May I rant again? (sorry, OT)

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jmcquown - 12 Feb 2006 20:40 GMT

My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance license.
*YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state hasn't sent me my
license yet. No, there's nothing I can do to get it any faster. It hasn't
even been two weeks since I took the exams. The company that gives the
exams has to send the paperwork to the state along with my money and the
test results (and everyone elses). That probably took them a couple of
days.

I don't know what to do to make him understand (1) we're dealing with
government bureaucracy; (2) I'm not the only one who is waiting for a
license.

He just called and suggested I drive 3-1/2 hours to Nashville to pick up my
license! Uh, Dad, I can't just walk in there and say "give me my license".
They may not have even processed the paperwork yet!

He doesn't understand, this is not the way things work. I have *not* told
him I'm going to meet up with my LLL next week because that would really set
him off. Not that my license arriving in the mail in the meantime is going
to mean I have an instant job, but he seems to think so. (sigh)

Meanwhile, my resume is updated and posted on several job hunting web sites.
I've applied for a couple of jobs. I don't know what else he thinks I can
do. I've been telling him all along my getting this license is not MAGIC.

Jill

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sriddles@aol.com - 12 Feb 2006 20:51 GMT

> My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance license.
> *YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state hasn't sent me my
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
>
> Jill

Jill, God love him, your dad is man. Men (in my experience) want
results. They want to get the job done. They don't have patience and
don't like to wait. They'd rather jump in and "fix things" than talk
about them.
DH & I, it took forever for me to figure this out. The minute I would
start moaning about a problem, he would jump in and want to "fix it."
He never understood that sometimes I just wanted to be "heard". That I
had things under control and didn't need him to jump in and fix them.

Sherry

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NMR - 12 Feb 2006 21:40 GMT

>> My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance license.
>> *YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state hasn't sent me
[quoted text clipped - 43 lines]
>
> Sherry

Oh god we lost another one to being trained us real men are a dying breed we
get trained everyday between cats and woman. Us men can't win we are losing
the battle to be bull head, impatient, stubborn and not ask for directions.

:-)

What the heck am I babbling about I have been broken along time ago I have
even been forced to ask for directions dang woman and cats :-)

Jill fathers are all like this we only want what is best for our little
girls and yes you will be our little girls till they day we cross the
bridge. You have to either shock him into believing you one way to do this
is to send him the paperwork that tells you how ling it takes for the
average processing of your license. Either that or get his attention onto
something else men are easily duped into this. We are creatures of habits
you just got to figure out what to do. I don't know if your mom is alive
and how much your father is capable of travel in the physical or financial
means. if they are ok get mom to help if she can and get them to go on
vacation or start planning this. Make your dad do the planning get his mind
away from you.

I also have an idea it will involve you biting your tongue but it will be
worth it. Can you spend maybe a weekend with your family if they can get
out of the house. Do a parents outing plan something that they both would
enjoy. I have links where you can find out what to do in the city where you
reside at. It gets there mind off of you if he starts talking about you
getting a job and the insurance. this is what you tell him tell him dad I
love you so much but I wanted to spend some time with you before it got to
hectic for when I get my license and my job I probably won't see you all
that much or be able to talk to you. I just wanted to spend some time with
you before any of this happens so can we go back to our time and worry about
this later. This will work guarantee

Jill on a personally note I don't know how you are set financially but I
would send your dad a I was thinking of you gift nothing fancy I have a few
places that I can recommend on line to do this

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jmcquown - 13 Feb 2006 04:54 GMT

>>> My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance
>>> license. *YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state
>>> hasn't sent me my
>>> license yet. No, there's nothing I can do to get it any faster.

>>> Jill
>>
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> one way to do this is to send him the paperwork that tells you how
> ling it takes for the average processing of your license.

There is no paperwork that states this. It's just a matter of how long it
takes the state to process all the applications (and not just insurance
licenses - securities licenses, real estate licenses, etc.)

Either

> that or get his attention onto something else men are easily duped
> into this. We are creatures of habits you just got to figure out
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> vacation or start planning this. Make your dad do the planning get
> his mind away from you.

Ah, but they can't go anywhere. Dad's 81 years old and just finishing up a
second round of treatment for lymphoma. They never went on vacations even
when they were much younger, come to think of it. It's just not something
they do.

> I also have an idea it will involve you biting your tongue but it
> will be worth it. Can you spend maybe a weekend with your family if
> they can get out of the house.

Nice idea but they are 13 hours away from me and 100+ miles from the nearest
airport. Not to mention, Dad doesn't want me to see him in his present
"condition". (sigh)

> Jill on a personally note I don't know how you are set financially
> but I would send your dad a I was thinking of you gift nothing fancy
> I have a few places that I can recommend on line to do this

I'm unemployed if that tells you anything :) Dad would shoot me if I spent
money to send him something. I do write (snail mail - they wouldn't know a
computer if it bit them) every couple of weeks and we talk at least once a
week on the phone.

Jill

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jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@sonic.net - 12 Feb 2006 21:01 GMT

> He just called and suggested I drive 3-1/2 hours to Nashville to pick
> up my license!

Perhaps you could invite him to go to Nashville and pick it up for you,
if he's in such a hurry? :)

Joyce

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jmcquown - 12 Feb 2006 21:07 GMT

> > He just called and suggested I drive 3-1/2 hours to Nashville to
> pick > up my license!
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
> Joyce

LOL! Too bad he's even further away from Nashville than I am. Would have
been a snazzy come-back :)

Jill

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dnr - 12 Feb 2006 22:19 GMT

He just called and suggested I drive 3-1/2 hours to Nashville to

>> pick > up my license!
>> Perhaps you could invite him to go to Nashville and pick it up for
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> been a snazzy come-back :)
> Jill

Forgive me for having a totally different outlook but (can't go and research
all
old posts to see your Dad's exact medical condition; if I remember it was
not clear, due to 411 being kept from someone, can't remember who) if
he has the serious illness I think he has, and family is concerned about it
being possibly life-threatening, who knows what drugs he does and must
take at this time? I do and must take many drugs for CAD (bad arteries of
heart) and blood pressure. They are powerful and help keep me on this
planet. All drugs have possible side effects, and not knowing what your Dad
takes and how it (if at all) affects him, I daresay (completely not
factoring
in his age) there is at least a possibility that it's the drugs talking to
you
and not your Dad as he used to be.
I offer this viewpoint entirely from friendly concern, and as a former
medical worker.. I am no spring chicken
and - nothing to do w/you - some time ago, when my 'rents were still
living, I decided (re your LLL trip) they didn't need to know every
detail of my activities, LOL.

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wafflycat - 12 Feb 2006 21:14 GMT

Your Dad is my mother...

There's everyone else's understanding of what should be done and then
there's his/hers, and of course, there is only one correct understanding.
I'll bet you can guess which one is thought to be the correct one ;-)

The bottom line is he's not going to change. There's *nothing* you can do to
change this. It took me *years* to learn, understand and accept this without
getting wound up about it as far as my mother's opinions went. It's
difficult to let these things wash over you, but if you can, life is a whole
lot more pleasant.

Cheers, helen s

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EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) - 13 Feb 2006 01:34 GMT

> Your Dad is my mother...
>
> There's everyone else's understanding of what should be done and then
> there's his/hers, and of course, there is only one correct
> understanding. I'll bet you can guess which one is thought to be the
> correct one ;-)

Maybe we should have a show of hands - my Mom was one of
those, too! (There were only two ways of doing things - her
way and the wrong way.)

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Chakolate - 13 Feb 2006 04:45 GMT

"wafflycat" <w*a*ff£y£cat*@£btco*nn£ect.com> wrote in news:dso8f7$2u7$1
@nwrdmz01.dmz.ncs.ea.ibs-infra.bt.com:

> Your Dad is my mother...

The mind boggles...

My mom used to ask how much longer I was going to be in school. Since I
returned to school at age 44 (I'm presently 53) she felt it was taking
quite a long time. I kept telling her that I just didn't know, it
depended on how far I could go. Finally I just said, 'The PhD takes
seven years.'

She never asked again.

Chak

Signature

In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it
would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples
might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal
time in physics classrooms.
--Stephen Jay Gould

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Sam - 12 Feb 2006 22:15 GMT

> My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance license.
> *YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state hasn't sent me my
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
>
> Jill

A bushel basket of coping purrs on the way, Jill. It's really hard when
parents won't stop trying to control our lives (BTDT!)

Signature

Sam, closely supervised by Mistletoe

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EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) - 13 Feb 2006 01:32 GMT

> My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance license.
> *YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state hasn't sent me my
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
> I've applied for a couple of jobs. I don't know what else he thinks I can
> do. I've been telling him all along my getting this license is not MAGIC.

Can't you simply tell him you don't want to discuss it?
That you're a grown woman, and, father or not, it's really
none of his business what you do with your life? (No, I
know you can't - it's easy enough for an outsider to say,
but we never entirely outgrow our reluctance to simply tell
well-meaning parents to "take a hike" when they refuse to
relinquish control over us, do we?)

Why do parents find it so hard to accept the fact that
children grow up, develop their own interests, and must make
their own mistakes in life? (Also that what our parents may
regard as "mistakes" do not necessarily count as such in our
eyes?)

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Chakolate - 13 Feb 2006 04:19 GMT

"jmcquown" <jmcquown@bellsouth.net> wrote in news:459kpsF5mpprU1
@individual.net:

> I don't know what to do to make him understand (1) we're dealing with
> government bureaucracy; (2) I'm not the only one who is waiting for a
> license.

So say something like, 'Gee, dad, I thought I told you. I've decided I
don't want to do insurance. I've applied to Ringling Bros Clown College.
Have you seen my stilts anywhere?'

Chak

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Yoj - 13 Feb 2006 06:19 GMT

> My dear, sweet dad just won't stop bugging me about my insurance license.
> *YES* I passed the exams (all 4 of them). NO, the state hasn't sent me my
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
>
> Jill

((((((((((Jill)))))))))

Joy

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