My sentiments as well.
-mhd

That goes both ways, too. People think it is perfectly acceptable (and
even complimentary) to say things like "If you don't gain weight you
are going to blow away" et. etc. After I had surgery I lost a lot of
weight. I got sick of the comments like that. You would *never* say
something like that to someone who needed to *lose* weight, but somehow
they thought criticism of the opposite was okay to say to someone.

Sherry

Thanks for your post, Lori.  It definitely made me think.

I've also often thought that it would be easier not to eat at all than
to eat a restricted diet.

That's probably true, for the most part. I do know people who choose
not to diet, and by doing so, they stay fat. But I'm not convinced that
dieting would make them thin anyway, so it's not really much of a choice
after all. (I'm one of these people, by the way.)

It is a myth that we can control our weight in the long run. Most of
us cannot. We can lose weight in the short run, sure. And that's what
gives us the idea that we control our weight. But for 98% of dieters,
it comes back, often with even more weight.

The real clincher for me is that dieting and regaining, over and over,
is so unhealthy that I think it's better for me to remain at my current
size. I'm not saying there are no risks to being at my weight, but until
there is a SAFE, EFFECTIVE, and PERMANENT way to lose weight, I'm not
doing it anymore. Instead, I'm putting my energy into eating well,
exercising, and taking care of my body in the best way I can. So far,
so good.

Well, frankly, Lori, I don't think you look so bad in the before picture!
It's not a very flattering picture, which has nothing to do with your size.
The picture is blurry, you're not wearing an outfit that flatters your
body as well as another one might, and your haircut in the "after" picture
is much better, too. It's like those weight-loss ads that show before and
after pictures - the before picture always shows the woman in a muumuu and
a bad haircut, looking unhappy, and the picture is blurry and has bad,
unflattering lighting. The after photo always looks clean, crisp, colorful,
and the woman is wearing a great outfit, is made up, and smiling to beat
the band. Well NATURALLY she looks better in the after picture!

Of course, I can't tell you how you *felt* at your higher weight, that's
not something I could know. But I don't think fat equals ugly, so when I
see a fat person, I don't automatically dismiss them as unattractive. It
would take other attributes to turn me off of someone - fat or thin.

However, it's true that most people would not choose to be the object of
prejudice, discrimination, ridicule, rejection, and so forth. So given the
choice, most people would lose weight and keep it off, if they could. So
why can't they? Maybe because biologically, our bodies fight any and all
attempts to lose weight? Your metabolism doesn't know the difference
between chosen and unchosen starvation, after all. And we're still here
on earth because our bodies have evolved ways to keep ourselves from
starving.

What I really can't stand is the moral righteousness people have about
fat people. What is that about? To all who are reading this post: if you
are the kind of person who sneers at a fat person and who believes that
they deserve moral judgement, could you take a few minutes and ask yourself
why you feel the need to make that judgement? What's it to ya, anyway?
Why do you care if a fat person complains about her health, but doesn't
"do anything" about her weight?

My moral values are pretty simple, actually. If a person does something
to hurt another living being, that's morally wrong. If what they're doing
doesn't hurt anyone else, then I make no judgement about it. Sure, I don't
like everyone, and I don't think everyone is beautiful. But that's not a
judgement, that's just me having my own tastes, which we're all entitled
to. I still think you have a right to be whomever you are, whether I like
it or not (which is irrelevant) - as long as you are not doing harm to
another person or other living thing. What you do with your own body,
psyche, spirituality, and life, is truly your business.

No, now they're gun-toting gangstas. Don't assume racism is gone just
because polite white people don't express it openly. I do agree with
you that it's still OK to express fat-hatred openly. But as a white
person, I can't assume that racism isn't getting expressed just because
I don't see it very much. Ask any black person you meet, and you'll hear
about being followed in stores by clerks, stopped on the highway for no
reason at all ("Driving While Black"), people crossing the street when
they see them coming. It's still there, even if it's more hidden than it
used to be.

And this assumes that all fat people eat too much, which is simply not
the case. That is a superficial analysis and ignores the complexity of
the human metabolism.

Which is not to deny that many people do have eating disorders, and I'm
sure that is hell to live with and recover from.

Joyce

Can't snip a word (Bravo!) but will add a comment.  It's not just the
obese who get discriminated against in this manner - it's the
moderately overweight as well.  But I do think the fatter you are, the
worse you get treated.  And let's not forget the double standard when
it somes to sex - fat men are treated a whole lot better in society
than fat women are.

-L.

And remember, if someone's very heavy, then moderate exercise will
get their heart going more than it will for someone who's lightweight.
A heavy person has work harder to move their bodies around.

When I was in my early 30s, I took some medication that caused me to
gain 80 lbs in one year. It was physically traumatic - I ached in every
joint. I suspect that some of the aching was due to something other
than the weight gain, since I also ached in non-weight bearing joints
such as my elbows - but some of it was definitely caused by the sudden
increase of stress on muscles that weren't accustomed to carrying that
much weight.

At first, I didn't exercise much. In fact, I started to feel like I
was disabled - I couldn't even walk one block without the muscles in
my shins burning in pain. I was miserable.

Finally, I started an exercise program. It was extremely gentle at
first - 5 minutes a day of very low-impact dancing. I endured the pain
for the 5 minutes, but didn't push myself any harder than that. But soon,
I was able to do it for 5 minutes without feeling so much pain, so I
increased it to 10 minutes. And so on, until I could work out for 30
minutes (plus 10 minutes on either side for warm-up and cool-down) each
day.

Ever since then, I've been pretty mobile. I think that what I was doing
with the early exercising was building up my weight-bearing muscles so
they could carry me without pain. Now I can walk for miles, I regularly
exercise for 30 minutes at a time (not as often as I would like to be
doing, but not because it hurts or I can't do it - just business and
laziness), and in general can get around pretty well.

You might be right - knees are tricky. You can get bad knees even if
you take care of yourself, and even if you don't weigh that much. But
I think that if your leg and back muscles are weak, your knees are more
likely to take a beating. So it's not a guarantee, but keeping in
shape can improve your odds (as long as you don't overdo it and blow
out your knees!).

Joyce