Bad day at work

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
have a bad day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is
an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station
103.2FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest.  Needless to say, she won!

Hi Sue
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea.

I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of the year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20 000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch.

So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and
pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,
the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was
not  as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my but. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear
due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put
the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
was swollen shut.

So the next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"
[snagged by]
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...