I just lost a neighbor to senseless violence, and it has me really
upset. This couple next door has been having their troubles for some
time, until finally she ran him off. Her brother was there at the time,
as well as her father. The three of them made it clear to the one of him
that he better leave and not come back "or else."

About a week went by, and I guess the DH had a few with the boys and
decided to go home and pick up his stuff. He'd been afraid to before
because the DW was twice as big as he and three times as mean. He'd also
heard that she had borrowed a shotgun from her daddy for protection. So
he pulled up in the driveway and got his own shotgun off the rifle rack
in his pickup and went stomping up to the front door.

Her brother saw DH going up to the house, called his daddy on the phone,
and ran over to 'help.' Meantime DH and DW are standing there in the
living room screaming at each other; she grabs her daddy's shotgun out
from behind the couch, he raises his shotgun, and they both fired at
once. Twelve-guage, double-barreled shotguns at five paces, and they
were both so drunk neither one of them hit the other.

The brother was not so lucky; he grabbed the doorknob just as these two
shotguns fired at once, and it scared him so bad he ran out into the
street right into wake of his daddy's pickup. And he died of the
slobberin' fits.