How Could They?!! Fellow Felines, I need to vent!!!

Thread view:

Enable EMail Alerts

Start New Thread

Thread rating:

Pine Cone - 01 May 2004 03:35 GMT

I had a feeling the hoomins were up to something. The fat wench was too
smug and there was a lot of whispering and glancing in my direction. So
I hid under the bed and listened in on one of their discussions. Those
turncoat hoomins are planning on going on vacation instead of on the
pirate voyage with us!!!

They say that they need a vacation!!! They plan on having Simeon stay
and catsit us. As if we need a keeper for anything other than food,
water, and litterbox cleaning. This has made me so mad, I have horked
food all over the hall carpeting. Paw Rob almost stepped in it. The
fat wench didn't even seem to notice that I'd done it. GRRRRRR!

When I confronted the fat wench, she said that this was a rare event,
and one that they couldn't pass up, something that may never happen
again. HA! I know those hoomins. They didn't want us to go on the
voyage and came up with this to keep us ashore.

I say we need to unite. We need to find other hoomins to go with us, or
go with them on their trip across country, or ghost back and forth and
do all that we can to make their trip across the country a memorable one.

I for one would like to visit the Grand Canyon. The fat wench says that
she bets its like a giant litterbox. Could we have fun with that!! She
also said something about the Okanogan forest, Rocky Mountains, plains,
and seeing a mountain called rushmore.

I bet we could take over their vacation and get them to take us to
places we want to go. There's a place called White Sands. I bet it's a
great place to go. There are marinas and fishing places all over where
we can make them catch fish for us. There are trees and good stuff.
Best of all, they are going to say with Grandpaw and Grandmeow. Both of
them are fun, give great treats and treat a cat the way s/he should be
treated. What more could we ask for?

OK, crew, what say ye? Should we try to replace the hoomins? Should we
crash their trip across country? Should we try to do both? Your
opinion matters. We need to come up with a decision.

Disgruntled,

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Reply to this Message

Karen Chuplis - 01 May 2004 04:47 GMT

> I had a feeling the hoomins were up to something. The fat wench was too
> smug and there was a lot of whispering and glancing in my direction. So
[quoted text clipped - 37 lines]
>
> Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Pssst. It's YOUR vacation too. Simeon isn't such a bad hoomin, right? And it
will be FUN. Heh, Heh.

Grant

Reply to this Message

O J - 01 May 2004 07:30 GMT

---------------------<snip>----------------------

>I for one would like to visit the Grand Canyon. The fat wench says that
>she bets its like a giant litterbox. Could we have fun with that!! She
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
>
>Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Cap'n Pine Cone,

This is Misty. I'm channeling through O J, my hoomin for many
years before I went to the Rainbow Bridge. Insist that they take you
along. This cat-sitting thing is an insult to cats everywhere. I
made O J and Lynda take me on their cross-country trip and I loved it.
We traveled through twenty-two states. I got to cause mischief in
places most pussycats only dream of visiting.

There was the time I hid up in the springs of the seat in the
middle of Kansas and Lynda totally freaked out for fear that I had
gotten out of the pickup somehow. Not to mention that I found a way
to get into the wall of a motel in Illinois and they were afraid I'd
be able to get lost back there.

Oh, I had a great time. It's your right travel with the hoomins.
Set an example -- pout and carry on till they agree to give you what
you deserve.

Regards and Purrs,
Misty

Reply to this Message

Tanada - 02 May 2004 03:22 GMT

> Cap'n Pine Cone,
>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> We traveled through twenty-two states. I got to cause mischief in
> places most pussycats only dream of visiting.

That sounds really fun, Misty, but the fat wench says that I don't like
to ride in the van, and that I really need to stay with Simeon. Not
that he's bad, mind you, but it's the thought of the thing. They're
going on an adventure WITHOUT ME. I'm still so mad that I escaped from
the house tonight and hid under the pear tree in the front yard. They
found me and drug me kicking and screaming (PC, you know that isn't
true. Mom) back to the house.

I'm torn. I hate to cancel this years voyage, but willing servants are
hard to find. I could ghost out to the van, then terrorize them from
there, but it will be hard to keep silent. Decisions, decisions....
The fat wench is talking about trying to get them on a farey...

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Reply to this Message

Marina - 02 May 2004 04:24 GMT

> OK, crew, what say ye? Should we try to replace the hoomins? Should we
> crash their trip across country? Should we try to do both? Your
> opinion matters. We need to come up with a decision.

That's too bad, Pine Cone. We have enjoyed the pirate voyages so much. At
least we get to go to our island in the summer anyway. If you want, you are
very welcome to ghost over there and stay with us. As you know, there is
good hunting, warm smooth cliffs to roll around on, and interesting fishies
to stare at and maybe even catch, if you don't mind getting wet. If you do
mind getting wet, Nikki will be happy to dive in. We could maybe even hijack
one of the boats and go on a mini pirate voyage.

Yours,
Frank and Nikki

Reply to this Message

Denise VanDyke - 03 May 2004 17:18 GMT

Maybe we could reschedule the voyage for after they return?

- Brenna (with typing help from her hoomin Denise)

Reply to this Message

Tanada - 04 May 2004 21:33 GMT

> Maybe we could reschedule the voyage for after they return?
>
> - Brenna (with typing help from her hoomin Denise)

That's a thought. I found out that the hoomins are going to keep a
group journal of their trip. I bet they'll be surprised when they see
my notes on it as well as theirs. I bet that they'll find it really
interesting when I figure out how to get into their food stash. I'm
going to make them pay for every minute of their trip and have fun doing it.

Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Reply to this Message

Tish S - 05 May 2004 05:41 GMT

PC, aren't you the result of their last camping trip? The reason that
they're excluding *you* is because they're going to be finding a
younger sibling for you and they don't want you to express your
opinions about the newcomer until they're home and the newcomer is
firmly established in their hearts. After all, people get cats/owners
from camping, it's a well-known fact! (I just made it sound like a
communicable disease!)

'Sides, who else but you could they trust to look after Simeon
properly!

Tish

> That's a thought. I found out that the hoomins are going to keep a
> group journal of their trip. I bet they'll be surprised when they see
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
> Cap'n Pine Cone esq.

Reply to this Message

Tanada - 05 May 2004 21:19 GMT

> PC, aren't you the result of their last camping trip? The reason that
> they're excluding *you* is because they're going to be finding a
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> 'Sides, who else but you could they trust to look after Simeon
> properly!

I am the ONLY cat that they got from a camping trip. They refused all
others, and found homes for them. Besides, there is enough competition
around here. I have to get in line to bug the blonde wench sometimes.
Of course I jump the line because I rule around here.

Speaking of Simeon, Squeakers is his only owner and keeps lording that
over us. "We have to share the servants, he not only gets our servants,
but has his very own as well." Spoiled little snot. The more I think
about it, the better I like the idea of stowing away in the white metal
monster. I can meet all the other hoomins that way and the other cats
won't. If I can only keep from singing with the motion of the monster.
I have all these great sea chanteys and pirate ditties memorized and
want to practice them....

Cap'n Pine Cone esq. beached

Reply to this Message

Mischief - 04 May 2004 04:21 GMT

> OK, crew, what say ye? Should we try to replace the hoomins? Should we
> crash their trip across country? Should we try to do both? Your
> opinion matters. We need to come up with a decision.

I agree! It's unfair that the hoomins should leave without you. How
about going to the bathroom in their suitcase? or better yet, in
their bed.

Or, I know, start yowling and rolling around like you're in pain. The
hoomins will think you are ill and will cancel their trip to take care
of you. But don't overdo it, or you'll end up going to TED.

Imp had a great idea, he just curled up on top of Mama Kristi's
suitcase so she couldn't get at it when she needed to pack. But he
was a wimp and gave up too easily. I would have hissed if the hoomins
tried to remove me.

That's all that I can think of, but I'll ponder some more ideas.

Mischief

Reply to this Message

Tanada - 04 May 2004 21:44 GMT

> I agree! It's unfair that the hoomins should leave without you. How
> about going to the bathroom in their suitcase? or better yet, in
> their bed.

I was going to pee in the blonde wench's room, but she's been locking us
all out of her room. The fat wench has been having a fit if she sees
any of us even thinking about using her carpet.

I did hork on the fat wench's clothes though. Again Paw Rob found it
and not the fat one. She was away at the tuna place earning (she
claims) kibble money for us.

Do you know that the hoomins don't use suitcases when they travel by
white metal monster? They use plastic litter boxes with lids. It's not
fun to pee in a litter box, especially if it does have a lid.

I wanted to let the fat wench know that they were not going on their
trip without me and tried yowling and dancing around her feet this
morning. She seemed to think I wanted into the blonde wench's room, and
let me in. The blonde wench screamed at me to "get out, get out" and
threw me out the door. I think that was rather mean of her.

I'm going to stow away in the white metal monster and go on the trip
with them. I'll let you know what we do. We'll go on the voyage as
soon as we get back from the west. Maybe I'll be able to bring back a
buffalo. I've heard that they taste even better than cows. I bet I can
get one in the monster.

Pine Cone esq. optimistic

Reply to this Message