(snip)

Now, ya see, if that was my house a few years ago, I would have just
checked my watch to see if the 11:30 was on time. ;)

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com
alt.tv.frasier FAQ: http://www.im-listening.net/FAQ/

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---------------------<snip>----------------------

Ooohhhh!  Those bad kitties! Will they get away with it?  It's hard to
believe that a kitten who's been essentially dipped in batter and
oiled will escape Cap'n Pine Cone's metaphorical frying pan.

Regards and Purrs,
O J

Between their panicked undulations and the force of their landing, the
bin
of sardines was overturned and spilled its contents, and two sorry
looking
kittens, out onto the galley floor.  Eight little paws had barely
touched
the floor before taking off at full speed towards the galley door.
Mischief
and Lacey watched as two white blurs, reeking of sardines, streaked
past
them and out of the galley and down the passageway.  "What on earth
was
that?!" Lacey exclaimed.  "I don't know, but I'm surely going to find
out."
Mischief replied, looking grim.

To be continued...

Meanwhile, Imp turned over in his hammock.  '"I miss my hoomin.  I
miss my bed.  I miss my panic mouse.  I'm homesick."  After tossing
and turning for a few more morments he finally rolled out.  Might as
well do some lurking, that's what I'm good at.

Slowly, the black cat tiptoed past the rest of the sleeping crew.
Cats were curled up, or streeeeeetched out on their backs, with some
having their feet twitching as they dreamed of kitty conquest.  He
passed Mischief's hammock and noticed it was empty.  As he reached the
edge of the sleeping quarters, he cautiously peeked out into the
hallway.
"Hmmmm, looks clear.  It may be a trap though.  There might be
something to keep cats from sneaking out.  Nah, Mischief would have
gotten caught."  Step by step he crept out farther.  After a ways,
something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

"What is that?  It's a crumpled heap of something, but what?  Steady,
steady.........." he sniffed carefully.  Then he walked closer.  Could
it be?  It was a blanket.  A large, fleece blanket that had been
dropped, probably by some hoomin.

"It looks soft.  And according to the Kitty Handbook, it's mine now.
I bet if I drag that back to my bed, I'll be able to sleep."  He
grabbed a corner of the blanket in his mouth and began his trek back
to the sleeping quarters.

He had gone through the doorway when he heard another sound.  He
froze, the blanket still dangling from his mouth.  Something's coming,
he thought.  It sounds......fast, and.........BIG.

Before he could decide what to do next, he saw it .  A long, thin
white streaked flew around the corner and towards Imp.  Cat instinct
took over and Imp lept to the ceiling.  Unfortunately he still had the
blanket in his mouth when he jumped and the blanket spread out.  The
white thing crashed into the blanket, and ripped it from Imp's mouth.
The thing became tangled in the blanket and began running around the
sleeping quarters. Imp clung to a wooden beam in fear, with a torn
corner of the blanket still in his mouth.

Mischief and Lacey came around the corner in time to see a hideous
sight.  A terrifying monster was in the sleeping quarters and
screaming like a banshee.  The noise woke up all the sleeping cats,
who upon seeing this hooded, screaming monstrosity all proceeded to
defy gravity.  The sight of this horrible thing had an immediate
reaction to their fur.  Fur stuck out, ears flew back, eyes bugged
out.   Some jumped out of the way, others screamed.  Some cats tried
to squeeze themselves into their tiny cubbies.  Total pandemonium
ensued as the monster hurled itself around the room, running over cats
and into walls, wailing its horrible wail.  Mischief and Lacey stood
open mouthed watching cats and monster running amok.   Oddly enough,
thought Lacey, this thing smelled strongly of sardines.

Finally amidst all the flying fur, Mischief yelled.  "Somebody catch
that thing!!"  A few cats' hunting instinct kicked in, but no on moved
towards the creature.  "The sardines!!  It stole the sardines!!"
suddenly screamed Lacey.

That got everyone's attention.  What was fear now turned into
determination.  One by one, cats overcame their fears and switched
into stalk mode.  Eyes grew wide, and butts started to wiggle.  The
monster, let out a shriek as it realized it was now the target.  What
was the predator was about to become the prey.

First to pounce was Frank, the mighty hunter.  He lept at the monster,
but at the last second the monster turned and evaded his pounce.
Frank, in his determination to kill, turned his head to follow the
creature.  But his flying body continued on its way and Frank turned
back in time to see the shocked face of  a tabby  before he crashed.

Selena and Mischief both pounced, but both did not know the other was
pouncing.  They were on opposite sides of the monster when they jumped
and as the monster ducked out of the way, Mischief got a close look at
Selena's face before they collided.

Lacey took off after the creature.  "Try and get it cornered!!"  Other
cats attempted to pounce and chase after the monster, but everytime a
cat got close, the monster evaded capture.  Even Nikki, the vole
killer was unable to get her claws in.  Finally after much chasing,
the monster stopped.  All the cats froze and prepared to strike.
Mischief shook her head to clear it, and noticed the monster was
slowly backing towards the door.

"Steady!!" She cried.  "Don't let it escape!"  Time froze as all
feline eyes were centered on the intruder.  Butts started to wiggle
and tails started to twitch.  Mischief braced herself for the pounce
when suddenly she heard a sound.  It was the sound of claws scraping
against wood.  The sound got faster and more frantic. when suddenly it
stopped.

Imp, unable to hold his grip on the wooden beam any longer came
crashing down.  He landed on top of the monster with a loud
KAWHUMP!!!!!!  Both cat and monster fell to the ground in a heap.

For a moment no on moved.  Mischief stared in disbelief as Imp looked
around at everyone.  The torn corner of the blanket was still hanging
out of his mouth, and all his fur was on end.  It was the picture of a
black Halloween cat that had slaughter the beast, only this black cat
had more of a sheepish look on his face.  Everyone's fur started to
calm and claws receded.  Lacey's face broke out into a grin.

"Three cheers for Imp!!"  Cried Lacey.  "He did it!"  Hip
Hip.....Meow!!"  The other cats joined in and Mischief was about to do
the same when a booming voice cut through the air.

"WHAT IN BAST'S NAME IS GOING ON DOWN HERE??!!!!!!"  

Fur poofed and claws came out as everyone defied gravity again.  When
Mischief had landed and steadied herself, she looked up in time to see
Smokey the bosun enter.  Everyone suddenly crouched low when they saw
what was behind him.

Capn Pine Cone looked around the remains of the sleeping quarters.
Hammocks were torn, toys were strewn all over the room, and fur was
still floating in the air.

"Will someone please explain what all the racket was about and why the
sleeping quarters now looks fit enough for a DOG??!!   And does this
have to do with the huge mess I found in the galley?"  Everyone
cringed.  For a moment no one so much as mewed.

Lacey was the first to speak up.  "Um, Capn, Mischief and I heard a
noise coming from the galley.  We went to investigate when it tore
past us and ended up here."

"Aye, Capn."  chimed in Mischief.  "It was moving so fast and it got
entangled in this blanket and was tearing around the room.  None of us
could catch it.  But as you can see, Imp finally caught it."

Imp resisted the urge to curl up into a ball as Cap'n Pine Cone's eye
moved to him.  The monster beneath him was more of a soft lump now,
instead of a wailing beast from hell.  Without a word, he slunk off to
the side and everyone's attention focused on the lump.

The lump moved towards the edge of the blanket.  It split into two
smaller lumps as it reached the edge and stopped.  Cap'n Pine Cone
reached down and threw back the blanket.

The smell of sardines filled the air and everyone looked down at two
small, very frightened kittens.  Both were covered in sardine juice
and some white goopy stuff that made their hair stick togther and
stand on end.

"Identify yourselves."  said Cap'n Pine Cone.  

One of the kitten piped up.  "I-I-I-I'm Tabitha........she made me do
it......."
Cap'n Pine Cone glared at the other kitten.  Sammy gulped and said,  
"I'm...S-S-Sammy.....I didn't mean to.........."

Cap'n Pine Cone started at both kittens for a moment.  "Smokey, get
these kittens cleaned up and bring them to my quarters.  Frank, help
him out.  The rest of you clean up this mess."  He turned and left.
Sammy let out a small mew as Smokey scruffed her and carried her out
of the room.  Frank did the same to Tabitha and soon the sleeping
quarters were quiet again.

Selena let out a loud sigh.  "Well, lets get this cleaned up.  Ozzy,
get your brother out of the cubby hole.  Lacey, you and Mischief will
head back to the galley to clean up there.  Take Kitty Schottland with
you."  She paused a moment and sniffed.

"Does anyone need to use the litterbox now?" she asked dryly.

No one replied to her inquiry.

To be continued......

Kristi

I have to say, I'm immensely enjoying the Voyage of the Mouser series!!!!

Jill (whose cat doesn't like sardines or tuna, go figure)

Part Three:

********************************

Cap'n Pine Cone started at both kittens for a moment.  "Smokey, get
these kittens cleaned up and bring them to my quarters.  Frank, help
him out.  The rest of you clean up this mess."  He turned and left.
Sammy let out a small mew as Smokey scruffed her and carried her out
of the room.  Frank did the same to Tabitha and soon the sleeping
quarters were quiet again.

Selena let out a loud sigh.  "Well, lets get this cleaned up.  Ozzy,
get your brother out of the cubby hole.  Lacey, you and Mischief will
head back to the galley to clean up there.  Take Kitty Schottland with
you."  She paused a moment and sniffed.

"Does anyone need to use the litterbox now?" she asked dryly.

No one replied to her inquiry.
*********************************

I paced the deck in my cabin for a while.  "Those kittens!" I thought.
They reminded me of myself when I was a young one.  I need to give them
something that would be a challenge, work out the wildness, and teach
them a bit of a lesson.  Making them clean the scuppers wasn't going to
work, besides I had Squeakers on that duty.

After thinking of the possibilities, I sent for SPC Huey.  He was young
enough to understand the ways of kittens and dignified enough to satisfy
the elders.  Not only that, he needed to do a final task to properly
earn his sergeant's stripes.

After SPC Huey and I talked for a bit, I had Sammy and Tabitha brought
into his quarters.  The two of them had been forcibly cleaned and looked
it.  That, combined with their awe at the sumptuous quarters enjoyed by
the Cap'n, emphasized their youth and inexperience.  I cleared my throat
before addressing them.

"You two had quite an adventure tonight," I said.  "I suppose you didn't
think of the possible consequences of your actions?"  The kits looked up
at me with wide eyed embarrassment as I went on.  "One of the earliest
and hardest lessons a pirate cat has to learn is that one has to take
responsibility for their behavior.

"I could just give you to the crew for punishment, but that wouldn't be
fair to the crew.  They'd have to take responsibility for you.  So what
you're going to do is use your youth and enthusiasm for the good of the
Mouser."  I saw Sammy gulp and Tabitha scuffle her paws as I kept
talking.  Behind them, Huey was trying to hide a big grin.

"Strange noises have been reported below decks.  You two are going to go
with SPC Huey to check them out.  You are small enough to be able to
crawl into the spaces too little for SPC Huey, and are capable of
sending for help should it be needed.  SPC Huey is in charge and you two
kits will do WHATEVER the Specialist says.  Is that clear?"

I glared down at them with all the authority I could muster behind my
amusement.  After a brief moment the two kits nodded slowly.  I could
see that Sammy was trying to think of ways to get around the situation,
so I decided to stop that before Huey had to.

"If either of you doesn't perform your duties as you should, I'll have
the Elder, Tanada, talk to you.  She tends to use a lot of claw, so I
want you to have a chance to redeem yourself before taking drastic
measures."  Tabitha gulped and Sammy purred in distress.  I was
satisfied that Huey would be able to take them in paw.  I told them to
see the fat wench about traveling rations then be on their way.

After they left, I turned to the curtained off area in the corner of the
room.  "Well, what do you think?  Was I too rough on the kits?" I asked.

My mentor, Smoggleberry, emerged from hiding.  "No," he purred.  "I
think that Huey will give them the adventure of their lives.  They'll
come back as new kits and have an appreciation for the science of being
Cat."

We laughed together then talked for a while about our hoomins before
checking the status on deck and taking another nap.

TO BE CONTINUED......