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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / February 2006Betty's lack of alternatives
I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the middle of winter. She really seemed to have the blahs all the time. Betty has been taking the maximum dose for her current chemotherapy in the hopes that we'll see some reaction. To be honest, the treatment response has been pretty good. Betty's tumor has only about doubled in size since she started on Gemzar. It's been six months since she's been diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma. A quick killer, the normal life expectancy for a cat with this type of cancer is reportedly much shorter. But we've been dosing Betty to a high level of toxicity in the hopes that we could shrink the tumor considerably. I didn't think this was going to happen, and it hasn't happened. Betty's obviously been feeling strained by the treatments. She tries to hide it, but her facade is showing some cracks. When I see that happen, I worry that there must be enormous internal stresses knawing at her. I worry that she'll suffer. I worry that she'll suddenly crumble under the weight of it all. So yesterday, on Valentine's Day, Betty's daddy presented her with a death sentence. I told Betty's oncologist that Betty was under too much stress, and that we need to give up on this dosage. I asked him what alternatives we might have that would give her a break. The oncologist mentioned two alternatives to me. The first is interferon, to bolster the immune system. He said that this tended to produce flu like symptoms, and he didn't think it would affect this type of tumor. He also said that the drug itself, at $1000, was quite expensive, although I told him the cost wasn't a problem - it's only a fraction of what's already been spent on Betty's other treatments anyway. The second idea was direct injection of chemotherapy into the tumor. But again, he didn't think this would work for this tumor. It's been done successfully on fleshy tumors like breast cancers, but is not as practical for bony tumors. It's checkmate. I instructed that Betty be kept on her current chemotherapy, since it seems to be working, but at a lower dosage, to see if we can find a compromise where the tumor's growth is constrained without making Betty feel too ill. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting test. > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. You haven't failed. You have been given an especially tough test. You're doing what you feel is best for her, which is all any parent can do. ((((((((Takayuki and Betty)))))))) Joy > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. ((((((((TAK)))))))))))) You have passed the kitty parenting test with flying colors. Betty is loved. She knows she is loved, and that is far more important than anything else. I don't know *anyone* (and I know a *lot* of cat people)....who ever went to the lengths that you have for that dear little cat, and keeping first and foremost priority her well-being and comfort. Purrs that the low dose is exactly the compromise that you hope it to be. Sherry > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. I'm very sorry you and Betty are going through all this. I know it's difficult to know what is right and we can't ask them what they are willing to do. I had a cat who was supposed to die and didn't know whether to put her through treatments (it wasn't cancer, it was chylothorax). She lived and I am glad I didn't stop but I still wouldn't know what to do in another instance. Please don't think you are failing Betty, though. You are doing much more than most people would and I can tell from all your writings how close Betty feels to you (and vice versa). You are probably doing exactly what she would want since you know her best. I hope it works out for you and Betty. Candace > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. Please don't think that. You have been given a really hard situation to deal with. I think you've done a remarkable amount for her. It's very obvious how much you love her, and how dedicated you've been to her health and happiness. (And how much she adores you, too!) But nobody, no matter how much they love their pet, or how devoted they are, can prevent this kind of illness. It's certainly not your fault. You've had many tough decisions to make, and you still do. And it's clear you've done the very best to give her the best chance of survival, while not compromising her comfort too much. I'm just really sad that this is happening to such a special little girl. It's not fair for it to happen to any cat, but Betty is your first cat, and I know you're crazy about her, and she's just such a sweetheart. I wish I could do something to make that tumor GO AWAY!! :,-( {{{Tak and Betty}}} Joyce You have not failed as a Catdad, but as another first-time catparent I understand your selfdoubt.Unfortunately there are some thing we can't control. Cancer is one of them. You love her so much and know her so well you'll know when she's had enough. Continue to love her and take such care of her. I know you treasure the time you have with her. Please try to not feel guilty. Spicey's still purrin'. Suz&Spicey >I'm just really sad that this is happening to such a special little >girl. It's not fair for it to happen to any cat, but Betty is your >first cat, and I know you're crazy about her, and she's just such a >sweetheart. I wish I could do something to make that tumor GO AWAY!! You might be more upset than I am! Betty and I have lived with this for half a year, and we've been able to largely hold it at bay during that time. Most of the time, we're as we've always been, and the cancer is just a vague background worry. > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. Tak!!!!! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! On the contrary, you have simply done the best by her you can and you have shown and gotten more love than I think you realized one can get and give in many ways! A failed parent is one who doesn't care. I hardly think you qualify for that. I cannot imagine how hard this is, not really, but I know that you are just plain wrong here. I'm so sorry that Betty is not doing well, but she really has done amazingly well. You have had 6 MONTHS more of quality time with Betty. For me, two weeks and phht! I had to let Grant go. I didn't even know it would be the last time I saw him when I left him at the vet. I will forever hate that. We didn't know it was cancer but it was bad and he was already in major surgery and as sick as he was when he went in I knew there was no way he could recover, not with the state the vets saw in his stomach. Not only that but it really IS highly possible I contributed to his type of cancer. Literally. THAT is failed parenting. 6 more months of love and companionship is not failure. I feel TERRIBLE that all I wanted for you is to have a kitty of your own to love instead of just looking in through the window of RPCA and now you have had this terrible experience, but then I think of that post you made, where you actually started talking about your love in a business meeting and I know that you at least know the wonder of what these furballs bring to us. Betty *could* have languished at that shelter. She could have been taken into a home that just wanted any old cat and maybe someone who eventually would have had some reason to "get rid" of her for no reason at all. But for some reason known only to Betty and Bast, YOU were her saviour and you have gone above and beyond what many people would do and you did it because you love. That is not failure. Whatever you do, remember YOU didn't give her cancer YOU do not have the right to claim a "death sentence" on Betty. And do you really think, that if you are there to cuddle her that Betty thinks any such thing? Blame me, blame the universe, but don't you think one minute that you have been a bad parent. I am thinking of you and Betty. Purrs that you feel better and she feels better too. Karen > Tak!!!!! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! <snip> Great post, Karen - you expressed my thoughts well. OK, now I'm crying again... Joyce > > Tak!!!!! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Joyce Mine too.  SignatureSam, closely supervised by Mistletoe > Tak!!!!! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! On the contrary, you have simply done the > best by her you can and you have shown and gotten more love than I think [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > in his stomach. Not only that but it really IS highly possible I > contributed to his type of cancer. Literally. THAT is failed parenting. Please don't think that, Karen. Failed parenting is if you hadn't cared, and no-one could have cared more for Grant than you. But I understand how you're feeling. I feel like I failed both Nikki and Frank in the decisions I made for them. Just last night I had a terrible dream. Both Frank and Nikki were still with me. Nikki was alright, though very skittish. But Frank was very, very old. The black parts of his fur had turned a silvery grey. All his movements were very slow and painful. When I picked him up, he didn't recognize me. I woke up with a huge feeling of loss and sadness. SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. marina (dot) kurten (at) iki (dot) fi Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki >> Tak!!!!! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! On the contrary, you have simply done the >> best by her you can and you have shown and gotten more love than I [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > slow and painful. When I picked him up, he didn't recognize me. I woke > up with a huge feeling of loss and sadness. Oh, I mean, I know in general, but there are things, definitely that were bad parenting with Grant. But yes, I cared and I still care and I am thankful for having had him in my life. But I may have directly influenced the cause of his cancer. Studies prove it. I do not think that there is anything that could be further from the truth for Tak and Betty. It is just hard to love I guess, but the alternative is more dismal than anything. >6 more months of love and companionship is not failure. I feel TERRIBLE >that all I wanted for you is to have a kitty of your own to love [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >meeting and I know that you at least know the wonder of what these >furballs bring to us. I'm trying to hold Betty while writing this. Her chest feels all clammy and damp from her grooming herself! She wants post-shower cuddles. But I don't know what to say. It's true that I did like watching cats and reading about cats. I didn't know how that would translate into owning and being owned by a cat. I just wasn't sure if it was meant to be, but I'm grateful to you and everyone that you made me try. What's more wonderful than wonderful? What's more beautiful than beautiful? That's a cat. That's what I learned. (Someone's being so purry and happy and headbutt-y right now!) > But I don't know what to say. It's true that I did like watching cats > and reading about cats. I didn't know how that would translate into [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > beautiful? That's a cat. That's what I learned. (Someone's being so > purry and happy and headbutt-y right now!) Purring, happy and headbutting? Sounds like someone's happy and loves you very much. No, you didn't fail as a catparent; you made the greatest of successes. You helped build that kind of bond, and Betty deep in her gut knows that. Never think you've failed. Few cats are better loved. Blessed be, Baha >Purring, happy and headbutting? Sounds like someone's happy and loves you >very much. No, you didn't fail as a catparent; you made the greatest of [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >Blessed be, >Baha Ditto (although I hate those "Me Too" posts, Baha said what I was thinking - only better). Tak, it sounds to me like Betty us still having more good moments than bad. None of us are there, but if you decide that's no longer true maybe this will help. (Note, the poem is from http://www.homeranimals.com/rainbow.htm ) IF I SHOULD GROW FRAIL If it should be that I grow frail and weak And pain does keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done for this - the last battle - can't be won. You will be sad, I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand. For on this day, more than the rest Your love and friendship must stand the test. We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go. Take me to where my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me till the end. And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see. I know in time you will agree It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved. Don't grieve that it must now be you Who has to decide this thing to do. We've been so close - we two - these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears. SignatureSteve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit and Spot with loving memories of Rocky (RB) stouchst@JUNKsirinet.net [remove Junk for email] Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html > Tak, it sounds to me like Betty us still having more good moments > than bad. None of us are there, but if you decide that's no longer > true maybe this will help. (Note, the poem is from > http://www.homeranimals.com/rainbow.htm ) It makes me so sad (and angry) that most pet owners understand that quality of life matters, but at least here in the US, it's illegal to do the ultimate kindness for humans. Even if they explicitly request it. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > It makes me so sad (and angry) that most pet owners understand that > quality of life matters, but at least here in the US, it's illegal to > do the ultimate kindness for humans. Even if they explicitly request > it. I'm with you, Monique. In the abstract, anyway. The main reservation I have about it is that, because we have no health care plan to speak of in this country, there are, unfortunately, all too many opportunities for abuse. Can't afford to pay for grandma's long-term health care? Perhaps she'd like to make the ultimate sacrifice to spare her kids and grandkids the burden. Lots of old and sick people would feel internal pressure to do that, let alone being strong-armed by too-poor or simply uncaring relatives. In a world where sick people aren't a burden to their loved ones, then we can talk about a *fair* assisted suicide policy. Unfortunately, we live in a reverse-logic society, where we fight tooth and nail to keep a brain-dead woman on life support, but allow babies to die in shameful numbers because their parents can't afford decent prenatal care. Ahhh... don't get me started!! Joyce > The main reservation I have about it is that, because we have no > health care plan to speak of in this country, there are, [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > let alone being strong-armed by too-poor or simply uncaring > relatives. That's a good, although sickening, point. I hadn't thought of that side. > In a world where sick people aren't a burden to their loved ones, > then we can talk about a *fair* assisted suicide policy. > Unfortunately, we live in a reverse-logic society, where we fight > tooth and nail to keep a brain-dead woman on life support, but allow > babies to die in shameful numbers because their parents can't afford > decent prenatal care. Ahhh... don't get me started!! *sigh* Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca >The main reservation I have about it is that, because we have no >health care plan to speak of in this country, there are, unfortunately, [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >would feel internal pressure to do that, let alone being strong-armed >by too-poor or simply uncaring relatives. It really doesn't matter that there would be abuses. We can't limit the exercise of an inalienable right only to those who will use it wisely. The right to choose includes the right to err. We don't believe that the right to vote should be restricted to those who would never let their vote be determined by emotion or the rhetoric of demagogues. We allow people to choose their own marriage partners, even though they are obviously not thinking clearly at the time, and are quite frequently made miserable by their choices. Ditto for the right to choose one's own employment, or residence, or any number of other choices that an emancipated adult person must make. So must it be with the right to choose the time and manner of our dying. That right is inalienable, and no one may justly interfere with our free exercise thereof. If we make a bad choice, that is also our right. SignatureWayne M. > It really doesn't matter that there would be abuses. We can't > limit the exercise of an inalienable right only to those who > will use it wisely. The right to choose includes the right to > err. I see your point, and from a philosophical point of view, your argument makes a lot of sense. But voting, marriage - really, most choices people make - can be either undone, or there'll be another chance later to do it again and make a better choice. But once you've committed suicide, you don't get the chance to change your mind. So we really should be extremely careful about making sure that people really want to make that choice, and that they're not being pressured by external forces, for reasons that don't have to do with their *intrinsic* quality of life. Especially when staying alive becomes expensive. Once you have a financial motive, there's a risk of corruption. I think it's pretty barbaric to prevent someone who's, say, terminally ill and in intolerable pain, from making the decision to end their life when they want to. It's one of my personal nightmare scenarios that I would be sick, in pain, or extremely disabled, and want to die, but not have the physical capability of doing it, and nobody will help me. We wouldn't do that to our pets, so why should we do it to each other? It's just that we don't always know. Suppose a sick person is not very articulate about what they want, and some not-very-scrupulous family member is speaking for them, and says that the sick person really wants to die - when perhaps they don't, or they're not sure. This gets into a grey area that's a little too close to murder for my comfort. I'm not so concerned about a person making a bad choice (which, since they're dead, they won't "live to regret" anyway). I'm talking about people being coerced into it by those who, say, stand to inherit money, or want to get rid of the burden of taking care of them, or whatever. That's a pretty gross violation of someone's rights, too. Joyce > > It really doesn't matter that there would be abuses. We can't > > limit the exercise of an inalienable right only to those who [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >quality of life. Especially when staying alive becomes expensive. >Once you have a financial motive, there's a risk of corruption. I don't at all deny the risk of corruption and abuse, or of error. We can adopt methods and regulations aimed at reducing such risk, but it will always remain to some degree. Life (and death) is full of risks. As you note below, dying in error actually causes less hardship than living in error. The consequences of a bad decision to marry are far worse than the consequences of a bad decision to die. To me, this means that we need not be any more concerned about a dying decision made under coercion than we should be about any number of life decisions that can be over-influenced by those with vested interests of their own. >It's just that we don't always know. Suppose a sick person is not >very articulate about what they want, and some not-very-scrupulous [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >them, or whatever. That's a pretty gross violation of someone's >rights, too. We're essentially in agreement on the issues here. I'm just concerned to have the underlying human right recognized, before we worry about details of how the freedom to exercise that right may be provided to the individual who chooses while protecting the safety of those who have not yet chosen to die. Advance directives, legal interventions, etc., are all methods that may be used to guard against misunderstandings and abuses. But mistakes can never be reduced to zero -- and yet the right remains. SignatureWayne M. > It's just that we don't always know. Suppose a sick person is not > very articulate about what they want, and some not-very-scrupulous > family member is speaking for them, and says that the sick person > really wants to die - when perhaps they don't, or they're not sure. > This gets into a grey area that's a little too close to murder for > my comfort. Part of this could be addressed via psych evals. I assume (wrongly?) that the "sound mind and body" bit in wills implies that a bequest expressed when not of sound mind doesn't hold up. I wonder if the same is true for death requests. I can certainly imagine a situation in which a suffering person with poor prospects could be interviewed by a mental health professional (or two or more, to address bias). If the experts say that the person is sane, that seems like a pretty compelling argument for accepting their wishes. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca <snip> > I can certainly imagine a situation in which a suffering person with > poor prospects could be interviewed by a mental health professional > (or two or more, to address bias). If the experts say that the person > is sane, that seems like a pretty compelling argument for accepting > their wishes. Mental suffering is now used as reason for euthanasia. So if you are suicidally depressed, you get helped along to death rather than treated - even though treatments are more available and effective than ever, and even though depression also affects reasoning ability. SignatureCheryl ><snip> >> I can certainly imagine a situation in which a suffering person [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > than ever, and even though depression also affects reasoning > ability. Again, you're talking about person X deciding that person Y should die. I'm talking about person Y being allowed to decide that person Y should die. These are two completely different concepts. You've just inspired me to come up with the broad strokes of an interesting short story, though. *ponder* Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > You've just inspired me to come up with the broad strokes of an > interesting short story, though. *ponder* LOL, I was having the same thought!! Joyce - but I don't usually write stories... > > You've just inspired me to come up with the broad strokes of an > > interesting short story, though. *ponder* > > LOL, I was having the same thought!! > > Joyce - but I don't usually write stories... Me neither. I used to think I would be an author, but I rarely try to write anymore. I have real trouble with plots ... In a lot of ways, short stories are my favorite form of literature. In a single page, or ten, you can explore wonderful ideas that wouldn't fill a book. I have (and have had, off and on, since I was a preteen) a subscription the The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. I don't like every single story, but almost all of them make me see the world in a slightly different way. They have a lot of fresh blood, but also a lot of well-known f/sf authors. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca Hey guys, let's change the name of the thread or somthing. This isn't fair to Tak. :( > In a lot of ways, short stories are my favorite form of literature. > In a single page, or ten, you can explore wonderful ideas that > wouldn't fill a book. I agree. Also, I have a short attention span. :) > I have (and have had, off and on, since I was a preteen) a > subscription the The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. I really like that magazine! I also don't like every story, but I've read a bunch of really good ones recently. Someone gave me about 5 of them (a Freecycle give-away) and there were quite a few good ones in the bunch. Joyce > > In a lot of ways, short stories are my favorite form of > > literature. In a single page, or ten, you can explore wonderful > > ideas that wouldn't fill a book. > > I agree. Also, I have a short attention span. :) Haha! I definitely don't have a short attention span when it comes to books -- a lot of my favorites are series of huge novels. But I still enjoy a short story. I think it's also harder, in some ways, to craft a meaningful short story than a meaningful novel, and I respect that. Packing characters, setting, etc into just a few pages is prett yamazing. > I really like that magazine! I also don't like every story, but I've > read a bunch of really good ones recently. Someone gave me about 5 > of them (a Freecycle give-away) and there were quite a few good ones > in the bunch. I have a collection of them that spans two bookshelves. I am kicking myself for the college years, when I felt that I couldn't afford the measley subscription cost. Eventually I hope to collect all of them, at least between the first one I ever bought and now. I think the magazine itself started in the 50s. ... er, close, 1949: http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/ Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > I have a collection of them that spans two bookshelves. I am kicking > myself for the college years, when I felt that I couldn't afford the > measley subscription cost. Eventually I hope to collect all of them, > at least between the first one I ever bought and now. > http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/ Ohhhhh, I want it!! But I really am too broke for that right now. I will definitely consider it once I'm working again. I don't mind, I'm not a collector and it's not important to me to have them all, but I would just like to read them. I wonder if my library carries it? Hmm... Joyce > It really doesn't matter that there would be abuses. We can't > limit the exercise of an inalienable right only to those who > will use it wisely. The right to choose includes the right to > err. Is it a right? The term 'right' is used to mean anything from natural rights as defined by the philosophers to any right with a lobby group big enough to get it written into law somewhere. <snip> > So must it be with the right to choose the time and manner of > our dying. That right is inalienable, and no one may justly > interfere with our free exercise thereof. If we make a bad > choice, that is also our right. On what basis do you claim that a right to choose the time and manner of your dying? How *can* you claim as a 'right' something that is almost always determined by something outside your control - a wayward microbe or cancer, a moment's carelessness on the part of another driver, simple bad luck in being in the spot that happens to be hit by a tornado? SignatureCheryl >> It really doesn't matter that there would be abuses. We can't >> limit the exercise of an inalienable right only to those who [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >rights as defined by the philosophers to any right with a lobby group big >enough to get it written into law somewhere. Yes, it's a natural right of the type that Jefferson assumed to be self-evident and inalienable. It's a necessary corollary to the right to life. Just as the right to live in a "free country" necessarily includes the right to leave that country if we choose, the right to be in control of one's own life must mean that one has the right to end that life at a time and in a manner of one's choosing. >> So must it be with the right to choose the time and manner of >> our dying. That right is inalienable, and no one may justly [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >cancer, a moment's carelessness on the part of another driver, simple bad >luck in being in the spot that happens to be hit by a tornado? A right to do something does not assume the *ability* to accomplish it. One may have the legal right to collect a certain debt, and yet have no hope of ever seeing that debt paid. When we say that people have an inalienable right to life we do not mean that they are necessarily going to be able to assert that right against the universe; in fact we know that despite this right to life we are all going to die. But someone who is murdered nevertheless had the right to live, and someone who is enslaved nevertheless has the right to be free. The right to die is one that we wish to assert most typically against the interference of the state. At present here in the USA, only Oregon affords its residents the freedom of choice to die or to employ an agent to help them to die, and then only in restricted circumstances. The rest of us have the right, but not the freedom. SignatureWayne M. > Yes, it's a natural right of the type that Jefferson assumed to > be self-evident and inalienable. It's a necessary corollary to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > mean that one has the right to end that life at a time and in a > manner of one's choosing. Those rights are mere inventions - useful enough legal fictions, but nothing more. And that extending the right to life to include the right to death is going far beyond the intention of those who came up with the idea of a right to life. <snip> > The right to die is one that we wish to assert most typically > against the interference of the state. At present here in the > USA, only Oregon affords its residents the freedom of choice to > die or to employ an agent to help them to die, and then only in > restricted circumstances. The rest of us have the right, but > not the freedom. You do not have the right because your legislature has not created it. The right does not exist otherwise. And given the extreme risks such a right poses to the most vulnerable members of society, I would hope the rest of your legislatures do not follow that of Oregon. SignatureCheryl > You do not have the right because your legislature has not created > it. The right does not exist otherwise. And given the extreme risks > such a right poses to the most vulnerable members of society, I > would hope the rest of your legislatures do not follow that of > Oregon. Rights are separate from legislation. A government may condone slavery; that doesn't mean that humans don't have the right to freedom. I see all of your points, but I disagree. There are plenty of other ways for evil people to screw over the vulnerable. At least give a suffering person the right to end that suffering. Forcing someone to live in pain when all they want is to end it, that is evil. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > Rights are separate from legislation. A government may condone > slavery; that doesn't mean that humans don't have the right to > freedom. That's one view of rights. I hold another one. > I see all of your points, but I disagree. There are plenty of other > ways for evil people to screw over the vulnerable. At least give a > suffering person the right to end that suffering. Forcing someone to > live in pain when all they want is to end it, that is evil. And altering society so that the most vulnerable people are at increased risk of murder, however legal and well-meaning, is evil. SignatureCheryl > It makes me so sad (and angry) that most pet owners understand that > quality of life matters, but at least here in the US, it's illegal to > do the ultimate kindness for humans. Even if they explicitly request > it. That's far too open to abuse. I don't want to have some doctor or nurse decide that my quality of life isn't good enough, and therefore I should be helped along to the grave - and that happens *now* when it's still considered murder. And I certainly don't want me or anyone else going through severe depression - even severe depression resulting from the knowledge I have a painful and fatal illness - to have my suicidal ideas received with 'why not?' and an overdose from my next of kin or nurse. Suffering is part of life, and there are better ways to deal with it than to resort to suicide or murder. SignatureCheryl >Suffering is part of life, and there are better ways to deal with it than >to resort to suicide or murder. Suffering is a as much a part of life for our pets as it is for us. Does that mean we should always choose to prolong that suffering? Sometimes we decide that there is *not* any better way to deal with suffering than to end it. Why should we consider it proper and desirable to actively put an end to the suffering of a pet, and then insist that humans are not entitled to the same consideration? SignatureWayne M. > Suffering is a as much a part of life for our pets as it is for > us. Does that mean we should always choose to prolong that [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > suffering of a pet, and then insist that humans are not entitled > to the same consideration? Humans and animals are different in nature and understanding. And the issue is not always one of consideration. There are people who call for putting and end to the 'suffering' of a blind or three-legged cat, or a disabled or dying human out of their own inability to deal with the sight of disability or suffering rather than out of their claimed consideration for the sufferer. SignatureCheryl >Humans and animals are different in nature and understanding. As long as we retain that superior understanding, it is our right to make the death-now-or-death-later decision for ourselves, and that right should be respected, whichever way we make it. If we are reduced by disease and suffering to a point where our understanding is no longer superior to any other animal's, then, like our pets, we need those who retain human understanding to assume the burden of decision. > And the >issue is not always one of consideration. There are people who call for >putting and end to the 'suffering' of a blind or three-legged cat, or a >disabled or dying human out of their own inability to deal with the sight >of disability or suffering rather than out of their claimed consideration >for the sufferer. Certainly. Before reading some of the remarkable stories here on RPCA, I would never have guessed that a totally blind cat, or one that lost a limb, would be able to achieve good quality of life. But the fact that I would have made a wrong decision in such a case doesn't persuade me that no one should ever have the right to euthanize a pet. Similarly, there are cases where an attempt is made to have someone committed to a mental institution for financial gain or to save the family embarrassment. Yet there are many more times when it is quite necessary or advisable to have someone so committed. We don't disallow the action in the necessary cases just because of a few unreasonable attempts. Abuses and errors are inevitable, but they don't effect the underlying rights and wrongs. SignatureWayne M. > As long as we retain that superior understanding, it is our > right to make the death-now-or-death-later decision for [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > animal's, then, like our pets, we need those who retain human > understanding to assume the burden of decision. That is a reductionist view of humanity, which I obviously do not agree with. > Similarly, there are cases where an attempt is made to have > someone committed to a mental institution for financial gain or [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > are inevitable, but they don't effect the underlying rights and > wrongs. We will not agree on human nature nor on the nature of the abuses and risks - you are dismissing as mere risks and abuses certain murder to be accepted as the price of acknowledging what you believe is a right. All these arguments, whether they come from Oregon or the Netherlands, are extremely familiar. They first became widely accepted when the eugenics movement swept the Western countries many years ago, starting with sterilization of the poor and ending up with murder - euthanasia without consent of anyone. That's already happening again in the Netherlands. Your so-called 'right', unlike a right to life, or association, or vote, guarantees the deaths of the most helpless people in society; those labelled by experts as useless and suffering. And it sweeps those murders under the carpet as mere 'risks' and 'abuses'; as though they were of no greater consequence than swatting flies. I find that offensive. You have a right to your opinions - that right I'll recognize - but I cannot let them go unchallenged. This 'right to die' stuff has been tried already! Let's not go backwards. SignatureCheryl > All these arguments, whether they come from Oregon or the > Netherlands, are extremely familiar. They first became widely > accepted when the eugenics movement swept the Western countries many > years ago, starting with sterilization of the poor and ending up > with murder - euthanasia without consent of anyone. That's already > happening again in the Netherlands. Could you please provide some references? I wasn't aware of anything like this going on in the netherlands; I would like to read more. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > Could you please provide some references? I wasn't aware of anything > like this going on in the netherlands; I would like to read more. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/background_briefings/euthanasia/331270.stm http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p950427.html http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,170812,00.html SignatureCheryl >> Could you please provide some references? I wasn't aware of anything >> like this going on in the netherlands; I would like to read more. > > http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/background_briefings/euthanasia/331270.stm > http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p950427.html > http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,170812,00.html I don't want to participate in this discussion - I'm too ambivalent, but I wanted to make just one observation. I never could understand the role "Dr. Kevorkians" have to play in "assisted suicides". My doctor prescribes me 60 Ambien every month, along with 90 Flexerils, for my fibromyalgia. I really don't need anybody else's help if I wanted out of this life, I'd just have to wait for my next refill. Unless somebody is totally paralyzed, couldn't they just swallow a handful of pills and eliminate the middle man? SignatureHugs, CatNipped See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/ > I don't want to participate in this discussion - I'm too ambivalent, > but I wanted to make just one observation. I never could understand [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Unless somebody is totally paralyzed, couldn't they just swallow a > handful of pills and eliminate the middle man? Well, not everyone has that kind of prescription going on ... I think it would be a bit suspicious if I waltzed into my dr's office and asked for a month's worth of sleeping pills ... If I wanted to kill myself, I certainly wouldn't take a handful of what *is* available in my medicine cabinet -- NSAIDs. Kidney and liver failure don't sound much fun, and what if you don't die? Then you're alive, in horrible pain, and not legally allowed to pull the plug on yourself ... Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca >> I don't want to participate in this discussion - I'm too ambivalent, >> but I wanted to make just one observation. I never could understand [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > you're alive, in horrible pain, and not legally allowed to pull the > plug on yourself ... No, maybe not your doctor, but I can find 5 doctors in my neighborhood that will hand out amphetemines to 90 pound anorexics!!! It's not too hard to find a quack to give you whatever you want. But you're right, I'd definitely do the research to find out which drug would do the job and then do it when I was *sure* I wouldn't be found in time. SignatureHugs, CatNipped See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/ >>> I don't want to participate in this discussion - I'm too ambivalent, >>> but I wanted to make just one observation. I never could understand [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > would do the job and then do it when I was *sure* I wouldn't be found > in time. Yes, but most people who would be in a state of severe pain and suffering and wanted to end it all because of it, wouldn't be in a position to go around and gather the meds from various doctors. Such people are usually housebound. So if you can't convince a friend or relative to get the meds for you, you're screwed. I guess you could plan ahead and always keep a suicide "stash" somewhere in your home, but that's going a bit far, IMO. SignatureBritta Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow. - Anonymous Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > > Could you please provide some references? I wasn't aware of anything > > like this going on in the netherlands; I would like to read more. > http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/background_briefings/euthanasia/331270.stm > http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p950427.html > http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,170812,00.html SignatureTo reply privately, take the X's out of my user ID. >> Could you please provide some references? I wasn't aware of >> anything like this going on in the netherlands; I would like to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p950427.html > http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,170812,00.html Thank you for the links. They didn't show what I expected to read, though (fortunately). > All these arguments, whether they come from Oregon or the > Netherlands, are extremely familiar. They first became widely > accepted when the eugenics movement swept the Western countries many > years ago, starting with sterilization of the poor and ending up > with murder - euthanasia without consent of anyone. That's already > happening again in the Netherlands. I (reasonably, I think) interpreted that to mean that the Netherlands are now doing things like sterilizing the poor. The links you showed do point to concerns that need to be addressed, but it's nothing like applying eugenics to decide who should get prolonged treatment of a terminal illness and who should die. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > Similarly, there are cases where an attempt is made to have someone > committed to a mental institution for financial gain or to save the [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > unreasonable attempts. Abuses and errors are inevitable, but they > don't effect the underlying rights and wrongs. Yup. It's terrifying to me that you could find yourself in a mental institution and not be allowed to leave. Wayne, I have to say that I agree with much of what you posted. It leaves me little left to say, which is a good thing =) Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > Humans and animals are different in nature and understanding. Every time someone makes an assertion about the way in which humans are different from "animals" (of course, we're animals too), someone goes and disproves it. Making and using tools. Recognizing self in mirror. Language. Synthesis of knowledge. Experience of pain. Experience of emotion. Self sacrifice for member of another species ... After all of that, I don't think a statement like "humans and animals are different" can be made without significant explanation. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > There are people who call for > putting and end to the 'suffering' of a blind or three-legged cat, or a > disabled or dying human out of their own inability to deal with the sight > of disability or suffering rather than out of their claimed consideration > for the sufferer. It is not for me to call for the end of someone else's life, nor for anyone else to call for the end of my life. But if I should want to end my own life, that should be my prerogative. Joyce > It is not for me to call for the end of someone else's life, nor for anyone > else to call for the end of my life. > But if I should want to end my own life, that should be my prerogative. We are talking about other people ending it for you - which entails setting up the kind of laws that have been and are now abused. SignatureCheryl >> It is not for me to call for the end of someone else's life, nor >> for anyone else to call for the end of my life. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > We are talking about other people ending it for you - which entails > setting up the kind of laws that have been and are now abused. We weren't, not originally. At least, I wasn't, and I'm the one who started this subthread. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca >> if I should want to end my own life, that should be my prerogative. > We are talking about other people ending it for you - which entails > setting up the kind of laws that have been and are now abused. Actually, we're talking about both. We're talking about situations where someone is clearly saying he or she wants to die, and we're also talking about people who are speaking for someone else who is not in a position to speak for themselves - people with dementia or severe mental illness, babies, etc. I understand the concern about people who want assisted suicide because they're depressed, or grieving, or have disabilities they don't want to live with anymore, etc. It's a shame when someone commits suicide while depressed, when they might have gone on to heal from it, or receive effective treatment, etc. Still, if they and they alone are making that decision, I think they should be able to act on that choice (legally speaking), mistake or not. I'm not completely against laws that protect people from themselves, but I do question them. I am far more concerned with people who can't speak for themselves. This is a situation of protecting people from the potential abuse of *others* and is therefore a different situation. I also appreciate that sometimes you can't tell which consition is operating in a given situation - is someone truly making the decision for themselves, or are they caving into pressure from others? Joyce > It makes me so sad (and angry) that most pet owners understand that > quality of life matters, but at least here in the US, it's illegal > to do the ultimate kindness for humans. Even if they explicitly > request it. I do feel this way, but I apologize for hijacking Tak's thread with a topic so emotionally charged. I should have started a different thread. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. You have done no such thing. You have been the best kitty parent anyone could be. Many purrs and hugs for you two. SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. marina (dot) kurten (at) iki (dot) fi Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki >> Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. >> Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting >> test. You have not failed. You are the best kitty parent that ever was, and Betty knows how much you love her. She has had the best life anyone in her situation could ever have. Never feel like a failure. Jane - owned and operated by Princess Rita What more could you have done for Betty? I can't think of anything. I can't imagine she could either. Poor baby. Purrs that she feels better soon. Tak, you have not failed this parenting test! Cancer's cancer and no amount of good parenting can change that. You are doing your best for Betty. You know her so well, I'm sure you will know when the time comes to stop treatments and send her to the RB. But you have given her a wonderful life, doted upon her in a way that few cats are doted upon, and I'm sure she knows that and loves you very much. Hugs and purrs, SignatureBritta "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. *delurke YOU HAVE NOT failed, you love and you do the best given what you know, this can never be considered failure, Lee*relurke > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. >*delurke YOU HAVE NOT failed, you love and you do the best given what you >know, this can never be considered failure, Lee*relurke I think you should delurk some more. :) > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. {{{{{{{{{{{{{Tak}}}}}}}}}}}}} You've done everything you could, and more for Betty. Sadly I think the time is aproaching when you'll have to let her go. :-( Purrs that she still has some happy days ahead of her. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera) A House is not a home, without a cat. http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk >I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's >been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] >Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting >test. {{{Tak and Betty}}} You have done your best, Tak. Even in human treatment, it sometimes comes a time when you have to say enough. My cousin did that this last year. She had cancer, and then got an infection that they could not control. She decided that it was time, and she left. :'( She is still around, though. Weird things keep happening, and you can feel her prescence. Do you have a photo of Betty? I don't ever think I have seen one. It makes it easier for me to send purrs and prayers directly to her if I have seen a photo. Thinking of you, Patti >{{{Tak and Betty}}} > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >makes it easier for me to send purrs and prayers directly to her if I >have seen a photo. How unusual that your cousin's presence remains! I do have some pictures of Betty here: http://mywebpages.comcast.net/Takayuki9z/ Tak, I am deliberately not reading anybody else's response to this post as I want this to be just all mine. I know you love Betty with all your heart, but reading all this I think you are asking too much of her. A little thing like her should not suffer unduly, and all the treatments I think are making her suffer. Please think about it real well. Let her go. Betty will be at the RB where all of our lovely furbabies have gone. She will be at peace, she will no longer suffer and you will no longer suffer seeing her suffer. Lydia SignatureIrulan from the stars we come to the stars we return from now until the end of time >I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. >Tak, I am deliberately not reading anybody else's response to this post as I >want this to be just all mine. I know you love Betty with all your heart, [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >longer suffer and you will no longer suffer seeing her suffer. >Lydia Betty is still okay. She's usually pretty perky if she's gotten her rest. I'm not ready to let go of her yet, but what I have let go of is the hope that she can be cured. I'm not letting go of her yet because she's currently mostly stressed from the chemo, not directly from the cancer. >I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. {{{{{{{{{{Tak and Betty}}}}}}}}}} Tak, you are giving yourself too much credit in your power to change what is. You didn't cause Betty's illness and you've done more than most people could have, or even would have, to make sure your baby is both treated for her cancer and comfortable with her treatment. I know how powerless you're feeling right now, and that's hard to deal with. When we see our loved ones suffer we want to have the power to take away that suffering. Sometimes, however, all we can do instead is lend our support and love in helping our loved one deal with their suffering. I also know you can't take away someone's depression just by telling them to feel better about themselves, so here we sit, hurting for you, and just as helpless as you to take away a friend's pain. All we can do is give you a place to come and talk about your pain and share it with us in the hopes of making it more bearable. SignatureHugs, CatNipped See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/ >I also know you can't take away someone's depression just by telling them to >feel better about themselves, so here we sit, hurting for you, and just as >helpless as you to take away a friend's pain. All we can do is give you a >place to come and talk about your pain and share it with us in the hopes of >making it more bearable. Thank you CatNipped. I remember asking people here what depression is like, and I don't think that what I'm feeling is depression, but sadness. I also feel my mind relentlessly sorting out priorities, creating little strategies, sifting information, planning, trying to optimize an approach for treating Betty. I'm not sure what this particular vaguely irritating emotion would be called - plottingitis? >I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's >been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] >Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting >test. Don't know what to say now except ((((((((((((((Tak and Betty))))))))))))))))))) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War > It's been six months since she's been diagnosed with squamous cell > carcinoma. A quick killer, the normal life expectancy for a cat with > this type of cancer is reportedly much shorter. Think of where Betty would be without you. Probably already PTS, never having been loved by anyone. Six months of love and happiness is already a major victory. Purrs and prayers. --Fil > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. No, Tak, you have been passing the tests with flying colors! There is no doubt that without the treatments Betty would have crossed the Rainbow Bridge by now. And I'm sure she knows that she is loved and cared for, and if she really truly felt that it was time to go she would find a way to let you know. She will, Tak, really - she will make it clear to you when she decides it's time to move on. I know it's hard when our furred ones are ill. When Harri Roadcat got so sick a few months ago I would gladly have traded places with her. The best we can do is try to manage their illness as effectively as we can, and it certainly sounds like that is what you are doing. Betty knows that you are fighting for her, Tak. Dan >I know it's hard when our furred ones are ill. When Harri Roadcat got so >sick a few months ago I would gladly have traded places with her. The best >we can do is try to manage their illness as effectively as we can, and it >certainly sounds like that is what you are doing. What I remember is that big scary tube sticking out Harri's side. You're brave to have taken a picture of that. Or for that matter, wanting to trade places! It is hard, but it's hard to explain - it makes sense. > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. {{{Tak}}} You've been under so much strain making all these decisions for Betty and trying to do the right thing. I know that you must question yourself at times - its only natural when you care about her so much. BUT, nobody has a crystal ball and can tell you what will end up being the exact right thing at the exact right time. In the meantime, you're doing such a super job of being sensitive to Betty and trying to make decisions in her best interest. You can't possibly do any better than that. She's lucky that she has you and I know that you have been graced by her presence as well. I can't help but remember us all encouraging you to adopt a cat and all of us being so excited when you finally brought Betty home. You've had such a beautiful connection with Betty. The strength of that connection makes all of this even harder to bear I'm sure. Take good care Tak and please say hi to Betty from my gentle angelic boy, Chester. I'll rev up his purr motor for her. Susan M Otis and Chester >I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's >been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] >Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting >test. {{{{Tak}}}} You're not failing; you're listening to the experts and trying to do what you think is right for Betty. And that is all you can do. I'm sorry she isn't doing better. Cancer is a nasty thing, and in the end, it usually wins. I've been through it, including chemo, for several of my furkids. Even though I feel I made the wrong decision sometimes, I know I did the best I could given what I knew at the time, and, again, that is all you can do. Be gentle with yourself; I know it has to be hard to go through this with your sweet Betty. Purrs for Betty and for you. Ginger-lyn Home Pages: http://www.moonsummer.com http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website) <snip> > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. Please do not think for a minute that you are not a wonderful parent to Betty. You have done everything possible in this world to try to save her. By taking her from the shelter you have given her a life filled with love and happiness. You have made sure that every minute of Betty's life is special. You are both in our thoughts. Lots and lots of gentle hugs and purrs, Polonca and Soncek ...> > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. Tak, If I were a cat, I'd put you at the top of the list of people I'd choose for a parent. Annie Tak, You have been a good friend and cat slave to Betty. You have enjoyed loving each other and have done everything you can to help her through this terrible disease. Once you have done everything you can to try to cure it, you need to accept the inevitable. I hope the modified treatment will help Betty to have many good days yet to spend with you and when she is ready to go I hope you are blessed with the courage to help her over Rainbow Bridge if necessary. You have not failed as parent, this is all a part of life and something everyone has to go through in one way or another. Betty has had a happy home with you and the best care possible. It hurts when our loved ones pass on, but they add so much to our lives that it is worth bearing the pain of parting. I hope that you will adopt another kitty when the time comes that you are ready. You are a wonderful cat slave and there are so many that need to be loved and cared for. Purrs, hugs, prayers, and positive thoughts for both of you. Debbie dberry@mitre.org > I posted yesterday about Betty being a bit lethargic lately. She's > been losing weight steadily too, and shedding like crazy - in the [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. > Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm killing Betty or saving her. I have been in the same mindset as this several times when I have pursued what could be called "aggressive" veterinary treatment for my dogs to try and save them if there was a chance it might work. I know that I could not have lived with myself if I had not tried every treatment possible that the vet told me might be useful. If the options run out then so be it. Everything that could have been has been done. > Betty is my first cat. So far, I seem to have failed this parenting > test. Oh, please don't say that, Tak. It breaks my heart. You have not failed any parenting test, what on earth makes you think so - except your despair? You have done everything possible for Betty, it's just that cancer can strike any animal or human at any stage of their life, and sometimes it isn't possible to cure it. It struck me last year. It's indiscriminate. May you have a while yet with your beloved cat. You will know when it's time to say goodbye. You might wonder how, not having had a cat before but you *will* know. Trust me on this. Purrs will still continue for you both. Tweed KFC, BF > I know that I could not have lived with myself if I had not tried every > treatment possible that the vet told me might be useful. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Purrs will still continue for you both. > Tweed Tweed is right on all counts. I am unable to tell you anything that will make you feel better, Tak.....but do you remember a short video you took a long time ago, when you and Betty had not been together for very long yet? Over time, I watched it so many times I can play it in my head (lost it when I replaced my PC with a new one) and Betty was playing and running around what I remember as a new scratching post or cat tree, but I could be wrong on that. You were talking to Betty the whole time and I always thought Betty was very lucky to have a daddy like you....you've given her more than the best of care and love during her life; she knows how much you love her, no matter what happens. If you have any knowledge of what a hoomin hospice care facility is, I hope sincerely you are able to consider you are now giving Betty hospice care for her comfort....and no way a "death sentence". My hope is that the Supreme Being of your choice, even if it is The Universe, will ease your mind during the time to come. |
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