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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / February 2006Aussie Citizenship Test
New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog? When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first? Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner: a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat. b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat. c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine. How many beers in a slab? Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"? The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character? a) Toadie from Neighbours b) Alf from Home & Away c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers? When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages a) Once or twice b) As often as necessary to cook c) After each stubby d) Until charcoal? Name three of the Daddo brothers. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC? Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon: a) Drinking beer a mate's place b) Drinking beer at the beach c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach? Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza? How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England? How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h? Who are Scott and Charlene? How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie? a) Squirt and spread with finger b) Sauce injection straight into the middle? If the police raided your home would you: a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally? Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest? Have you ever had/do you have a mullet? Thongs are: a) Skimpy underwear b) Casual footwear c) They're called jandals, bro? On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001 or 2005? What someone is more likely to die of. 1) Red Back Spider 2) Great White Shark 3) Victorian Police Officer 4) King Brown Snake 5) Your missus after a big night 6) Dropbear? How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie? Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn? Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter.... Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ. Who is current Australian test cricket captain: a) Ricky Ponting b) Don Bradman c) John Howard d) Makybe Diva? Is it best to take a sick day on: a) When the cricket's on b) When the cricket's on c) When the crickets on? What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle? What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer? What are Budgie smugglers? Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice? A "Hoppoate" is: a) A breed of kangaroo b) A kind of Australian "wedgie" c) A disgraced Rugby League player? What does having a 'chunder' mean? When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set? What do the following terms mean: a) Mate? b) Maate c) Maaaaaaate? Best Aussie name is what? a) Cheryl b) Charlene c) Bazza d) Thommo e) Shazza What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Note, I have lived here for 36 years - and I can't answer all these - and there were no answers supplied. dave > New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test > [quoted text clipped - 140 lines] > and there were no answers supplied. > dave LOL! I can guess a few of the answers. OTOH, in some cases, I don't even understand the question. ;-) I'll have to try this on some of my Aussie friends in other newsgroups. Joy Mate! I nearly cacked meself when I read this! Yowie > New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test > [quoted text clipped - 140 lines] > and there were no answers supplied. > dave > Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC? This is the only one I know. Ronald Belford "Bon" Scott. Died from being punk and disorderly in London in 1980. The band was never the same again. -L. >> Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC? > > This is the only one I know. Ronald Belford "Bon" Scott. Died from > being punk and disorderly in London in 1980. The band was never the > same again. Oh, I don't know, I reckon Brian Johnson is pretty good at what he does. He certainly isn't particularly good at being Bon Scott (only Bon Scott could be Bon Scott) and can't sing Bon's songs the way Bon did, but I think he was a suitable replacement, not for Bon (can never replace him) but rather, as the lead singer for AC/DC, and the AC/DC songs that were written with Brian Johnson's style of singing in mind work just as well, IMHO. I was far too young to see Bon Scott with AC/DC live, but the shows I've seen with Brian as lead singer were awesome. But lets face it, AC/DC is all about the Young brothers, plus Charismatic But Hard Front Man who Can Belt Out A Rock Tune. Jimmy Barnes would have done a good a job; anyone of that ilk would have worked. Can't even remember who the drummers have been..... Naturally, YMMV. Yowie >> New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test >> >> How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also >> allowing room for your cattle dog? Trick question: its a Holden Ute. (A Ute, short of 'Utility' is like a pick-up truck) >> When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first? Ice, beer, ice. Make sur eyou don't have to plunge hand through ice to get beer. >> Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner: >> a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather >> continues fine. c >> How many beers in a slab? 24. A slab is a full cardboard carton of beer bottles >> Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but >> No I don't agree"? All of the above, depending on tone & context. >> The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV >> character? >> a) Toadie from Neighbours >> b) Alf from Home & Away >> c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection >> d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers? Trick Question: Ted Bullpit, but "all of the above" is also correct. >> When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages >> a) Once or twice >> b) As often as necessary to cook >> c) After each stubby >> d) Until charcoal? c or d (stubby is a small bottle 375ml - the same as in a standard can of beer) >> Name three of the Daddo brothers. Andrew, Lauchie, Cameron and Jamie >> Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC? Bon Scott >> Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon: >> a) Drinking beer a mate's place >> b) Drinking beer at the beach >> c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy >> d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before >> going to the beach? d of course >> Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Yup- a ham & pineapple is called a "hawaiian" pizza >> Would you eat egg on a pizza? Yup - an egg & bacon (and maybe onion) pizza is called an "aussie" <missing question> : Would you eat pickled beetroot on your hamburger? Answer: Yup. Beetroot is standard on all non-franchised hamburgers (and some franchised ones as well) >> How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from >> Australia to England? 52 (still holds the record) >> How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana >> travelling at 120km/h? Brisbane to the Gold Coast: 80km At 120km/hr 40 minutes (Torana is a small but sporty older model car that pretty much every second person's first car back in the 80's). 5 minutes per stubbie, that makes 8 stubbies. BUT (here's the trick) you wouldn't be travelling by yourself. You'd be travelling with at least 3 of your mates: so the answer is *at least* 32 stubbies. >> Who are Scott and Charlene? The characters Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue played in the soapie _Neighbours_ >> How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie? >> a) Squirt and spread with finger >> b) Sauce injection straight into the middle? b, although a is acceptable *providing* no cutlery ever touches the pie >> If the police raided your home would you: >> a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items >> b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain >> c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers >> it personally? b. John Howard (the Prime Minister) won't even read your letter, let alone answer it, and no dinki-di Aussie is going to let the bst*rds get away with it without making a heck of a noise. >> Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a >> yardie full of beer the fastest? Bob Hawke >> Have you ever had/do you have a mullet? Sadly, yes. My current hair cut could be called a mullet too, although its a very toned down one. >> Thongs are: >> a) Skimpy underwear >> b) Casual footwear >> c) They're called jandals, bro? b. If you answered C you probably live in Bondi (They're called jandels in New Zealand, and ther's a heck of alot of ex-pat Kiwis in Bondi) >> On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001 >> or 2005? Noen of the above: Shane Warne has always had a crap hairstyle. >> What someone is more likely to die of. >> 1) Red Back Spider [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> 5) Your missus after a big night >> 6) Dropbear? 3 (There has been a number of incidents of fatal police violence in Victoria), although 5 and 6 are also acceptable answers >> How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner >> barbie? Once and only once. >> Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn? Of course (Cold Chisel are probably the iconic 80's Aussie 'working class' band, the lead singer, gravelly voiced Jimmy Barnes belting it out hard rockwhilst downing a bottle of scotch on the stage each night (and still being able to sing just fine). Khe Sahn is their best song, rather sad, usually played last so that all the drunk people can be happily meloncholy (and get a root* afterwards) * sex >> Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the >> pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter.... <A. You need to be drunk. B. you need to do this with other drunk people who will argue fervently with you, possibly leading to violence C. Not enough time to do it here> >> Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ. Beer The dog Novelty apron Lighter fluid (to start the BBQ) Ball, bat & stump to play backyard cricket with Oh, meat and onions might be good too, but not strictly necessary - the host will have enough and besides, the point of the BBQ is to drink the host's beer and play cricket with the dog whilest the host burns the food in the novelty apron (usually a gorrilla or a very well endowed woman) >> Who is current Australian test cricket captain: >> a) Ricky Ponting >> b) Don Bradman >> c) John Howard >> d) Makybe Diva? a >> Is it best to take a sick day on: >> a) When the cricket's on >> b) When the cricket's on >> c) When the crickets on? All of the above (Australians are reknown for "chucking a sickie",ie, pcalling in sick (when they are prefectly well) to get a day off work >> What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle? A polar bear >> What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer? Entirely depends on what state you are in. In Victoria, The Northern Territory and Queensland, a pot of beer will get you 285ml of beer In NSW, Western Australia, South Australia and Tasmania asking for a pot of beer will get you beaten up (or if they're beingnice, at least treated with contempt) In Victoria, a middie will be 425ml, but in WA & NSW, it will get you 285ml of beer And in all other states asking for a middie will mean you get beaten up (or, if they're being nice, treated with contempt) And just ot add to the confusion, in NSW, a schooner is 425ml but is 485 in Victoria. >> What are Budgie smugglers? Speedos. Very tight swimwear for men that ought to be banned for the sake of common decency >> Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice? Yes. Molly was a very popular character on the 80's soapie _A Country Practice_ who died of leukemia >> A "Hoppoate" is: >> a) A breed of kangaroo >> b) A kind of Australian "wedgie" >> c) A disgraced Rugby League player? b & c. John Hoppoate used to stick his fingers into the bottom cleavage of opposing players during tackles. >> What does having a 'chunder' mean? Vomiting >> When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set? A hills hoist is a rotating washing line that could be raised and lowered, that all Australian kids seem to use as a swing set (I did, although I had to use a friend's because my own yard didn't have one) Here's a picture: http://www.deh.gov.au/soe/2001/images/ncph008.jpg >> What do the following terms mean: >> a) Mate? >> b) Maate >> c) Maaaaaaate? a - are you still alive? b - good to see you! c - bullsh*t! >> Best Aussie name is what? >> a) Cheryl >> b) Charlene >> c) Bazza >> d) Thommo >> e) Shazza Any of he above >> What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean? Something that is Genuinely (and stereotypically) Australian Hope that helps people. Yowie > New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test Thanks for the smiles Dave! I could really use them today...  Signature~Karen aka Kajikit Crafts, cats, and chocolate - the three essentials of life http://www.kajikitscorner.com Online photo album - http://community.webshots.com/user/kajikit > > New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test > > Thanks for the smiles Dave! I could really use them today... In that case, you can probably use this too: (((((((Karen aka Kajikit))))))) Joy This was a lot of fun to read, especially with Yowie's answers. Question: Do Aussies *really* drink that much beer???? Ginger-lyn Home Pages: http://www.moonsummer.com http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website) Some of them probably do, but the Aussies I've met (about 20 or so) don't, or at least they didn't when I was with them - and I have stayed with several of them, sometimes for days at a time. Also, drivers in Oz are no worse than those in Southern California, and you'd think they would be if they were all drunk. ;-) SignatureJoy **Don't believe everything you think** > This was a lot of fun to read, especially with Yowie's answers. > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against > Animals in Movies Website) >Some of them probably do, but the Aussies I've met (about 20 or so) don't, >or at least they didn't when I was with them - and I have stayed with >several of them, sometimes for days at a time. Also, drivers in Oz are no >worse than those in Southern California, and you'd think they would be if >they were all drunk. ;-) Wine is catching up with beer. They make some pretty terrific wines there. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War > This was a lot of fun to read, especially with Yowie's answers. > > Question: Do Aussies *really* drink that much beer???? Darwin still consumes the most beer per person in the world. That beign said, no I don't think Aussies drink that much beer all the time, but there seems to be a weird national pride about how much beer we supposedly drink. And, as good hosts,t here always ought to be cold beer in the fridge to offer guests, just like tea and coffee (even if you don't usually drink it yourself) Yowie
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