I rote this Sych-iatrick kwiz after mush reserch.

1.  You are walking through the forest when you come upon an animal
that is smaller and weaker than you.  What do you do?

A.  Admire its beauty.
B.  Admire its beauty while eating it.
C.  Chase it and bring it back to your master.
D.  Try to catch it, though it'll probably get away.
E.  Slap it around for a while, kill it slowly, and then leave it
unless you feel like a taste.

2.  Where do you sleep?

A.  Beneath your furry masters.
B.  Somewhere soft and warm where you can rest enthroned.
C.  On the floor beside your master's bed.
D.  Somewhere inobtrusive and out of the way.
E.  Wherever the hell you want to, and woe betide anyone in your way.

3.  What do you eat?

A.  A balanced diet of protein, carbs and vegetables.
B.  Kitty Kibble.
C.  Dog Chow.
D.  Garbage and fieldmice.
E.  The souls of the innocent.

4.  When is it okay to jump on the backs of strangers?

A.  Never.
B.  When they're in heat.
C.  When you're excited and happy to see them.
D.  When they're attacking you.
E.  When  it would be fun to bury your fangs in the back of their neck
for no reason beyond your own amusement.

5.  What is your goal in life?

A.  To love, and be loved by, your family.
B.  To be adored by the rest of your household.
C.  To serve your master and make her happy.
D.  To be fed every day.
E.  To bring the Universe to its knees before you.

Tally your score!  What letter do you have the most of?

Results:

Mostly A:  I'm sorry, you are human.  There's no cure for it, but at
least you can have a fulfilling life serving cats.

Mostly B:  Congratulations, you are a cat.  Well done.

Mostly C:  I'm sorry, you are a dog.

Mostly D:  You're a cat, but you're not very good at it.  Work on your
self-esteem.

Mostly E:  You're not a cat.  You're a demon in a little furry coat.
Avoid holy water.

--Fil (and Smokey)