Annoyed with a friend (TW-ish)

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jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@sonic.net - 13 Feb 2006 08:10 GMT

This post contains some parts that are sad to read, but mostly this
is about an ongoing issue (ie, disagreement) I have with a friend and
her irresponsibility with her dog.

This friend of mine has had her dog for about 7 years. He's a wonderful
dog and I'm pretty attached to him. My issue is with the fact that she
often lets him off his leash in areas where I think it's not appropriate.
She used to walk him off-leash all the time, in the middle of an urban
area. These walks were almost always late at night, so it's not like
there were a lot of people around. But he liked to chase cats, and would
sometimes go off running after them. She thought that was just fine,
that he was having his doggy fun, and that no-one was harmed by it.

Then he started having a number of encounters with cats that usually went
badly for him (scratches, including one that was bad enough to require
vet care). One time, he almost got himself killed chasing a cat across
the street, and getting hit by a car. (That required serious veterinary
treatment.) But sometimes it goes badly for the cat. About a year ago,
he killed one, right in front of my friend.

After that happened, she swore she wouldn't let him off his leash
anymore. But she wasn't very diligent about it, and would sometimes
be too lazy (or perhaps, didn't want to "restrict his freedom"), so
she'd take him out and let him run free. He is mostly well-trained and
obeys my friend's commands, but when he sees a cat, he can't control
himself - or, more to the point, my friend can't control him.

Anyway, since the first cat killing, he's had another run-in with a
cat, that time getting scratched up himself. Then, a few weeks ago, my
friend told me that her dog had once again killed a cat (in front of
her). Her excuse: "It was right in my neighborhood, I didn't think it
would happen so close to home." HUH? A dog is supposed to understand
this?

And she still lets him out when she goes to her car or does some
other thing in her yard, etc. He'll wander one or two houses up the
street. And today, she told me that he had gotten scratched up by
yet another encounter with a cat.

I told her that I thought she was being really irresponsible and that
she couldn't keep letting him get out without a leash. She said that
she was unwilling to keep him inside when she went out in the yard. So
I said, "then put him on the leash." Her: "That's too much trouble
for just a few minutes of being outside." She just refused to budge
on this. I said, "Next time he might kill a cat that's someone's pet,
and that person is going to be just as heartbroken as you would be if
your dog was killed." That gave her pause, but I don't think it changed
her mind. She actually said she'd feel "horrible" if he killed another
cat, but apparently, not horrible enough to make sure he can't ever do
it.

I don't know what do to at this point. I've given her all the arguments
I can think of, and she's unwilling to change her mind. She feels that
if people let their cats out, then they're irresponsible, too. I think
that's blaming the victim. Maybe one can't control what other people do,
but she could certainly choose to be responsible with her own dog.

And I'm not blaming her dog - he's just being a dog. He's not vicious -
he's a wonderfully socialized animal who is mostly well-trained and
obedient. It's just this one area where my friend is unable to control
him through commands, and is unwilling to make sure he's always on a
leash when outside.

Any opinions, suggestions, etc? Am I being unreasonable? Or is she?

Thanks,
Joyce