<snipped wonderful story>

VERY good Pam!

Hugs,

CatNipped

Here is Samuel R Kitten's story. With a little luck, Amelia's will
follow later today.

A Tale of Three Greeblings
Samuel Redcat Mahoney

When my humans adopted me, rescuing me from a life on the streets, they
told me all about the wonderful things they had to offer: a nice, warm
place to sleep, plenty of good food and clean water, lots of great kitty
toys, all the love I could handle, and protection from external enemies.
It sounded wonderful then, and it still does now. What they didn't
mention were the dangers I would be facing - grevious dangers! I've
since learned that this nondisclosure on their part was not motivated by
an attempt to deceive me, they are simply unaware of these dangers. You
see, humans are quite unable to see, hear, smell, or otherwise sense the
presence of greeblings.

For those who don't know, greeblings are nasty, vile little creatures
with sharp teeth, wicked claws, keen eyes, and a malice that knows no
bounds. They hide from humans but often seem not to fear their only
natural predator, cats.  Greeblings delight in causing mischief and
damage, from simple stunts like dumping over garbage cans to attempting
to set fire to houses. They often steal food, even raiding closed
refrigerators and locked cabinets. When humans are unable to find a
treasured possession, something that they have seen or held just
recently, it is usually due to greeblings spiriting that possession away.

In our household we see primarily two varieties of greebling. We see a
lot of brown-spotted carpet greeblings, and vast numbers of green-scaled
lawn greeblings. A few examples of other species show up occasionaly,
but they are relatively rare.

This morning is a good example of the dangers I and my feline family
members face. I awoke around 4:00 AM like usual, and made a quick patrol
of the house to see if anything was happening. Prowling through the dark
living room I heard a soft, furtive rustle from behind the oak cabinet.
Approaching stealthily and with my senses fully directed toward the
region the noises were coming from I was all prepared to pounce on the
greebling I suspected was hiding there. I was completely unprepared for
what came next - a cowardly attack from above and behind! As I drew
close to the cabinet a greebling that had been hiding on top out of my
line of sight shoved a heavy glass candle holder off the edge, barely
missing my head! At the same moment a third viscious beast jumped from
hiding under the coffee table and attacked my hind feet and tail with
his teeth. Hearing the noise of the candle holder sliding off the edge
above me, I was able to dodge to the side just before the candle holder
would have beaned me. At the same time I was able to tuck my head in,
roll into a circle, and grab the third greebling in my teeth,
dispatching him after a brief battle. As soon as I finished off the
third greebling I heard sounds of battle coming from the bathroom.
Dashing over there I saw my tiny sister Fluffybutt in mortal combat with
an entire herd of rare slime greeblings that had snuck out of the shower
drain. She was fighting a noble fight, but a small kitten can hold off
only so many greeblings at once. I immediately joined the battle, and
between the two of us we finished off over a dozen of the beasts and
drove the rest back down the shower drain. Fluffybutt and I tended to
each other's wounds, knowing that letting our humans see our injuries
would only complicate things.

About this time our meowmie was getting out of bed to prepare for work.
She always opens the back door to let us kitties out, as we all really
love our outdoor time. Our two older sisters, Cleocatra and Ameliagrump,
also finally got out of bed and joined us. All four of us went outside,
enjoying the fresh air, the buggie hunting, and the big outdoor litter
box. Once the neccessities of personal hygiene were tended to, we began
our regular group patrol of the yard.

We have a regular routine in the yard. Tabitha and Amelia lead off, and
head straight to the far left and far right corners of the yard. I come
next, running straight for the center of the yard. Cleocatra follows,
heading along the base of the wall checking for beasties hiding in the
high grass.  You see, we have to be extra alert outside because of Grizzlxx.

The green-scaled lawn greeblings live underground, coming above-ground
just long enough to wreak havoc then returning to their dark, dank
holes. They are led by a very old, grizzled greebling who's name is
something like Grizzlxx (it's hard to render it accurately, since kitty
mouths aren't built to pronounce greebling). When it's time for them to
launch a raid, Old G sends up a small scout party to check out the
locations of the enemy (us kitties), then when he gets the report from
the scouts he sends up his large invasion force. He himself hides in the
shadows, right outside the chain link fence we can't cross. When it
looks like his forces are about to be wiped out he dashes back down his
hole to keep himself safe. Unfortunately he remembers the tactics we
use, and trains the next generation of greebling warriors what to expect
from us and how to counter our moves. We have known for along time that
we need to get rid of Old G, but haven't been able to do anything about
him since he always hides. But this morning Cleocatra had an idea - a
brilliant idea!

This morning both Ameliagrump and Tabitha Fluffybutt made a dash
straight for the greebling-hold that Old G hides in, and made loud
hissy-pounces at the hole. Amelia even reached her long paws through the
fence as if she was trying to catch Old G. But the two girlcats were
just creating a distraction. While they were scaring the greeblings,
Cleocatra ran silently up beind them, made a perfect leap all the way to
the top of the fence, and hid herself on top of the wooden fence behind
the chain link fence. You see, Cleocatra is the only kitty small enough
and strong enough to leap all the way up without touching the Sting
Wire. All the rest of us have to climb the fence, and when we touch the
Sting Wire it bites us and makes us drop back to the ground.

Anyway, we all resumed our usual yard patrols. Since Cleo is small and
grey and stealthy, it's almost impossible to see her when she stalks the
base of the wall. So the greeblings didn't notice that one of the
kitties was missing. We saw the greeblings scout come out, but we
ignored them and pretended we didn't see them. A couple minutes later we
saw the rest of the invasion force coming out - but still we ignored
them. When the attack-greeblings were almost upon us we turned,
recognized, and gave battle. However, we held back on our battle - we
fought only half-heartedly. We let the greeblings think that they were
gaining ground. That caused Old G to get all excited, and he came a
little ays out of his hole to shout directions to his troops. Us three
kitties then fell back a little further, and this got Old G even more
excited. We finally allowed ourselves to get backed into a corner of the
yard. This got Old G so excited he was beside himself! He was almost
dancing in glee. He finally forgot his caution and came a few inches
into the yard to get a better view.

That was all Cleocatra needed. Before he even knew what hit him, all of
Cleocatra's 6 pounds landed on top of Old G, claws first. Cleocatra
finished him off before he got off a squeak. Cleo yowled at us, and we
took that as our signal to REALLY fight greeblings. We were so irritated
at the little monsters by this time that polishing off the rest of the
troops was a pleasure. We laid waste to the entire troop of beasties in
less than a minute. Cleocatra kicked a few pieces of Old G's remains
back into the greebling hole, so that those below would know that their
venerated leader and victorious general was no longer.

That marked the end of our morning yard greebling battles, for at least
a while. It is truly wonderful to be able to go out into the yard, roll
around in the grass, and hunt flutterbys. all without having to worry
about those nasty monsters. Now if we can figure out how to get rid of
the leader of the brown-spotted carpet greeblings....

Behind him, the cat in the window blinked.

I love it!  Thank you Pam!!

Jill

(snip)

Wow, Pam.  That was great.
Annie

A day in the life of Tabitha Mahoney
By Tabitha Mahoney with Nancy C. “MeowMie” Mahoney on the keyboard

Sept. 1, 2004
Copyrighted

Like so many human writers do, I’ll start with the “thanks to” portion
of this document. Thanks to MeowMie – she said she’d help with this and
 is doing that, albeit after the deadline. She’s an editor for her
J.O.B., so you’d think she’d be better at this deadline stuff. Thanks to
PawPaw and MeowMie for giving me a home, even if it does have three
other cats, it’s still better odds (four cats, 2 humans) than where I
was before with about a dozen cats (I couldn’t count then, so I’m not
sure) and about four humans.

And please note: I’ll answer to Tabitha, Fluffitha, MicroCat, TinyTiny
Cat and especially to the sound of food going in a dish or water going
in a water bowl. But I do not like “Fluffy Butt” as a nickname. I have
beautiful, long, soft fur that is especially fluffy in some areas, but
“Fluffy Butt” is hardly a nice thing to call a sweet, innocent, quiet,
demure, peace-loving kitty such as me.

OK, here’s goes how my day usually goes.

When PawPaw’s out on the road in the big red truck, there’s more room
for kitties on the bed. I’m not a bed kitty, but I play with MeowMie’s
slippers so that when the alarm goes off about 4:15 a.m., she has to
trip over me to get to them. She likes playing that game, so I do it
most days.

Then Amelia and I rush into the hallway – right in the middle between
the bedroom doorway and the bathroom doorway – so we can start our
morning wrestle-cat-ia (humans do wrestle-MAN-ia, you know). This gives
MeowMie even more fun as she tries to open her eyes, find her way to the
bathroom (with or without her glasses, doesn’t seem to make much
difference at this time of day) and not step on us.

So we move – fast! Right to the food dishes in the bathroom so MeowMie
will be sure to notice if there’s enough food in the dishes.

This is about when Sammy, aka, Samuel Redcat Mahoney, my little brofur,
arrives. MeowMie’s feet really get tangled up now with three of us
playing the game with here!

Sometimes Cleo, aka, Cleopatra, Empress of all She Surveys, will step
down from her night throne (about three-quarters of the human bed), and
glide into the bathroom to see what the commotion is about. She may
growl at one or all of us and glide back out, usually to head for the
non-fountain, regular water bowl.

Then it’s time to wait.

Usually it’s just me and/or Amelia, although sometimes Sammy waits with
us. We’re waiting for MeowMie to turn off the shower water and put a
towel around her shoulders so one of us (Me! Me!) can get a ride, a head
butt and maybe straighten up MeowMie’s hair. This last bit is sooooo
very much harder than grooming PawPaw – MeowMie’s hair is long and it
covers all of her head!

Sometimes I’ll stay on her shoulders while she brushes her teeth,
sometimes not. It depends. I’m a cat, you know. I don’t have to explain it.

Other times, I’ll stay while she puts on some makeup – not much because
MeowMie doesn’t like to “goop up her face,” as she says it. PawPaw says
all us girls are so pretty none of us need makeup (and that Sammy is
handsome and doesn’t need any, either).

When I’ve made sure all this work is under control, I’ll jump down,
usually onto the sink counter, which MeowMie usually has cleared off to
make a good landing spot.

Some days I let Amelia do the shouldering, while on still others, Amelia
and I have other matters to address: Wrestle-cat-ia, greeblings (usually
of the indoor type), Sammy (silly BOY), and Cleo’s growling, for example.

Some of the nastiest morning greeblings are the ones that move MeowMie’s
keys, wallet, belt, Rotary pin (can’t forget that!), or socks. If those
greeblings hit, it can be a job for at least two of us, sometimes three
of us!

These monsters are related to those who hang out in MeowMie’s closet –
often in the skein of yarn in there, or the cowboy boots, or among the
longer dresses. Even closing the closet doors may not keep them all out,
so our work is cut out for us – this is something that needs constant
monitoring during the day.

When MeowMie leaves for work about 5:30 a.m. (if she’s on time), she may
feed the neighbor kitty – just because he’s a pain in the butt and begs
a lot. He does have THREE of his own humans!

But now the work REALLY begins.

For example, each of the bed pillows must be checked for greeblings and
proper fluffiness. And the fans MeowMie leaves running must be inspected
to be sure they are blowing anything loose up into the air to be
captured and subdued by us kitties.

Then there are the food dishes to monitor and the water bowl and water
fountains to check for content and function – is the water still flowing
or does MeowMie need to be reminded AGAIN to fill the reservoir? Stuff
like that.

Many humans mistake the reclining, breeze-attracting kitty as a sleeping
kitty. Oh, no! I can tell you from personal experience that it is doing
this time that all the philosophies ever dreamt of by kitties or humans
is conjured, discussed, tossed around like the proverbial ball of yarn,
until it is unraveled and maybe, even, re-knitted into a new
philosophical fabric unique to all the universe.

I budget some time for exercise – wrestle-cat-ia with Amelia, the
Cleo-dart (achieved by darting in front of Cleo at one of her deepest,
most philosophical moments and drawing a growl) and chasing Sammy.
Amelia is the one who should do some running, but that’s her thing to
address.

I also work out on the shelves under the bedroom window from which I can
leap to PawPaw’s dresser, climb up to the curtain rod, or jump or climb
atop MeowMie’s cabinet (about six feet tall!). And jumping down from
there is quite a workout – but best done at night when a good on-the-bed
landing or a solid on-the-floor landing can be best appreciated by MeowMie.

When MeowMie comes home, it’s time to go outside! There we can roll in
the dirt, use the dirt for our litter box, chase bugs, chase each other,
or just enjoy the breeze – if there is one – and the different view of
the world.

Every now and then I try to tease a mocking bird. The last time I did
it, it blinked first and flew away. Guess it was too dumb to realize I
was on the other side of the fence and couldn’t get to it easily.

(Speaking of the fence, don’t let your humans “kitty-proof” your fence.
It will mean you MUST stay home, which is often a bummer for we all know
there’s more magic in the world than humans want us to see.)

Soon, MeowMie’s eyes are very tired because she’s been reading a book or
working at the computer and it’s time for her to go to bed.

Again, we all check out the food and water dishes and bowls to be sure
all are in order. Sometimes Cleo helps with this, but more often than
not her post is to remain on guard in the bedroom.

MeowMie very carefully sets things up for the morning, aka, oh dark
hundred, by setting the alarm clock, figuring out what clothes she’ll
were in the morning, taking her nighttime pills, etc.

Most important is how she arranges herself and the pillows and
bedclothes to account for Cleo’s head-butting and snuggling, Amelia’s
kneading and snuggling, and Sammy’s smurgling and ticking. Then the
on-the-floor greebling duties fall to me. I don’t usually get on the
bed, except to jump and dart at Cleo or to go to and from the top of the
tall cabinet.

And, of course, we have the  “normal” kitty toys with which to play –
rabbit-fur fake mousies, wiggly feathers on a stick, rolly balls, etc.
Most fun to play with, however, is the dirty laundry and anything that
moves when the fans or swamp cooler kick up a breeze.

Every now and then we get to go out the front door – on a harness and
leash. I’m not good at that yet. Amelia even got to go to Bakersfield
and back – about a three-hour drive one way, with traffic. I’m hoping to
be able to do that too, and maybe ride with PawPaw in the big red truck.
So far, MeowMie’s the only official passenger allowed, but we’re working
on that. I’d love to meet other road cats!

Occasionally there will be an intruder come into the yard. It is most
often John, the landlord, who is laying new sprinkler pipes and also
mows the grass. Or the neighbor cat may show up, yowling in a most
unseemly way for a human to appear (although there’s no reason to think
one will do so).

On special, very special days, the intruders are not humans, kitties, or
even greeblings – but four- or more-legged critters!

I caught a little mouse once – it was so tiny, not much bigger than my
paw, and I was much tinier then. And once I got a grasshopper – I had to
look that one up in the kitty dictionary to find out what it was! And
there are ants and flies and spiders that seem to always want to come
inside. I don’t understand that – outside is so much more fun.

It’s different when PawPaw’s here – he lets us outside faster and
sometimes comes outside with us while he reads a book, MeowMie doesn’t
like to get bitten by the bugs, so she’s likely to stay inside and read.

And PawPaw buys nice turkey submarine sandwiches – Mmmmmm, I love that
nice, thinly sliced turkey! I also like mango smoothies from Bakers, but
MeowMie doesn’t get them much anymore … too many points on Weight
Watchers, or something like that. Points, smoints! I want smoothies!

PawPaw has a human son, MeowMie has that young man as a stepson, so
we’re the “children” of our little duplex home in Highland, California.

.