I think a lot of us are in the same situation. I know I am. I'm sorry about
it as well.

Unless you're in *my* local group, which is ruled by an obsessive-compulsive
control freak. She would delete your message because "it's not one of
the four approved Subject line tags" for postings, and then send you a
saccharine message just brimming with polite hostility, explaining why.

I actually have a history with this woman, because I volunteered to help
moderate my local freecycle list. She and I worked together on it, being
co-moderators. Our job was to read all the posts on the "moderated" list
(which is where all posts from newbies go, until it's clear the person
means well and knows the rules), and approve the posts if they were OK,
or deny them and let the poster know why.

My co-moderator's insane pickiness about correct formats and other
bullsh*t drove me crazy. I tried to ignore it, and always approved posts
that were decent and didn't violate any important rules (like asking for
money or offering inappropriate things, etc). She would often send me
emails demanding, "Why did you approve that post? You know we don't allow
'SPOKEN FOR' in the subject line!" I finally had to tell her that my
style of list management was to be liberal and forgiving, and unless
someone is rude, obscene, tries to buy or sell something, offers something
that's not allowed, or if their post is poorly written and it's not clear
what they want, then I approve them. Life's too short to get bent out of
shape about stupid little things. Apparently for her, though, making and
enforcing rules, no matter how trivial, is her main joy in life. I'm
sure she was a hall monitor in grade school. :)

The last straw, for me, was when someone posted the following: "This is
for the man who received my scooter lift. I found the manuals, but I
no longer have your email address. Please email me so we can arrange to
get you the manuals." And my crazy co-moderator *deleted* it, because,
you guessed it, it wasn't in one of the four correct formats! I said
to her, "But he probably *needs* those manuals." Her reply, "Then he
can buy new ones, and she can recycle hers." Hello? What is freecycle
supposed to be for?? It's there so you *don't* buy new ones - you keep
the old ones out of landfills (or recycle centers, which may be better
than landfills, but still produce waste).

Eventually I quit the moderating position - actually, she asked me to
quit, saying, "You think you can make your own rules." That kind of
craziness wasn't worth it to me. I'm still on the list, and every once
in a while, she deletes one of my posts because of some stupid infraction,
and sends me one of her passive-aggressive emails about it, and I know
I've made her day.

Whew! That was quite a rant! Felt good, actually. I just had to get that
off my chest. This happened about 5 months ago, and I guess I'm still a
little p*ssed off about it.

Most freecycle lists don't have maniacs running them, though, I don't
think!

Joyce

I always feel much more comfortable at friends' houses that look a at
least a LITTLE lived-in. I have one friend who's a neat freak (I
understand this. She never had children, has no house pets, and also
has a hired cleaning lady). Her house looks like it ought to be in a
glossy magazine. By contrast, my sister works long hours, has four
grandkids next door coming in & out, two dogs, and her house is always
clean enough to be sanitary, but cluttered for sure. I like going to
her house better :-)
Mine is always clean, but that's just because I don't work anymore. It
sure didn't used to be.

Sherry

I always used to say to my mum (Who always said that) "First of all, if
I'm in a bad enough accident to be taken to hospital I have more on my
mind than my underwear and secondly it does not say anything in the
Hippocratic oath about not treating people with grey undies, okay?"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs