren't mothers helpful?
>
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> them, but several coworkers pulled me aside, worried that I was
> anorexic.  When I'm really depressed, I just don't eat.

Same here. I lost weight when I am depressed.
I joked that I even weigh less than some of the large dogs I saw at the
vet's.
I lost weight when I cut back on my sugar intake. My
doctor warned me of becoming diabetic as I have a family history.
I have a sweet tooth, but I manage to cut back..
These days I try to go for a walk before or after I indulge in something
sweet.
I am down to a size 2 petite. I am 5' 3" and barely make it to 100 lb
My doctor is not concerned about my weight though.

Winnie

> My mom *is* lighter than me and wears smaller sizes, and yay for her
> and all that, she's very proud of it, but she worries me because she's
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> balance, she won't even go to the classes.  Sigh.  She's exactly the
> kind of person who would benefit most from it.
sriddles@aol.com - 09 May 2006 01:39 GMT
> Same here. I lost weight when I am depressed.
> I joked that I even weigh less than some of the large dogs I saw at the
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> Winnie

You're exactly the same size as me. One advantage is I can always find
my size on a sale rack, same with shoes. My GP rags on me about weight
sometimes but the cardiologist never does.
I have a terrible self image. It isn't just overweight people who have
a bad self image. I think we all do. Sometimes I get really depressed
and think I look like a crack whore.

Sherry
Sherry
Monique Y. Mudama - 09 May 2006 03:51 GMT
> You're exactly the same size as me. One advantage is I can always
> find my size on a sale rack, same with shoes. My GP rags on me about
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>
> Sherry

Oh, Sherry *hug*

Don't think that!  We all have parts we think could be "better,"
whatever that is.

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polonca12000 - 10 May 2006 22:36 GMT
>>Same here. I lost weight when I am depressed.
>>I joked that I even weigh less than some of the large dogs I saw at the
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> Sherry
> Sherry

Please do not think about yourself in that way, Sherry!
Lots of hugs and purrs,
Polonca and Soncek
dnr - 10 May 2006 22:49 GMT
>> You're exactly the same size as me. One advantage is I can always find
>> my size on a sale rack, same with shoes. My GP rags on me about weight
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> Lots of hugs and purrs,
> Polonca and Soncek

(Snort) From one who has seen lotsa "crack whores" at work,
no way do you faintly resemble one....
No "tracks" on arms/legs, sunken eyes, dark circles under eyes,
smelling bad....sad examples of humanity sunk below radar screen....
Sherry, from what you've posted in binary pics, you got the face
and shape of a young girl - late teenage. You're just a little person
and I bet terribly strong from taking care of all those cows you got.
As you know, I'm deathly afraid of cows.
Enfilade - 11 May 2006 13:11 GMT
> My mom also worries about my weight ... atm I'm 168, and 145-150 would
> also be about right for me.  I'm probably shorter than you -- I'm 5'5
> -- but I seem to be dense *grin*

Nope, I'm 5'5" too.  ATM I'm 163.

But during my illness, I remember someone was sizing me for a bracelet
and had to use "size large".  This comment she made still makes me
laugh:

"I always thought "big boned" just meant fat but there isnt' any fat on
you!"

Way I see it I'm like a truck...you can put a lot of weight (Fat) on
it, you can take all the weight (Fat) off it, but you are NEVER going
to shrink its frame into a sportscar.

--Fil

PS It wasn't depression that made me fat, it was when Effexor made me
sleep all damn day.  When you eat normally, but spend 16+hours a day in
bed, calories catch you fast.
jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@sonic.net - 11 May 2006 17:32 GMT
> PS It wasn't depression that made me fat, it was when Effexor made me
> sleep all damn day.  When you eat normally, but spend 16+hours a day in
> bed, calories catch you fast.

Wow! The drug is supposed to make you feel better, not turn you into
a cat. :)

Joyce
Enfilade - 12 May 2006 02:03 GMT
>  > PS It wasn't depression that made me fat, it was when Effexor made me
>  > sleep all damn day.  When you eat normally, but spend 16+hours a day in
>  > bed, calories catch you fast.
>
> Wow! The drug is supposed to make you feel better, not turn you into
> a cat. :)

Well it did....here's the effect, it was like a sedative for me:

Depressed Fil is wound up with the urge to destroy everything in sight.
Think about being in an adrenaline-fueled blind rage 24/7.

Depressed Fil on Effexor is normal.

Stable Fil without Effexor is normal.

Stable Fil on Effexor is sedated and sleeps all night and all day.

Ever since I quit the stuff I've been okay--well, I've had a few
depressive periods, but for a few hours or a few days I can stand it.
It was the week after week of craving destruction that was too much for
me to handle alone.  I'd go back on Effexor if it ever happens to me
again, but Effexor is just too strong for me to be on it as a
preventative measure.  i've been off it for over a year now.

--Fil
CatNipped - 12 May 2006 14:20 GMT
>>  > PS It wasn't depression that made me fat, it was when Effexor made me
>>  > sleep all damn day.  When you eat normally, but spend 16+hours a day
[quoted text clipped - 23 lines]
>
> --Fil

I've been off of Effexor for about 2 years now and I would *NEVER* go back
on them no matter what!  My withdrawals from that insidious drug was worse
than heroin withdrawal (or so I was told) - I ended up in the emergency room
after three weeks of vomiting, the shakes, and insomnia (they had to stick
me 24 times before they could even find a vein to give me fluids in.

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CatNipped

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Cheryl Perkins - 12 May 2006 14:41 GMT
> I've been off of Effexor for about 2 years now and I would *NEVER* go back
> on them no matter what!  My withdrawals from that insidious drug was worse
> than heroin withdrawal (or so I was told) - I ended up in the emergency room
> after three weeks of vomiting, the shakes, and insomnia (they had to stick
> me 24 times before they could even find a vein to give me fluids in.

You've got to go off most drugs in that category very, very slowly to
avoid such side effects. I knew someone who was taking a similar drug who
was told by her doctor (a GP, not a psychiatrist, but still, he should
have known better) to taper off far more quickly than she should have
done, and she was as sick as a dog. It was winter, too, with bad weather,
and she couldn't get to the ER during the worst of the withdrawal.

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Cheryl

Singh - 12 May 2006 16:44 GMT
I got such a foul reaction to Lithium, except I was still on the nasty stuff. My
body just doesn't process it, and I end up storing it up in my liver and all
those other places that like to stockpile toxins. I got so sick from lithium
toxicity that I too was hospitalised; I was also badly dehydrated and dropped a
boatload of weight because I was in a constant state of nausea. Needless to say
I refuse to ever have the vile thing in my cupboard again, I don't care how bats
I go. The doctor has me on a somewhat effective mix of anidepressants, an
anticonvulsant, diazepam and Strattera; it will never bring me to full
"normalcy," whatever that is, but keep the crazies at bay just enough. He relies
now on a job change, which the slimeballs at HSBC are not accomodating, and
psychotherapy with people with one experienced in dealing with wannabe
Napoleons. Sometimes it doesn't do its full job, I mean the medicine; otherwise
I wouldn't have been in both the heart ward and booby hatch within six weeks of
each other. But it beats the hell out of having multiple mood swings and being
so ADHD I can't work at all.

Blessed be,
Baha

> >>  > PS It wasn't depression that made me fat, it was when Effexor made me
> >>  > sleep all damn day.  When you eat normally, but spend 16+hours a day
[quoted text clipped - 37 lines]
>
> See all my masters at:  http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/
Monique Y. Mudama - 13 May 2006 17:02 GMT
> I got such a foul reaction to Lithium, except I was still on the
> nasty stuff. My body just doesn't process it, and I end up storing
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> six weeks of each other. But it beats the hell out of having
> multiple mood swings and being so ADHD I can't work at all.

*hug*

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Monique Y. Mudama - 13 May 2006 17:10 GMT
> Way I see it I'm like a truck...you can put a lot of weight (Fat) on
> it, you can take all the weight (Fat) off it, but you are NEVER
> going to shrink its frame into a sportscar.

So true.  I told my doctor I wanted to look like the women in the
Title 9 catalogues ... not the traditional model look, but lean and
muscular and, well, not my body type at all.  She assured me that,
with my frame, it just, well, wasn't going to happen.  I could be lean
and muscular, but I still wouldn't look like them.

> PS It wasn't depression that made me fat, it was when Effexor made
> me sleep all damn day.  When you eat normally, but spend 16+hours a
> day in bed, calories catch you fast.

I can't even explain why I gained so much weight.  When I moved to
Colorado, I shot up to something like 180 pounds.  At the time I
wasn't exercising at all, but then, I hadn't been before I moved,
either.

Someone told me that the thinner atmosphere here at altitude makes you
want to eat more, and I think that may be true.

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Suz - 11 May 2006 00:32 GMT
> > Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
> > wife said to me was  "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim."  I haven't
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
>
> --Fil

I thought weight obsession was an American thing. In the 90's due to
health problems I went from being overweight to being underweight. When
I was underweight people told me I was pretty. I felt angry about it
when I was 16-20 something I needed to hear that but at 40 I felt ok
myself but sad for the teen who wanted to be pretty. Now I'm about
average for a non Hollywood person.
Suz
Spicey is purrfect of course.
badwilson - 07 May 2006 03:37 GMT
> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
> much isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> she'll have. ;-)
> Tweed

Heh, maybe she's worried her husband will put on the pounds as he gets
older and since you're related, it's a good sign that you're keeping
slim ;-)
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Britta
Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness
overflow.
Check out pictures of Vino at:
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dnr - 07 May 2006 04:27 GMT
>> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
>> much isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>> What's that about?
>> Tweed

One-word analysis: "Meow"........does this rude relative
know of your fairly recent medical histories?
Christina Websell - 08 May 2006 18:24 GMT
>>> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
>>> much isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> One-word analysis: "Meow"........does this rude relative
> know of your fairly recent medical histories?

Yes, she does.   I don't think she actually *meant* it in a bad way.  I
think as has been said downthread, she thinks that being slim is so
important that it was probably meant as praise.
I guess what I was trying to say was that as I haven't seen them for two
years and during that time I almost died I was taken aback that a comment
about my weight was the *very* first thing said to me.
Not  "hello, how nice to see you after all this time.. "   not  "thank
goodness you seem to getting on well after..."
I didn't let her know I'd noticed, I just said "thanks.."
It was also funny when she said goodbye.  I was just coming down from the
bathroom as they were all saying goodbye so I said "hey, don't go without a
goodbye hug!"  So she hugged me and said  "good luck with your hernia!"  I
replied  "that's the nicest goodbye anyone has ever said to me!!"   All the
rest of the family fell about laughing.
Maybe she is losing that filter between what pops into her mind and what
comes out of her mouth.  She's not that old, only in her early 60's and has
recently retired as a teacher.  I thought it was a little odd also that when
we were all talking together she suddenly said "Oh, excuse me, I have to do
my exercises now but I'll still be listening" and she jumped up, held on to
the back of a chair and started to lift each leg up in turn for about 5
minutes.   Hmmm.

I don't have a problem if she needs to do exercises but I wonder if it was
just me that thought she might have waited for a gap in the conversation or
even until she got home?

Tweed
Monique Y. Mudama - 08 May 2006 19:09 GMT
> Maybe she is losing that filter between what pops into her mind and
> what comes out of her mouth.  She's not that old, only in her early
> 60's and has recently

I don't think my mother's ever had that filter ...

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Christina Websell - 08 May 2006 20:05 GMT
>> Maybe she is losing that filter between what pops into her mind and
>> what comes out of her mouth.  She's not that old, only in her early
>> 60's and has recently
>
> I don't think my mother's ever had that filter ...

My mother didn't have it either.  She has upset all her children at some
point.  I think I've posted this before but two of her most spectacular
non-filters were:  to me  "do you think it would have been better if I'd had
you adopted?"  and to my sister in law on announcing her second pregnancy
"oh, no, not another birthday to buy for.."

Despite that we would all like her back.  We miss her a lot.

Tweed
Monique Y. Mudama - 09 May 2006 03:56 GMT
> My mother didn't have it either.  She has upset all her children at
> some point.  I think I've posted this before but two of her most
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>
> Despite that we would all like her back.  We miss her a lot.

Absolutely.  I love my mother and often despair of being able to tell
her how much she means to me.  But it's also true that she drives me
nuts!

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Christina Websell - 08 May 2006 18:53 GMT
>> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
>> much isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> older and since you're related, it's a good sign that you're keeping slim
> ;-)

I don't think it's that as my uncle is also health conscious and is pretty
slim.  I just think that for some reason over the last 3-4 years it has got
*far* too important to her if weight is the first thing she notices.  I
shan't be encouraging her in this attitude, nor in how proud she is of their
Mercedes.  "Make sure everything is locked, it's a *Mercedes*!!"
This was when I saw them last.  I wish I could learn to shut up sometimes,
but this got my goat.  I found myself saying  "Janet, it's a car.  It isn't
more likely to be stolen around here whatever it is.  I lock my little
*Citroen* too."
Although sometimes I forget and it's still here.  LOL, maybe no-one wants to
steal it!  It's perfect for me.  Low road tax, low insurance, uses very
little petrol and room in the back to carry poultry, cats and a bale of
straw at the same time if the back seats are down.  Who could want for more?
;-)

Tweed
badwilson - 09 May 2006 01:01 GMT
>>> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
>>> much isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 31 lines]
>
> Tweed

Ack, I hate people who are snobby about cars.  It's so pretentious.
People buy cars for all sorts of reasons and not every reason has to do
with how it will impress other people.
In Thailand a car is the ultimate status symbol and we always got bugged
by the Thais for driving such a crappy old car.  But it made no sense to
us to have a new car when as a foreigner the chances of you getting any
money from the insurance in case of an accident are practically nil.
Now that we're in Australia, we've bought a new Toyota Yaris and I just
love it!  It's super good on fuel, I can make it to Perth and back (600
km round trip) on under $50 (Australian) and the back seats fold
completely flat and slide forward, to make a wide open back area that
would hold 2 bikes or all sorts of other stuff.  Sure it's just a little
hatchback and doesn't give us any status sitting in the driveway, but
who the heck cares?  I'm sure we'll have it until the day it dies.
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Britta
Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness
overflow.
Check out pictures of Vino at:
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Shiral - 07 May 2006 06:00 GMT
It's her obsession, not yours.  She probably did mean to compliment
you, as western culture is very thin-oriented, nay thin-obsessed.
Yeah, excessive weight is not healthy, but I find people who are diet
obsessed complete bores.   Probably because they've always had to tell
me all their diet success stories. (yawn!)  Weight has been an issue
for me all my life, probably because my mother has about the same
attitude toward excess weight.  So in part, my body shape is a
subconscious "Sod-off, I won't let you control me" to her. And it's
partially because if something is bad for me, I'm pretty sure to like
it. I either have a lot of self-discipline, or none at all.

Melissa
Monique Y. Mudama - 07 May 2006 17:05 GMT
> It's her obsession, not yours.  She probably did mean to compliment
> you, as western culture is very thin-oriented, nay thin-obsessed.
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> it's partially because if something is bad for me, I'm pretty sure
> to like it. I either have a lot of self-discipline, or none at all.

Bingo!  That's exactly what I'm finding about myself.  My body turns out
to be a subconscious "You're not the boss of me!" statement.  Among
other things, like fear of deprivation and a desire to reward myself.
Unfortunately, it also makes me unhappy, so I really need to address
it.   I need to learn both to love myself and my body, and to eat
responsibly (I guess I don't have a choice about the latter, with the
IBS thing now).  

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W. Leong - 08 May 2006 18:50 GMT
> Bingo!  That's exactly what I'm finding about myself.  My body turns out
> to be a subconscious "You're not the boss of me!" statement.  Among
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> responsibly (I guess I don't have a choice about the latter, with the
> IBS thing now).

I just watched a program on TV where a GI doctor was interviewed by another
doctor  about IBS. He said 70% of IBS patients are women.

Winnie
-L. - 07 May 2006 07:26 GMT
> I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
> isn't.
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>
> Tweed

Some women are completely obsessed with how fat or thin other women
are.  I have a sister who will go out of her way to tell others how big
their butt looks in the pants they are wearing, how they have gotten
"too thin" or a myriad of other personal insults too numerous to list.
I chalk it up to the fact that she is incredibly insecure in her own
self-image and the only way she can make herself feel better is to
imagine how inferior others are to herself.

And people wondered why I used to prefer to hang with guys at work...
-L.
dnr - 07 May 2006 07:54 GMT
> Some women are completely obsessed with how fat or thin other women
> are.  I have a sister who will go out of her way to tell others how big
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> And people wondered why I used to prefer to hang with guys at work...
> -L.

Again may I offer my take on this (OT) *catty* offeriing by
Tweed's inlaw: "Meow"! Do nasty people really need a reason
to be that way?
Give them excuses and they'll continue their rudeness; give
them something to think about right then and there.....and
they may think twice before blatting out comments on your
appearance........mmm?
Flippy - 08 May 2006 09:51 GMT
Speaking about weight, I've never had so many rude comments as when I
recently gained weight (due to medical reasons.)  Some of the comments:

OMG, you're so fat!
(Really, I hadn't noticed...)

Why are you so fat?
(Why are you so rude?)

You should lose weight.
(You should grow a brain...)

I liked you better when you were slim.
(Well, I never liked you at all...)

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now.

Any others?

Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.
Catpage: http://www.flippyscatpage.com
Tish Silberbauer - 08 May 2006 12:24 GMT
and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat *anything*
at all.
(of course I'm bloody sure)

Mostly, though, it's non-verbal "comments" that give me the irrits.  I
don't think people have *any* idea how much they communicate with
body-language.

Tish

>Speaking about weight, I've never had so many rude comments as when I
>recently gained weight (due to medical reasons.)  Some of the comments:
[quoted text clipped - 17 lines]
>Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.
>Catpage: http://www.flippyscatpage.com
jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@sonic.net - 08 May 2006 16:43 GMT
> and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat *anything*
> at all.
> (of course I'm bloody sure)

How about, "do you really NEED that?"

If it's regular food, duh!

If it's a dessert, then no, I don't need it. Nobody needs it! I
WANT it!

Joyce
Monique Y. Mudama - 08 May 2006 17:26 GMT
> and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat
> *anything* at all.  (of course I'm bloody sure)
>
> Mostly, though, it's non-verbal "comments" that give me the irrits.
> I don't think people have *any* idea how much they communicate with
> body-language.

*Goes to get another helping*

*sharp indrawn breath from other person*

"What?"

"Geez, I didn't say anything!  Stop being so sensitive!"

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Flippy - 09 May 2006 01:27 GMT
"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote...
>> and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat
>> *anything* at all.  (of course I'm bloody sure)
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully
> pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

This reminds me of the time I was at my ex's for Christmas dinner. My sister
and her husband were there too, there were about 20 people at the table.
Everyone at the table was asked if they wanted a second helping - except me!
Jeez, how rude!

Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.
Catpage: http://www.flippyscatpage.com
Monique Y. Mudama - 09 May 2006 03:51 GMT
> This reminds me of the time I was at my ex's for Christmas dinner.
> My sister and her husband were there too, there were about 20 people
> at the table.  Everyone at the table was asked if they wanted a
> second helping - except me!  Jeez, how rude!

Ugh.  That's horrible.

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Flippy - 09 May 2006 09:01 GMT
Yes, it was horrible. I was so stunned I couldn't speak.

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Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.
Catpage: http://www.flippyscatpage.com

>> This reminds me of the time I was at my ex's for Christmas dinner.
>> My sister and her husband were there too, there were about 20 people
>> at the table.  Everyone at the table was asked if they wanted a
>> second helping - except me!  Jeez, how rude!
>
> Ugh.  That's horrible.
dnr - 08 May 2006 18:57 GMT
> and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat *anything*
> at all.
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> body-language.
> Tish

>>Speaking about weight, I've never had so many rude comments as when I
>>recently gained weight (due to medical reasons.)  Some of the comments:
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>>Any others?
>>Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.

Exactly! Rude is rude, nosy is nosy (sorry about the "catty", Cheryl,
I enjoy being "catty" myself now & then, don't think of it as "negative")
and I say instead of trying to pseudopsychoanalyze *reasons* for
comments from people (related or not) w/no manners....let 'em have
it. This has zilch to do w/my weight, but example:
Yesterday at Costco (large wholesale warehouse sales chain here):
Strange man behind me in checkout line:
"Do you have a large family?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "Do you own a restaurant?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "Are you going to have a big party?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "I was trying to figure out why you're buying so much
spaghetti & rice & meat.......?"
Me: "Because I only shop here once a month or so."
Strange man: "Why do you only shop here once a month?"
Me: "Because I don't like shopping here (a lie)".
Strange man: "I shop here often....it's fun to shop here."
At this point, employees made a big breakthrough w/baskets and I
*rushed* up, slammed my purchases on the checkout counter and
went as far away from him as I could get. Set a new speed record
hiking up to woman who checks your sales receipt against what
is in your basket, and *hauled a*** quickly to my truck....
My short replies to this guy were admirably restrained (for ME).
They would've been different if he had been of my race.......
Now, as they say, analyze *that*, wannabe therapists of rude people.
And forget analyzing *me*.....I'm just one of those who does NOT
talk to strangers (exception: if they are looking for something in the
store that I know its location).....