Hee hee... Here's the complete description of How to Sing the Blues
(and who can and can't sing them):

Joyce

PS - Mayhem sounds adorable!!

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How to sing the Blues...a Primer

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you
  stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman,
  with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat
  it. Then find something that rhymes...sort of: "Got a good woman
  with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the
  meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, And she
  weighs 500 pounds."

4. The Blues is not about choice. You're stuck in a ditch, you're
  stuck in a ditch - ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues
  don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues
  transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train, blues NEVER
  go on the northbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor
  pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the
  blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet.
  Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough
  to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any
  place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably
  just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are
  still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues
  in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with
  male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing
  is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause an alligator be chomping
  on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The
  lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the
  dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:

a. highway
b. jailhouse

Bad places for the Blues:

a. Nordstrom
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you
   happen to be an old person, and you slept in it for the last 6
   months.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:

a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis

Not if:

a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger
   Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people
   also got leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the
   Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:

   a. muddy water
   b. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:

   a. Perrier
   b. Chardonnay
   c. Snapple
   d. Slim Fast

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues
   death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues
   way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying
   lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you
   die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:

   a. Sadie
   b. Big Mama
   c. Bessie
   d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:

   a. Joe
   b. Willie
   c. Little Willie
   d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather
   can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. "Make your own Blues Name" Starter Kit:

    a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)

    b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi,
       etc.)

    c. last name of a President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
       For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or
       Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer,
   you cannot sing the blues.