Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy enters bathroom, sits on stool in front of sink, turns on
lighted, magnified make-up mirror and takes out make-up case.  Mommy
pulls out liquid foundation make-up, takes off top, pours some make-up
into palm of hand, puts down make-up bottle on sink rim, and begins to
apply make-up to face.

Sammy, who is busy biting Bandit's tail, finally realizes that Mommy
is doing something that does not involve her kitten-ness.  Sammy leaps
up and tears into the bathroom, jumps onto the toilet seat, then leaps
to the edge of the sink - knocking over make-up bottle which promptly
starts emptying its $40 worth of contents down the drain.  Sammy jumps
down into sink to investigate this strange liquid.

Mommy frantically start scooping up make-up with fingers and tries to
smush as much as possible back into bottle including as few kitten
hairs as possible.

Sammy jumps back to sink rim, then down to toilet seat, then down to
bathroom floor, leaving little beige-colored footprints in her wake.

Mommy scoops up Sammy and tries to wipe make-up from paws with tissue.
Sammy does not think this is a fun games and wriggles around smearing
make-up on Mommy's suit sleeves.

Mommy dabs at suit sleeves with tissue.

Mommy finally gets most of the make-up off of Sammy's paws, the floor,
the toilet seat, and the sink.

Mommy gently places Sammy on bathroom floor.

Mommy sits back down to continue applying her make-up.  Mommy takes
out eye-liner stick to being applying color to the bottom of her eyes.

Sammy sees the moving end of the eye-liner stick and jumps back up to
the sink rim to swat at the twitching target.  The tip of the prodded
eye-liner stick enters Mommy's left eye.  Mommy jumps backwards, tips
over stool and falls on her posterior while saying very bad words.

Mommy gets back up, wipes tearing eye with tissue and gently places
Sammy on bathroom floor.

Mommy re-adjusts make-up mirror which was skewed by Mommy's flailing
arms while in the process of falling on her posterior.

Sammy jumps back up to sink rim to see what Mommy is playing with.
Sammy sees herself in the magnified mirror and thinks that a much
larger, strange cat is walking towards her.  Sammy becomes startled
and jumps on Mommy for protection.

Mommy removes Sammy's claws from throat and chest and gently places
her on the bathroom floor.

Mommy wipes bleeding throat and chest with tissue.

Mommy removes powder eye-shadow and plucks eye-shadow brush from brush
holder.  As Mommy picks up eye-shadow brush she notices hundreds of
tiny teeth marks along wooden handle, and sighs.

Sammy jumps back up to sink rim to investigate the powder eye-shadow
which smells enticing enough to take a lick.  Mommy doesn't notice
this, dips eye-shadow brush into powder eye-shadow and proceeds to
apply shadow, laced with kitten spit, to left eyelid.

Mommy removes clumpy eye-shadow with tissue and gently places Sammy on
bathroom floor.

Mommy takes out black mascara and begins to apply to lashes.  Sammy
jumps back up to sink rim and sniffs the tube of mascara, applying a
black ring around her nose.  Sammy tries to lick off black ring and
makes gagging motions at the taste of the mascara.

Mommy grabs up Sammy and wipes away mascara with tissue.

Mommy firmly places Sammy on bathroom floor.

Mommy takes out powder blush and plucks blush brush from brush holder.
As Mommy picks up blush brush she notices hundreds of tiny teeth
marks along wooden handle, and sighs.

Sammy jumps back up to sink rim, but this time miscalculates and slips
back down.  Sammy lands on toilet paper holder and digs in her claws
to stop her fall.  Toilet paper proceeds to unroll in a quite
fascinating manner, so Sammy continues to claw at it until she is
surrounded by half a roll of toilet paper.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from toilet paper and firmly places her on
bathroom floor, then shoves excess toilet paper into bathroom waste
basket.

Sammy jumps back up to toilet paper roll and proceeds to unroll the
rest of the toilet paper.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from toilet paper and firmly places her on
bathroom floor, then shoves excess toilet paper into bathroom waste
basket.

Mommy again picks up blush brush, swipes it in the powder blush, and
proceeds to apply blush to cheeks.

Sammy jumps back up to sink rim and swats at shiny blush case sending
it careening across the sink before plunging to tiled bathroom floor
where the cover breaks away from the base and the mirror on the cover
shatters.

Mommy grabs Sammy before she can jump down and cut her tiny paws on
pieces of mirror.  Mommy puts Sammy outside of bathroom and shuts the
door while she cleans up the pieces of broken mirror, in the process a
piece of broken mirror enters the sole of Mommy's right foot.

Sammy howls, horribly heartbroken, outside of bathroom door.  DH yells
from bed, "For gawd's sake let that cat into the bathroom before she
wakes the whole block!"

Mommy dabs away blood from foot with tissue and sighs.  Mommy allows
Sammy back into bathroom once shards of mirror are removed and Sammy
gives Mommy a dirty look for the indignity and hurt of being locked
out of a room which is occupied by Mommy.

Mommy removes loose face powder from make-up case and plucks powder
brush from brush holder.  As Mommy picks up powder brush she notices
hundreds of tiny teeth marks along wooden handle, and sighs.

Sammy decides to forgive Mommy and jumps back up to sink rim.  Sammy
sticks her face into loose face powder and takes a big sniff.  Sammy
sneezes into face powder causing a mini-explosion of powder to fly
into the sink, mirror, and bathroom floor, and getting kitty boogers
into the remaining powder.

Mommy reaches for a tissue to clean up powder, but the tissue box is
empty.  Mommy reaches for some toilet paper to clean up powder, but
the toilet paper roll is empty.  Mommy considers using Sammy as a
handi-wipe, but comes to her senses first.  Mommy gets new box of
tissues from cabinet and new toilet paper roll from under the sink.

Mommy wipes powder from sink, mirror, floor, and Sammy with tissue and
sighs.

Mommy takes out lipstick from make-up case and plucks lipstick brush
from brush holder.  As Mommy picks up lipstick brush she notices
hundreds of tiny teeth marks along wooden handle, and sighs.

Sammy sees bright red object in Mommy's hand and decides to take a
taste.  Sammy takes bite out of end of lipstick and starts making
gagging motions at the taste.  Mommy grabs Sammy and tries to get
lipstick off of spiky little tongue.  Sammy objects to this and bites
down on Mommy's finger – hard!

Mommy very firmly places Sammy on bathroom floor, wipes bloody finger
with tissue, and sighs.

Mommy is finally finished putting on her make-up (she looks a bit like
a clown from all the above adventures, but has no more time to fix it
before having to leave for work).

Mommy removes make-up stained suit, removes blood stained blouse,
removes torn and bloody panty hose.  Mommy tries to put on new panty
hose, but Sammy sees a sinuous beige snake moving around Mommy's
ankles and pounces!

Enough – "Putting on Clothes With Mommy" is a whole ‘nother story!!!