I once tweaked a squirrel's tail.  It was head downward in a trash
can at a park, presumably eating someone's lunch leftovers.  All you
could see of the squirrel was a couple of inches of fluffy, moving
tail.  I gave a light tug on the tail, then jumped back.  The
squirrel popped up a second or so later, dashed for the nearest tree,
and then gave me a royal swearing-out.

Pull up a seat, Miss Sammy, and I'll tell you just how it was.
<lighting pipe and settling back in rocking chair>

Yesterday a squirrel came onto *my* patio to drink water out of a
saucer under a plant.  I don't really blame it for that; I drink water
out of that saucer all the time - it always has excellent water, muddy
and stagnant and far superior to what's in my water bowl.  In fact,
that fern ought to thank me - it's probably the healthiest plant on
the place, since I insist that Mom water it a LOT while I'm outside.

Anyway, I was in the kitchen helping mom by making her stop whatever
she was doing and watch me eat.  The back door onto the patio was
propped open, as it always is whenever I go to the Out, so that I can
come in and out all day without ever having to slow down.  The plant
with the saucer is at the far edge of the patio directly in line with
the door, and my food bowl is against the wall a little in front of
the door, so I had a clear view of the varmint.  He hopped onto the
patio and eased around so the fern was between us while he drank, but
his poofy tail stuck out around the side of the plant.

Well.  I hunkered down and wiggled my tailless butt in an extremely
menacing manner.  Then I ran, sneaky and knees bent, until I was just
on this side of the big planter, with the squirrel on the other side.
His foofy tail was still sticking out, and I poked it with my nose.

What mom said happened next, about the squirrel and me *both* going
straight up in the air about four feet, is NOT true.  That squirrel
ran **fast** across the yard, with me right behind it, and ran up to
the top of the swing.  I can't get to the top of the swing, dangit, so
it just sat up there and yelled.  It had the nerve to get on *my*
swing where Dad and I like to hang out being guys.  And the whole time
mom was making that noise she calls "not-laughing."  Sheesh.

Cowardly varmint, it could yell from the top of the swing but it sure
enough ran when it felt the ferocious kittynose poking its tail.

----
Mike

<little black-and-white girlcat wakes up and pokes up head> Shrimpies?? Did
someone say shrimpies??

Meowmie says you shouldn't go to the expense of sending an overseas package,
but I say bring it on! I will bunnykick any mean ole monster to death in no
time, if you wimpy boycats can't do it. If you want something done, ask a
woman.

Hisspit,
Nikki

Your mom is really strange! Everyone knows seafood is good for you!
Purrs,
Soncek