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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / December 2005Speaking of Being a "Target" OT
WARNING: contains content some might consider "racist" Some people just display their ignorance in public and it bugs the heck out of me, especially when they try to rope me into it. I was at the little store down the street which was bought by a very nice family of folks from Ethiopia. The man was getting a bag for my purchases when the black woman in line behind me (wearing the most ridiculous hair rollers I've ever seen!) said to him, "You look like you should be a model, did you get those clothes at Abercrombie & Fitch?". He laughed and said he bought the clothes in Africa. She said, "Huh? They have clothes like that? I didn't think they wore clothes in Africa; I thought they was all nekkid. Or they wore leaves and stuff." He smiled at her indulgently. Then she went off on a tangent. "We ain't even supposed to be here [in the U.S.] We was stolen! By people like HER!" and she turned and pointed at me. She was laughing, but folks, she was deadly serious behind that laughter. I held up my hands and said, "I didn't have a thing to do with it." And I took my purchases, thanked the man and left. I hate when people display ignorance in public. The folks who own the store emigrated here from Ethiopia 6 months ago to find a better life and they've found one. They own a very nice, busy store. They wear leaves? Run around "nekkid"? I'd blame public education except I'm a product of public education. I'm sure I'm ignorant in many areas, but I'd never start a conversation like that with someone from another country when I didn't know what the HELL I was talking about. Jill > I hate when people display ignorance in public. The folks who own the > store [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > know > what the HELL I was talking about. Reminds me of things that tourist information employees have to take from tourists visiting here in Norway: One woman came to complain and wanted her money back for the trip. She had wanted to see the Midnight Sun (As you all know, in the Northern part of Norway, the sun stays up 24 hours a day during summertime), but when she saw it she got very disappointed: "It was not a special sun, it was excactly the same sun we've got in California!" Another question: "When do they close the fjords for the winter?" Hello... And, just to make sure you get the point: There are no polar bears walking around in the streets (or anywhere else) in Norway. Lots of questions are asked about that, too... Hans [snips] No cluons were harmed when "Hans Schrøder" <han-schr@online.no> wrote: >Reminds me of things that tourist information employees have to take >from >tourists visiting here in Norway: Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... Hugs and Purrs, Mark  SignatureProof of Sanity Forged Upon Request I don't know there Mark I would ask to but I got a reason last time I was there the bank next to the hotel I was at got robbed and a shoot out occurred. Seem that the police were out gunned and every day citizens stopped got out and joined in the battle to help the cops out. When any one ask about that I tell them only in TEXAS the only place in the US you can hang a person for stealing your cattle or live on the 20 th floor see some one stealing your car break out a rifle shoot the thief than call the cops :-) > [snips] > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Hugs and Purrs, > Mark > [snips] > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... I was once asked by an American if I still had to curtsey to the local squire. I replied that no, I didn't and then asked if she still had to pull the covered wagons into a circle every night :-Þ The aboslute best one I've personally experienced was when the local convent school was visited by pupils (teenagers) and some sisters from the school the same order runs in New York. There was I and a couple of other adults at the church in Swaffham having a coffee (the church was the meeting point for the girls if they needed any assistance in their allowed free-time shopping in town). A couple of our visitors came in, most distressed. Seems they were upset that they couldn't find anyone to accept their money in shops. Yes, they were attempting to use dollars. Seems it hadn't occured to them or their parents that the UK may have its own currency. "But why wouldn't they take our dollars?" Then the little darlings refused to eat 'English food' and created such a song and dance about it that they had to have McDonalds brought in - *it* was proper food apparently. Having had the fresh, home-cooked food at the convent I can honestly say there is nothing wrong with it at all, indeed I've had many a pleasant and wholesome meal there. I must admit, I found the experience of the girls wonderfully whacky, as whenever Vernon, Nathan & I have visited foreign soil, the rule we follow is respect the country we are in and enjoy finding out about new people, places, customs and (YUM..) new foods. Cheers, helen s > I was once asked by an American if I still had to curtsey to the local > squire. I replied that no, I didn't and then asked if she still had to pull > the covered wagons into a circle every night//// I used to have an awful lot of fun as an Immigration officer at Heathrow dealing with predominately Americans. Now, please don't get me wrong, I have a lot of American friends who are well educated, etc, etc, but like with Britain, there also some slightly less inteligent members of their society... The best two I can think of I once persuaded an American Tourist that she couldn't fly on to Scotland because she didn't have a Scottish visa and she could only go and get one in Birmingham as that was where the scottish embassy was, but they were only open to tourists on the second wednesday afternoon of the month. The second was a party of American school kids who appeared wearing their baseball caps backwards. I told the first one that he'd better turn his cap around and wear it properly because otherwise he'd be arrested by the fashion police for having no taste in clothes. He of course thought I meant the real police and screamed in a very loud voice at the 50 or so other kids to turn their caps around before they got arrested. And numerous other mischief making cons... Helen M >The second was a party of American school kids who appeared wearing >their baseball caps backwards. I told the first one that he'd better [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >at the 50 or so other kids to turn their caps around before they got >arrested. Better safe than sorry - I mean this would actually sound plausible if the country in question were Singapore. ;) > I once persuaded an American Tourist that she couldn't fly on to > Scotland because she didn't have a Scottish visa and she could only go > and get one in Birmingham as that was where the scottish embassy was, > but they were only open to tourists on the second wednesday afternoon of > the month. > The second was a party of American school kids who appeared wearing > their baseball caps backwards. I told the first one that he'd better > turn his cap around and wear it properly because otherwise he'd be > arrested by the fashion police for having no taste in clothes. Helen, I'm starting to get the picture here, between this and your tale of fun at the expense of some teenagers in Belize. You're quite a prankster!! I'm giving you a wide berth. Especially since I tend to be pretty gullible myself. Joyce > Helen, I'm starting to get the picture here, between this and your tale > of fun at the expense of some teenagers in Belize. You're quite a prankster!! > I'm giving you a wide berth. Especially since I tend to be pretty gullible > myself./// In my defence, I try only to have harmless fun and it's never malicious. >;o) Only once have I been deliberately malicious. I used to have a flat mate who was a food thief. He'd steal all my food from the fridge. So one day I got a can of kitten whiskers catfood (looks like pate) and emtied it into a glass dish. Told him to help himself and so he did. He ate the whole lot on toast. he never stole my food again after that. Helen M > > [snips] > > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > their parents that the UK may have its own currency. "But why wouldn't they > take our dollars?" Young people are taught (or used to be) that America is *the* best place, strongest currency, blah, blah, blah. We'uns be ignerunt sumtimz. Then the little darlings refused to eat 'English food' > and created such a song and dance about it that they had to have McDonalds > brought in - *it* was proper food apparently. This is just America's young people. My own daughter (well step, but you get the idea) would eat nothing but McDs growing up (strangely she does not have a weight problem). Didn't matter that my "McNuggets" were just as good (by her standard), it HAD to be McDonalds. Having had the fresh, > home-cooked food at the convent I can honestly say there is nothing wrong > with it at all, indeed I've had many a pleasant and wholesome meal there. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Cheers, helen s > Then the little darlings refused to eat 'English food' >> and created such a song and dance about it that they had to have McDonalds >> brought in - *it* was proper food apparently. > This is just America's young people. My own daughter (well step, but > you get the idea) would eat nothing but McDs growing up (strangely she > does not have a weight problem). Didn't matter that my "McNuggets" > were just as good (by her standard), it HAD to be McDonalds. All young people. Or perhaps a certain subset of young people in all societies. I was once assigned to keep an eye on two children aged about 10 on a school day trip. I was more accustomed to teenagers when I couldn't avoid going on school trips at all, but someone had had the idea that it might motivate the younger children to work harder if a couple were chosen to go on the trip. However, due to their youth, they needed to be very carefully watched, and that's what my job was. The trip was to an event at another, quite rural, school which didn't have a cafeteria nor, for that matter, did the community have any restaurants, fast food or otherwise. The local parents provided delicious home-made cold plates for the visiting students and teachers. They were far nicer than many a cold plate I have eaten, with a nice range of meats, salads and rolls. The pair of little sweethearts whined and moaned. They didn't like turkey. They didn't like ham. They didn't like any of the salads. The bread wasn't the kind they were used to. Teenagers can at least be counted on to find someone to provide them with junkfood should the meal not be to their liking, and most of them are too polite to complain about the meal. At least in the hearing of that cute kid from the host school whose mother probably helped make it! SignatureCheryl >> [snips] >> [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > squire. I replied that no, I didn't and then asked if she still had to > pull the covered wagons into a circle every night :-Þ Actually, archaic as it might seem, the next village to me, Barkby, still has a squire. He practically owns the whole village, all the farms and cottages are rented from the estate. I drive through there at least once a week, but as far as I know I've never seen him (or at least if I have, he's never stopped my car and asked me to curtsey ;-)) ) Tweed > Actually, archaic as it might seem, the next village to me, Barkby, still > has a squire. He practically owns the whole village, all the farms and [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Tweed There is indeed a knight of the realm in my village. I've never had to curtsey though ;-) Cheers, helen s > There is indeed a knight of the realm in my village. I've never had to > curtsey though ;-) I once actually met a lord! Well, OK, he didn't seem to have a horse, armour, village, etc., and simply walked down the corridor carrying his briefcase, just like anyone else, but he did have a British title, and was normally referred to in print as 'Lord'. I was secretary of a very small student group who had invited him (he was also an academic) to speak to us. We realized on the night that none of us knew the polite way to address someone, aside from Mr., Mrs., Miss (this was a bit before 'Ms') and Dr. Someone shoved me in the back and hissed '*You* go out and greet him, you're the secretary!' and I mumbled something. He turned out to be a very pleasant and informal man. SignatureCheryl > Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... When I was in college, in the early 90's, I spent a year as an exchange student at Tulane University in New Orleans. A few people would be a bit incredulous when I told them I was from Mexico. They stared at me and said, "But you dress just like us!". I was like, "what did you expect? a mariachi outfit?" It seems they thought all mexicans dressed like in the old movies! :) SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > mariachi outfit?" It seems they thought all mexicans dressed like in the > old movies! :) Wot??? You don't mean you go round singing "La cucaracha" (sp?) throughout the day and eat only red-hot chilli? Darn, there's another stereotype exploded ;-) Cheers, helen s > Wot??? You don't mean you go round singing "La cucaracha" (sp?) throughout > the day and eat only red-hot chilli? Darn, there's another stereotype > exploded ;-) I've had to explain to my friends in Ontario that Nova Scotia uses the exact same Canadian money as Ontario does... I've had to explain to Americans that we do not have snow 12 months of the year... Just because I've slept in a snow-shelter doesn't mean I regularly live in one and we don't ALL smoke weed all the time up here. --Fil > and we don't ALL smoke weed all the time up here. You don't!?!?!?!?! Duuuuuude!!!!!! :) SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com >> and we don't ALL smoke weed all the time up here. > >You don't!?!?!?!?! Duuuuuude!!!!!! :) BWAHAHAHAHA! But DUDE! We totally understand! You gotta do something to keep warm. ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War > and we don't ALL smoke weed all the time up here. > > --Fil Of course not, you're in Nova Scotia and not in Vancouver ;-) -- Britta "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > > and we don't ALL smoke weed all the time up here. > > > > --Fil > > Of course not, you're in Nova Scotia and not in Vancouver ;-) Well then, I guess I ought to say that we don't sit around here drinking screech and collecting welfare all the time *l* --Fil BTW, that thing with the "fashion police" was HILARIOUS >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > mariachi outfit?" It seems they thought all mexicans dressed like in the > old movies! :) Victor, was yesterday a Mexican holiday or a church holiday largely celebrated by Mexican's? There was a large gathering at our Catholic church, it looked like there had been a parade. And many people were wearing costumes or traditional type outfits. Red white and green skirts, hair up in ribbons etc. I very seldom see that sort of dressing up around here. At least not beyond some of the men's fondness for really nice cowboy boots. Jo > >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Jo It was the feast of The Virgin of Guadalupe. It was sad here in Houston when one church found that a statue of Our Lady was defaced by vandals. :< Here's a web site about the Feast Day. http://www.lasculturas.com/lib/libFeastGuad.htm Hugs, CatNipped Sorry, I meant to post this link which has a better description... http://www.usfca.edu/president/homilies/guadalupe.html Hugs, CatNipped > > >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > > >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > CatNipped >> >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >> >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] >It was the feast of The Virgin of Guadalupe. It was sad here in Houston >when one church found that a statue of Our Lady was defaced by vandals. :< Jeez Louise, was Essence of Stupidity released into the world water supply yesterday? :P Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War >> >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >> >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > CatNipped Thank you. Guadalupe was the name I couldn't bring to the front of my mind. Steven's friend Manuel tried to tell me last night be I'm not good at understanding words that I can't place in context. Hearing still not up for it. Off to read the web site. Jo > Thank you. Guadalupe was the name I couldn't bring to the front of my mind. > Steven's friend Manuel tried to tell me last night be I'm not good at > understanding words that I can't place in context. Hearing still not up for > it. Guadalupe is probably the most worshipped image of the virgin in the world. Her sanctuary in Mexico City is a sight to behold. They say that 90% of mexicans are catholic and 95% are "guadalupanos" (those who worship Guadalupe). :) I'm not counted as either though... SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com > > >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > > >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > http://www.lasculturas.com/lib/libFeastGuad.htm Have you heard that popular culture is now competing with Cinco de Mayo. Star Wars Day. May the Fourth be with you. >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > "what did you expect? a mariachi outfit?" It seems they thought all > mexicans dressed like in the old movies! :) When I was in high school, we had a 1 week exchange with a school in Ellensburg, Washington. It's in the middle of Washington state and we were from Victoria, BC, so really it wasn't all that far away. But the girl I stayed with took me all around her house and showed me their appliances and asked if I'd ever seen anything like that before (microwave, hair dryer, etc...) I couldn't believe it! The next day, other kids in my class reported similar scenarios, where they US kids thought we lived in igloos and drove dog sled teams on our 1 highway :-( -- Britta "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album >>> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady >from [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] >similar scenarios, where they US kids thought we lived in igloos and >drove dog sled teams on our 1 highway :-( Reminds me of packing for my first trip to OZ. Looking for toothbrush and deodorant, and then-DH saying patiently, "We have those there, you know." ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War >>> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >>> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > similar scenarios, where they US kids thought we lived in igloos and > drove dog sled teams on our 1 highway :-( You don't have to visit another country to get that treatment! When I was 21 I visited my aunt Jean and uncle Howard with my mom in Mt. Jackson, Pennsylvania. My cousin Herb, 22, lived with them. Mt. Jackson is this tiny little place on a mountain outside of Pittsburgh. We lived in Memphis, TN. My cousin actually asked me if we had paved roads and indoor plumbing in Memphis. Hello? You have 2-lane (one way each) roads going up to this tiny town; we just flew in from a place with 6-lane divided highways. Someone watched waaaay too much 'Beverly Hillbillies' when he was growing up. To make matters worse, cousin Herb & his fiance took me to a "party" where they served Reunite on ice. Anyone remember those commercials? Reunite was a cheap red wine. But the commercials didn't literally *mean* serve it in a glass full of ice cubes! That's what they did. EEEEEK :D Jill >>>> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >>>> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > >Jill It can work the other way around, too! My brother's in-laws live in suburban Maryland, and always ask me if it's a "big adjustment" for me to visit them. But why? They seem to have all the modern amenities. :P Maybe they think New York must be like the Jetsons, and we live in the Skypad apartments, with moving sidewalks. ???? Jane!! How do you stop this crazy thing? Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War >>>>> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady >>>>> from Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >>>> would be a bit incredulous when I told them I was from Mexico. They >>>> stared at me and said, "But you dress just like us!". >>> When I was in high school, we had a 1 week exchange with a school in >>> Ellensburg, Washington. It's in the middle of Washington state and [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Theresa You mean you don't have an automatic dog walk and a robot maid?! Tsk tsk. Shame on you! The only moving sidewalks I've ever seen are in airports and guess what? We walk on them :) Jill > >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady > from [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > drove dog sled teams on our 1 highway :-( > -- I had a USAian woman chastise me because, in her opinion, I was patronizing Canada. Puzzled, I asked what offensive thing I had said. "You called Victoria a provincial capital. Would you call a decent-sized US city 'provincial'"? Actually, no, I wouldn't. > Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... They now have gunfights in Toronto though - gun violence in the Jane/Finch area. A crying shame. ... and by the way, 99.9% of Canadians don't drive snow mobiles to work in the winter :-) Susan M Otis and Chester ok 97.5% :-) the truth comes out >> Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from >> Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Susan M > Otis and Chester > No cluons were harmed when "Hans Schroeder" <han-schr@online.no> > wrote: >>Reminds me of things that tourist information employees have to take >>from >>tourists visiting here in Norway: > Or Dallas, Texas. I used to correspond with a lovely young lady from > Toronto, who asked about the gunfights in town... OK, here's a funny list of stupid questions that someone sent me a number of years ago. For your reading enjoyment: ---------------------------------------------------------------- Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and some answers that may be appropriate. * I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true and if so, can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy) (Sure, there's only 8 million of them) * I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue? (Germany) (More likely brown, considering the effluent...) * Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) (Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...) * Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) (Depends on how much beer you've consumed...) * I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany) (Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.) * I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) (Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year and a half ago to get there in time for the Games...) * Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) (And accomplish what?) * It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy) (I'm not touching this one...) * My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa) (Why? We do have toilet paper here...) * Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) (No, and we use shells for money too) * Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal) (???) * Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK) (Depends if you get an ugly one or not...) * Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) (Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...) * Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) (No. Everybody stinks.) * Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany) (Yes, but only in sporting goods stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...) * Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) (Yes. At Christmas.) * Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany) (Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.) * Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany) (Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.) * Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) (What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?) * Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) (A blonde?) * Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) (Rattlesnakes? There is only serum for the Funnel Web and Red-Back Spiders. You will need to contend with White-Tail Spiders, Brown, Tiger and Red-Belly Black snakes, sharks, Red Kangaroos, Blue-ringed Octopuses and the 3am pub closing time/taxi change-over) * Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) (Face North and you should be about right) * Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) (Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.) * I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) (Another blonde?) * I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) (From Liz Taylor, perhaps?) * Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy) (Yes. Outdoors.) * I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) * Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) (Yes, except in America.) Joyce That's a keeper! Thanks for the laugh, Joyce. Best wishes, Polonca and Soncek > OK, here's a funny list of stupid questions that someone sent me > a number of years ago. For your reading enjoyment: [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > (Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, > who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...) <snip> >That's a keeper! Thanks for the laugh, Joyce. >Best wishes, >Polonca and Soncek That was a variation on another list: Dave's Drop-bear warning forgot that you scare them away by dousing yourself with human urine. ;) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?(Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK) A: You are a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization ofveganhunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War > Reminds me of things that tourist information employees have to take from > tourists visiting here in Norway: [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > around in the streets (or anywhere else) in Norway. Lots of questions are > asked about that, too... We get the same in Finland, except about the fjords, of course. And no, we don't have polar bears in Finland, either. SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. marina (dot) kurten (at) iki (dot) fi Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki > We get the same in Finland, except about the fjords, of course. And no, we > don't have polar bears in Finland, either. Thank heavens for that! Personally I'd avoid places where there are polar bears roaming ;-) Cheers, helen s > Thank heavens for that! Personally I'd avoid places where there are polar > bears roaming ;-) There's a place in Manitoba that attracts tourists who want to see polar bears roaming around! http://www.arcticcircle.ca/churchill2000/ In my area, we only get one every year or two, when they drift down on the ice. It's really quite rare - on the island, that is, Labrador is quite a different story. They're beautiful animals, but I really wouldn't want to see one peerin in my living room window. SignatureCheryl No Special Sun in the Summer nights here either, or polar bears in the streets, even tho that's been asked about here too. I used to work in the reception of the Canadian Embassy in Helsinki in the 80's and got a lot of weird questions both from Canadians and other nationalities, but it's too long ago for me to remember anything in particular right now. Christine in Vantaa, posting from work > And, just to make sure you get the point: There are no polar bears walking > around in the streets (or anywhere else) in Norway. Lots of questions are > asked about that, too... "Polar bears"? Now if they asked about reindeer (especially in the far northern portion of the country) it might be some normal "geographically challenged" American like me, but Polar bears? (I think there are some in Alaska, but they aren't even native to Northern Europe, are they?) > "Polar bears"? Now if they asked about reindeer (especially > in the far northern portion of the country) it might be some > normal "geographically challenged" American like me, but > Polar bears? (I think there are some in Alaska, but they > aren't even native to Northern Europe, are they?) They're extremely good swimmers, though! I don't actually know if they are native to areas outside North America, although I'd expect that they'd be in the northern part of the former USSR, at least. SignatureCheryl Cheryl Perkins skrev i meddelandet ... >> "Polar bears"? Now if they asked about reindeer (especially >> in the far northern portion of the country) it might be some [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >-- >Cheryl Oh yes, there are polar bears in northern Europe, but north of the Scandinavian peninsula. Very dangerous animals. http://www.svalbard.net/index.asp?intOpenID=41&action=category&catid=41 Elisabet >Cheryl Perkins skrev i meddelandet ... >>I don't actually know if they are native to areas outside North America, [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >http://www.svalbard.net/index.asp?intOpenID=41&action=category&catid=41 >Elisabet I guess that places like Alaska, Siberia, Greenland, and northern Europe aren't all that far apart from the point of view of the arctic. >Cheryl Perkins skrev i meddelandet ... >> [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] >http://www.svalbard.net/index.asp?intOpenID=41&action=category&catid=41 >Elisabet But so beautiful. I am absolutely enchanted by polar bears-- not enoguh to get near one. But I think they are amazing creatures-- so huge, so white, so graceful in their movements. We have a group of polar bears in the Central Park zoo, who are incredibly pampered. ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War >> "Polar bears"? Now if they asked about reindeer (especially >> in the far northern portion of the country) it might be some [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > America, although I'd expect that they'd be in the northern part of > the former USSR, at least. Polar bears only live north of the tree line. So anywhere with trees won't have polar bears. They come as far south as Churchill, Manitoba but that's because for some reason the tree line dips down south in that area. -- Britta "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album >> And, just to make sure you get the point: There are no polar bears walking >> around in the streets (or anywhere else) in Norway. Lots of questions are >> asked about that, too... I grew up in New York. STATE, not the city. A lot of people who haven't been there don't realize that there is a whole state attached to that city. I can't believe how many people would ask me about living in New York and how I dealt with drug dealers and muggers. Uh....I dealt a lot with stray cows in the yard and walking down the road to get fresh milk and eggs. Yeah, we grew up in deep country. My home town had maybe 4,000 people in it. Yes, in New-York-the-State-not-the-city. lol Jane - owned and operated by Princess Rita >>> And, just to make sure you get the point: There are no polar bears walking >>> around in the streets (or anywhere else) in Norway. Lots of questions are [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >lol And they hate us, too. ;) Of course, those same people don't realize that New York City is not just Manhattan, even when they come to live here. ;) Theresa (in Brooklyn, NYC) Theresa in Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War >>>> And, just to make sure you get the point: There are no polar bears >>>> walking around in the streets (or anywhere else) in Norway. Lots [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Theresa (in Brooklyn, NYC) Brooklyn, Yonkers, Manhattan, Harlem, da Bronx... heheh... den youse cross da bridge to New Jersey :) Jill >WARNING: contains content some might consider "racist" > [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > >Jill Happens all the time. Why, Jill, working one's mouth without engaging the mind is the most human of traits. Not excusing them, of course-- I'd be as agonized as you to witness such a thing. Glad that you were there to show those folks that not all us Merkins are pig-ignernt. ;) Or have such lousy manners. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Make Levees, Not War >>WARNING: contains content some might consider "racist" >> [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] >you were there to show those folks that not all us Merkins are >pig-ignernt. ;) Or have such lousy manners. My family made a trip to Europe when I was twelve, and I remember hearing a fellow American tourist ask a Swiss souvenir-shop clerk, "How much is that in REAL money?". It made me wince; I was having to mentally convert francs to dollars to figure out whether items were overpriced, but, even at age 12, I had better manners than to ask a question like that. I do my best to smile and greet security people, janitors, checkout clerks, and the like, and sometimes chat with those I meet on a regular basis. I have worked such jobs myself when I was younger, and know how frustrating it becomes when people treat you as just part of the scenery. SignatureJohn F. Eldredge -- john@jfeldredge.com PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu "Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria > I hate when people display ignorance in public. The folks who own the > store [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Jill Such ignorance is, alas, found all over the place, not just where you are, and by many a nationality. Cheers, helen s > He laughed and said he > bought the clothes in Africa. She said, "Huh? They have clothes like that? > I didn't think they wore clothes in Africa; I thought they was all nekkid. > Or they wore leaves and stuff." He smiled at her indulgently. YIKES! WHat a moron. Unfortunately, she's not alone, by a long shot. Joyce I met a very sweet lady in Atlanta when I was visiting a friend there, who told me that she'd love to come to England but (a) she didn't like having vaccinations and (b) thought it must be a pain not to be able to drink the tap water! Mind you they thought I was a freak cos I don't drive, and I liked to take the 15 minute walk to the mall (which was a real eye-opener to me, you don't get to see people in London saying grace before they eat McDonalds), and there was no pavement so I had to basically walk on the very busy road (a 6 laner), and then under a garden sprayer, it was that or walk in the middle of the road, so I got soaked. I think they must have thought I was a complete nutter, I didn't realise there was no pavements before I set out! And then again I walked into a bar in Oakland, totally lost, and asked someone to call a cab for me, the people in the posh part of Oakland that I was working for totally freaked when I told them, they said it wasn't safe and was "Crack Central" - but they were so nice to me in there, perhaps it was my accent but I didn't feel threatened, but then I was living near Brixton at the time so maybe that's why. > WARNING: contains content some might consider "racist" > [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > Jill > that or walk in the middle of the road, so I got soaked. I think they > must have thought I was a complete nutter, I didn't realise there was > no pavements before I set out! Most american cities are designed for car drivers, not pedestrians. Very few streets here in Austin (outside of downtown) have sidewalks. SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com ave had this problem all my life but it is *always* worse during the holidays People who are ignorant often have no mind about announcing it to the world. I doubt if she got hig marks from any one in the line.... Was she stolen ? Did you steal her?? If she wants to leave and go back , more power to her. she is probably one who wants reperations.... money fomr some who has done nothing wrong, to some one who has had nothing done to her... Holiday time all the nuts are out and very vocal. Rosie |
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