I should be working on a translation of a screenplay this weekend, but
Frank insisted I act as his secretary again, so here is the next
instalment of his memoirs. He is on a roll. We'll see if I can meet the
deadline for my job. ;o) My *paying* job. <nudge nudge, Frank>

________________________________

Every day, my hoomin would leave me alone for the whole day. On what she
calls weekends, we would often go on trips to the countryside, where I
was allowed in the Out. We went on those trips with the hoomin's
friends, who soon learned to speak of us as Marinanfrank, like we were
one entity. This was OK with me, as long as I could be the brains in the
outfit. I soon learned to manipulate the hoomin so she would obey my
every whim, and life was sweet.

Then one day, we went to my Favourite Place in the Whole World: the
hoomin's own island (it's *my* island now). I met a couple of cats
there. They lived with my hoomin's sister, and my hoomin said they were
my father and my sister, but I don't quite believe her. My 'dad' was
mean to me and didn't want me to come close to him or his hoomin. He
said that I was trying to steal his hoomin away from him, but I never!
Why would I want her when I had my own, very well-trained one? And my
'sister'? This wasn't the cute little girl I had played with when I was
a kitten at my mum's. This was almost a grown-up and very grumpy
ladycat, who couldn't stand the sight of me. My own sister would never
have treated me the way she treated me. My 'dad' was an all-black cat
with a little white locket on his chest, and my 'sister' was a
greenish-brown and black tortie (hoomin note: yes, there was a definite
greenish tint to her).

That summer was one of the best times of my life. There were those two
grumpy cats, but the island was big, there were hardly any other people
there, and my hoomin's family all showed me the respect due to a cat. I
explored large parts of the island, and when I got home, Meowmie would
sometimes say she had neem worried because I was gone for so long, but I
did always come home for the night, and I made sure I played with my
hoomin every day to keep her happy. Mornings and evening were the most
exciting outside, but I was happy to cuddle with my hoomin during the
night, because when it was dark, the Out did turn a bit scary.

But it seems that all good things must come to an end. We went back to
town and the little poky place where my hoomin and I lived during the
winters. She started staying away all day again, and I got thoroughly
bored. I even became a little depressed, and I would sit for long
stretches of time and just stare in front of me with an empty look on my
face.

My hoomin was worried about me, but she said she had to work, and she
also had a social life. Now, why she would need any other friends than
me is beyond my comprehension. How could she choose her hoomin friends
over me? (As an aside, I'm happy to report that she has eventually come
to realise this, and only rarely goes out to meet other hoomins these
days. On the rare occasions when she makes herself ready to go out in
the evenings, I circle her and try to remind her that she doesn't *need*
other hoomins as long as she's got me and Nikki. One day I will have her
completely convinced of this, I am sure.)

Well, my hoomin thought of a solution, of sorts, to the problem. One day
when I was home feeling bored, she went away, taking a basket with her,
and returned a few hours later. I was happy to see her, of course. Maybe
she'd brought me some nice treat in the basket? Carefully, she opened
the lid and... out jumped a little black puffy hairball, that came
charging at me. I then realised that it was a kitten, and that she was
bouncing sideways towards me, trying to look very dangerous and hissing
at me! Well, I was so surprised, I could only sit and stare, and just
step a little out of the way when she came too near. Those claws were
still small, but sharp!

Then Meowmie carried her to my litter box, where she took a sniff, and
then came back charging at me. Wherever I went, she would follow and try
to attack me. This got very old very fast, so I said to Meowmie that she
 had succeeded in amusing me, but she could take back the kitten where
it came from now. For once, the hoomin didn't obey me.

The kitten went and used my litter box. The hoomin made a great fuss
over her and said she was such a clever girl. Hmph. I had used the
litter box every day since I had arrived at her place, but she never
praised me. What was the big deal? You need to go, you go to the litter
box and do what you have to do. It's a no-brainer. But the hoomin acted
as if the kitten was the world's eighth wonder for doing this. Meowmie
said that was because the kitten had come from a stables, where there
were no litter boxes, and also the kitten's mother had taken care of
that stuff until now.

In the evening, I was exhausted with the kitten (whom my hoomin called
Nikki), and was very happy to see my hoomin get into bed. Finally some
peace and quiet, as I was sure the kitten would not be able to get into
the bed. Well, I was wrong. When she saw us settle down, she scrambled
up, too. She went over to Meowmie's head and licked her neck and
shoulder. Then she came over to me. I was apprehensive. Would she start
attacking me again? I was so tired, I hadn't even chased the bed mice,
but they were behaving quite well. Nikki came over and licked me! I
thought, OK, we'll see where this leads. I remembered how I'd missed my
mum on my first night with this hoomin, and stretched out a bit to let
the little one cuddle up to me. She started to lick my tummy. She
started purring very loud, and I couldn't help myself, I had to start
purring along.

Then she found a teat on my tummy. I know we boycats can't produce milk,
but she didn't. She started sucking happily, and after glancing at my
hoomin to see if this was OK, and I saw she was smiling very
happy-looking, I let Nikki suck on me for a while. Then we both fell
asleep, and the hoomin, too. This was how Nikki entered my life.