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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / February 2006tessie update
Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room overnight with the door closed and when I woke up this morning I could hear her meowing clear through the door I went into the craft room and closed the door and let her out and cuddled her and put her into the litterbox but she wasn't interested in using it... so after about fifteen minutes I put her back into the carrier (not an easy task - she seems to develop at least eight legs when you try!) Then we went and got the groceries and when we came home you could hear her crying from the front door! John said maybe we should let her go again if she hated being closed up so much, and I couldn't bear it. It made ME cry too... I was only trying to help and it broke my heart to think that I'd made my babies hurt and made the kitten hurt and all for nothing So John went into the craftroom to see how she was doing and she'd finally pooped/pee'ed, only of course she was shut in the carrier at the time so she had no chance to do it in the litterbox Poor little girl... no wonder she was crying to get out! John took her out of the carrier and we gave her a new experience - a bath! She wasn't the least bit amused but she's too small to fight (much) and soon she was clean, if sopping wet. Then John said that we should let her roam the apartment because if the girls were going to be mad at her wherever she was she might as well be free! So they had an interesting standoff - nobody got clawed or bitten but there's been lots of hissing all round. I almost think this could work out as a three-cat household, but we're not going to keep her. Tessie is NOT backing down when Silver growls at her, and she's not willing to accept her place at the bottom of the foodchain - she's a kitten that knows no fear, and John says it would be very bad for our sweet (but dominant) Silver to have to put up with her in the apartment. John rang a bunch of animal shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her... The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to love. But this experience really showed us Scout and Silver's limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must never try to put them into boarding at the vets or anywhere else... they've been too traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives.  Signature~Karen aka Kajikit Crafts, cats, and chocolate - the three essentials of life http://www.kajikitscorner.com Online photo album - http://community.webshots.com/user/kajikit > Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil If you give her a name she is YOURS! > says it would be very bad for our sweet (but dominant) Silver to have > to put up with her in the apartment. John rang a bunch of animal > shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're > taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her... This is a NO-KILL shelter right? I'm sorry if you take this the wrong way - but I just LOVE it when people give up so easily - NOT! I guess you or DH are not poker players otherwise one of you wouldn't fold so easily. It took a year for the two adult cats I have to learn to live together. I had to back up and restart the introduction several times before it finally worked out. Tessie is a kitten give it time I bet it won't take long until their respective places are worked out. > Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil > Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our > sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives. Karen, I don't quite understand why you are using the carrier, or perhaps I missed something in your messages. Why don't you simply let Stranger loose in a room but with the door closed so the cats can't reach other. A litter box, water, and toys should be provided. That would cut *way* down on the dissatisfaction and crying. When I adopted Duffy, I also turned on a radio tuned to a classical station when I left him alone in the room. If you are interested in another cat, then you really haven't given this enough time. It often takes a considerable amount of time and patience to acclimate a new cat, but it is well worth it. I took a full six weeks before I left Duffy and Holly alone together at all times, but they now get along beautifully. I also recommend getting a couple of Feliway diffusers in cases like this. It's not a cure-all, but Feliway really does reduce stress in many cats and helps with the introduction. MaryL >Karen, > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > >MaryL Hi Karen, One thing that might help them get along better is to take a towel and rub Scouty and Silver down with it, and then rub Tessie with it. That way, they all smell the same (or close to it.) You could also give them all baths so they smell alike. Definitely get some Rescue Remedy, and try the Feliway diffusers - they can help. For John's allergys - try bathing Tessie in Allerpet-C once a week. It is supposed to help cut down the dander. Brushing every day will help also. I seem to remember something about bathing them in deionized water, but can't think of it now. As other people have pointed out, it can take a long time for cats to settle in together, but it can work out. I have 17 cats, and they all get along 99% of the time. The arguements are usually slap fests, with no blood drawn. Everyone can have a bad day once in a while! <G> Good luck, and please give the baby a chance! Patti > The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able > to have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > owe it to them to give them our sole and complete attention for > the rest of their lives. Please don't put her out. This reminds me of how Bonnie came to live with me. Shadow (RB) was FeLV+, Shamrock was my only other cat then. Bonnie was a small stray/feral that I'd trapped. If I'd left her alone, I wouldn't have to think about what to do. I didn't. You didn't either with Tessie. I couldn't imagine taking in another cat into a situation where she could get sick. But, there were no other choices. No one would take a feral. It's all worked out, and I love Bonnie to bits. It took some integration, and then when I added 2 more kittens, it took even more work. But well worth it. Shamrock will never get along with Bonnie for some reason, but I just compensate. Good luck with the lil won and Silly and Scout. SignatureCheryl > Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil > Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > fifteen minutes I put her back into the carrier (not an easy task - > she seems to develop at least eight legs when you try!) <snip> > The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to > have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our > sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives. Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here. You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic expectations on your cats by expecting them to adjust this soon. This is a situation that is faced by millions of people who bring another cat into a two-cat household. With time and patience, it works out. What your cats are doing right now is absolutely normal, and the problem is that you have not done a gradual introduction. That is standard protocol. If you will google on the Internet under "Introducing Cats" or "Cat Introduction," you will find many sites that discuss this. For starters, here are a couple of sources that you might want to check out: http://www.cuhumane.org/topics/catcat.html http://operationnoblefoster.org/catsanddog.htm Bringing the cats to the shelter is wrong, especially since you would really like to have another cat. If you take the cat to a kill shelter, there is a very high probability that she will be euthanized. Our local shelter recently published statistics for last year, and 73 percent of cats and dogs were euthanized. Sadder still, that is actually considered a rather "good" rate for a kill shelter because many others euthanize a larger percentage. Please don't let your anxiety cost this kitten her life - or you and John the great pleasure that she could bring. I wrote a fairly lengthy document some time ago in which I described in detail how I went through the introduction with Duffy and Holly. You can see one of the messages at this location: http://tinyurl.com/c35ob. *Please* allow more time to work through this process. MaryL > Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here. > You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic expectations on > your cats by expecting them to adjust this soon. This is a situation that > is faced by millions of people who bring another cat into a two-cat > household. I agree with this. Smokey and Nocturne hissed at each other today, and they've been living under the same roof for over THREE YEARS. Nox doesn't like him, but she's learned to tolerate him as long as he doesn't get too close--and today he tried to jump up on her chair, so there was some hissing and then he went to sleep somewhere else.. They don't bite or injure each other. They don't have miserable lives together. They're like siblings--living under the same roof, there's going to be occasional quibbles. That's normal. We had to keep Smokey and Nox in separate rooms for over a month before they learned to coexist in the same room together. We would let Nox roam the apartment by day while Smokey was in the bedroom; at night, they switched. Please don't condemn Tessie to possible euthanasia, and deny yourself the possibility of ever having a third cat, simply because Scout and Silver need more than 2 days to get used to a newcomer. Imagine if you suddenly had a new HUMAN Living in your house...it'd take you a few weeks to get used to as well! --Fil >>Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here. >>You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic expectations on [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > suddenly had a new HUMAN Living in your house...it'd take you a few > weeks to get used to as well! I agree with the above. When I brought Mir-mir home, it took a few weeks before Frank and Nikki accepte her, and Nikki had always hated other cats. When I brought Caliban home, Mir-mir hissed at him for a week, and look at them now: http://tinyurl.com/cqvzx It can be done. Please reconsider. SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. marina (dot) kurten (at) iki (dot) fi Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki >> weeks to get used to as well! > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > It can be done. Please reconsider. Oh, what a great picture, and what a wonderful illustration of what we have been talking about. Thanks for posting. MaryL > >>Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here. > >>You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic expectations on [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > It can be done. Please reconsider. Great picture, Marina! I actually caught all three of my "kids" in front of the door just two days ago; black, white, black - oreo cookie style - but I accidentally deleted my memory card! UGH! I was so mad. After 6 months of Pua finding us, they're finally all getting along. kili kili >>> Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here. >>> You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >> today he tried to jump up on her chair, so there was some hissing and >> then he went to sleep somewhere else.. <snip> > I agree with the above. When I brought Mir-mir home, it took a few weeks > before Frank and Nikki accepte her, and Nikki had always hated other [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > It can be done. Please reconsider. Thanks for posting this pic, Marina. Karen, please do not give up on Tessie yet. We are purring and sending best wishes for your kitties to accept Tessie asap, Polonca and Soncek I appreciate this thread so much and have been reading with interest. I have five indoor rescues, and four weeks ago I brought two new (rescue) kitties into the house. I've been really lucky with cat introductions in the past -- they were very easy. This one is a little more problematic. Jack, my shy, timid boy, has really reacted badly to the new kits, Joey and Lucy, just wailing his heart out. When I tried last week to introduce Joey to the group, three of the five became VERY aggressive, so I stopped the introduction. For now, Joey and Lucy are in a bedroom with food, box, toys, etc. They seem very content but of course I would like to figure out a way to help Jack get past his fear and jealousy. Also, my oldest boy Leo has been spraying a bit. I've been doing the towel-rubs-to-familiarize with their scent, and this weekend I plan to try a Feliway diffuser and also Rescue Remedy. My question, where I'd like some advice: How do you all think that I will know that Jack is perhaps ready to try it again? I have one other cat who can be overly aggressive, Bear, and I have not even dreamed of letting Bear near Joey until I think that the situation has leveled off. Any suggestions for winning Leo, Bear and Jack over? Thank you! How is your place set up? Are you at all in a position to do the screen door like MaryL (which I think is the ideal situation if possible. I had to use three baby gates stacked on top of each other for my Pearl intro. A screen door would have been SOOOOOO much easier.) With that, you can pretty easily figure out when they are ready to accept each other. > I appreciate this thread so much and have been reading with interest. I > have five indoor rescues, and four weeks ago I brought two new (rescue) [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > letting Bear near Joey until I think that the situation has leveled > off. Any suggestions for winning Leo, Bear and Jack over? Thank you! Hi and thanks. I have been resisting the idea of the screen door because I don't have a way to get one easily, and don't know if I could install it myself. But I am leaning more and more toward the idea. Otherwise, I could do a screen door, yes. I worry a little that they might go nuts and bash it in (even with me around to supervise.) Thanks, Julie Let them sniff each other under the door for a week or so before puttin gup the screen. Also, if you can do one like MaryL's where it is mostly wood with a little screen it would really help eliminate that possibility. > Hi and thanks. I have been resisting the idea of the screen door > because I don't have a way to get one easily, and don't know if I could [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Thanks, Julie > Hi and thanks. I have been resisting the idea of the screen door > because I don't have a way to get one easily, and don't know if I could [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Thanks, Julie It took three weeks for Jasmine (original cat) to get used to cougar (female new cat) Mango (male new cat) couldn't give a stuff about Jasmine's hissing, and ignored her, so she calmed down over him fairly quickly. Cougar on the other hand was very timid and antisocial as a kitten, and I think was favoured by the breeder. She is very manipulative with people and quite deliberately anti social with other cats. I waited until I was positive Jasmine was ok with her being here, clipped everyone's claws and chucked them all in the cat room together overnight (all cats in my house go to bed at hoomin dinnertime and come back out again before brekky). The day I did this, Cougar underwent a dramatic personality change. She became less afraid and more confident, and even started playing. She now acts 'normal' instead of spending all day hiding in cupboards/under beds from other cats. Of course use caution. I only did this after I was sure Jasmine was ok with her, and that she was over-reacting. I am still keeping claws clipped, just in case. Cougar also has a high cupboard she can get up to that Jasmine is too heavy to reach. I think that is important, as every cat can have their space, but Cougar has realized that other cats aren't going to attack her. She's even pinched food from under Jasmine's nose lately. So maybe if your original cat is starting to be ok with the new one, clip claws and chuck them into a room together, supervised at first of course, and let them sort it out. With claws clipped they can't really do each other much damage very quickly. It's rare for them to bite and if they do you can usually intervene quickly. > I agree with the above. When I brought Mir-mir home, it took a few weeks > before Frank and Nikki accepte her, and Nikki had always hated other [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > It can be done. Please reconsider.//// I agree with Amrina on this. When Lily moved in, Tiger threw a complete sh.t fit and temper tantrum, and promptly sprayed all over the house. Now they are good friends and play together for hours. I've just reintroduced Robbie, and again, things are not calm. But they are settling down. The cats need more than two days to be introduced - it took Lily 6 weeks, Cleo took 4 months and Robbie is still settling and has been home since the 13th Jan.. Helen M > > Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil > > Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > MaryL Yep, I wholeheartedly agree with Mary on every point. AND, I know personally from calling a shelter in my area, if a cat isn't adopted out in 3 days, it's put down. How sad is that? kili >The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to >have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our >sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives. It just takes *time*. When I brought home my second kitten my first cat hissed and hissed for a long time. Then she learned to tolerate her. When I brought home my third kitten, one of my cats hid behind the couch and seemed terrified of it and the other cat hissed and hissed again. Guess what they were doing today? Sleeping together on the couch. Of course they'll still get in tiffs, but they tolerate each other. You just haven't given this enough time. And she shouldn't be put in the same room with them yet. Just let them sniff her under the door of the room you put her in. A small room will be less overwhelming for her than letting her have the whole run of the place already anyways. She needs a litter box in there and food and you can visit with her while your husband stays out with the others and vice versa. Also, you really should have her vet checked before she has contact with your other cats. Don't you know the rule? If you've already named her, you have to keep her (that was always the rule at the shelter I volunteered at; if you got attached enough to an animal you were looking after that you named it, then you always ended up keeping it). NanCe > You just haven't given this enough time. And she shouldn't be put > in the same room with them yet. Just let them sniff her under the > door of the room you put her in. A small room will be less overwhelming > for her than letting her have the whole run of the place already anyways. > She needs a litter box in there and food and you can visit with her > while your husband stays out with the others and vice versa. And keeping her in a cat carrier is really unnecessary. No wonder she was crying miserably! She was trapped inside a little box, and couldn't get to her litter box - and had to soil herself. If you're already keeping her shut in a separate room, there is no reason at all to keep her further confined in a cat carrying box. I did all the right things when I brought Roxy into my house, back when Smudge was a year old. Roxy was shut into a bedroom, and Smudge had the run of the house. They could see shadows of each other, and the occasional paw, through the crack under the bedroom door. They growled and hissed at each other through the crack, but otherwise went about their business. After about two weeks of this, I brought Roxy out into the living room, *inside the cat carrier*, to let Smudge check her out a litle more. Smudge would go up to the box, look inside, and hiss. Lots of sniffing and occasional growls. I would let this go on for maybe 30 minutes, and then put Roxy back into the bedroom. When Roxy was safely shut in the bedroom, she *DID NOT* stay in the carrier. This went on for another few days. Finally, one night, I opened the door and let the two of them meet each other face to face. At first, they hissed, but then within minutes, they were chasing each other around the apartment playfully, and became best buddies. I really think this is the best way to introduce a new cat. At the time I didn't have the benefit of Feliway or Rescue Remedy (hadn't heard of either), and I didn't have to try anything like putting tuna or vanilla on their noses. I just used the *slow introduction* method, so they'd have time to get used to there being another cat in the space, before forcing them to meet each other. I think it had excellent results, because Roxy and Smudge were good buddies for years. Now that Licky is in the picture, the dynamics are a bit different, and Smudge tends to be more of a loner. She and Roxy still get along, but I wouldn't say they're really good friends anymore. Smudge and Licky don't get along so well, and I'm forever having to break up their squabbles. I didn't do as good a job introducing Licky into the household, because I was fostering kittens a lot at the time, and Licky was one of them. I didn't take such great care in the introductions because I didn't think I was going to keep any of the fosters. (Yeah, right. :)) I was somewhat careful, just not as painstaking as I was when introducting Roxy to the household back in '98. It really pays to do it right! Joyce > > You just haven't given this enough time. And she shouldn't be put > > in the same room with them yet. Just let them sniff her under the [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Joyce Clap, clap, clap! You did it exactly right. Congrats! kili > Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil > Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > -- > ~Karen aka Kajikit Please don't give up so soon. I wish you could have seen this household when we got Bosley. He hated the other cats, they hated him, he hated me, they hated me for not hauling him off. Today he is the most loving cat. He sleeps with me and gets along beautifully with the others. It took the better part of a month to integrate him. I agree with that it is very stressful for Silver. It helps a LOT if you play "musical cats." Bosley stayed locked up in a bedroom, but when the others would go off and sleep, I'd shut their doors and let Bosley roam the house. They didn't have a face-to-face for a month. It just seems awfully unfair for this baby to have a taste of a loving home and then get hauled off to a shelter. I know, if you can just see past the next few weeks, you would be so glad that you kept her.Please consider it. Sherry <snip> > Tessie is NOT backing down when > Silver growls at her, and she's not willing to accept her place at the [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're > taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her... <snip> Karen, please don't give up so easily, a couple of days is nothing, it takes weeks if not months for most cats to integrate. In the end they often become the best of friends. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera) A House is not a home, without a cat. http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk > Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil > Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > -- You know, my Miss Chloe and Miss Pua have been in the same house since August and they're still adapting. (It may be a female, power trip thing.....) It really *can* work out, but perhaps you may have pushed them together a little too soon. I had to isolate Pua for a good two - three months because of her ringworm, but after that I let her out of the room to explore the house. I had Tyrone and Chloe locked in my bedroom while I let Pua out. I then let Pua in my room and let my other two kids explore the house, sniffing where Pua had just been. Noses were VERY active! I kept this up for about a week, back and forth, and then let all three out together. There's still some hissing, but Tyrone and Pua play together all the time! Chloe's chapped because she went from #2 cat in the tier to #3. She's now third in line to the food bowl. Pua and Tyrone have actually had both their heads in the food bowl at the same time, with no animosity! Don't despair about not having a third "kid" in the house; it's not over yet. Give it another shot, please. kili > You know, my Miss Chloe and Miss Pua have been in the same house since > August and they're still adapting. (It may be a female, power trip > thing.....) snipped You know what, Kili; I think the female power trip thing is more than a myth like some people say. It's the girls that give me trouble integrating. The boys are so laid back. > kili On Mon 13 Feb 2006 06:52:06p, Sherry wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes (news:1139874726.314388.151750@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com): >> You know, my Miss Chloe and Miss Pua have been in the same >> house since August and they're still adapting. (It may be a [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > than a myth like some people say. It's the girls that give me > trouble integrating. The boys are so laid back. Probably because in the wild, the females are responsible for raising the young (even those not theirs), hunting, fending off males to want to kill their young males, etc. It's all instinct. SignatureCheryl >You know what, Kili; I think the female power trip thing is more than a >myth like some people say. It's the girls that give me trouble >integrating. The boys are so laid back. From the stories I read here, it certainly seems that neutered males who are past their own kittenhood but not yet geriatric are more interested in, and accepting of, kittens introduced to the household than are females. SignatureWayne M. > > You know, my Miss Chloe and Miss Pua have been in the same house since > > August and they're still adapting. (It may be a female, power trip [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > myth like some people say. It's the girls that give me trouble > integrating. The boys are so laid back. Yep, I think so, too. The male cats really just don't care! kili
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