*** Some of my favorite recipes ***
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BEER ROASTED CAT

1 cat cut into roast
1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, like Guinness

Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. Drain water and
then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. Drain and place in crock pot
with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef
bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your
George Foreman Cooker (or it's ilk), you'll have finely cooked feline
in time for supper.

If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 350 degrees
for 2-3 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good.
Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard
greens, and fresh, homemade egg rolls. When planning a full meal just
remember- cat is a course best served hot!  

BOIL-N-BAG CAT WITH RICE

1 medium cat
1 burlap bag
1 small length of twine
1 box Uncle Ben's Instant rice
1 T oregano
1 tsp pepper
1 T onion powder
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup water
2 chicken bullion cubes
1/2 pint heavy cream

Place cat in burlap bag, tie twine around the top to prevent it from
escaping. Heat to boiling large pot of water and place the bag inside.
Use fireplace poker to make sure cat stays completely submersed. Boil
for 10 minutes or until cat floats to the surface. Remove from water
and set aside. Prepare rice as directed. In small saucepan, combine
water, bullion cubes and the remainder of the spices. Simmer for 15
minutes. Remove from heat, fold in cream and let stand for 10 minutes.
On serving platter, top rice with cat slices and spoon on sauce.
Serves five.Serves five.top rice with cat slices and spoon on sauce.
Serves five.  

ECONOMY-FRIED CAT

1 cat, any size
1 small length of copper wire
1 electrical outlet

Go to the fuse box. Turn off the current to the house.
Attach wire to cat's legs. Insert other end of the wire into
electrical socket.
Restore power to the outlets.
Cat is finished when it stops flopping around.
Serve with potato salad.potato salad.  

BAKED CAT WITH OYSTER DRESSING

1 large roasting cat
1/2 cup butter
1 clove minced garlic
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp black pepper
1 8 oz. can oysters
6 slices stale bread (in crumbs)
1/4 cup diced white onions
1/4 cup sliced mushrooms
1/4 cup honey
1 small apple

In saucepan, heat up butter, garlic, pepper and oregano. Fold in bread
crumbs, allowing them to saturate in butter. When all of butter has
been incorporated, add oysters, onions and mushrooms. Simmer for 5
minutes, allowing mixture to reduce. Remove from heat, let stand for
15 minutes, stirring occasionally. In stuffing end of cat, fill up
with oyster dressing mixture. Drizzle honey on top of cat, and stuff
small apple into cat for decoration. Place cat in oven at 300 degrees
for 2 hours, basting every 30 minutes with juices. Great buffet
centerpiece.  

ECONOMY SLICED CAT

1 cat
1 automobile
1 plastic bucket
Start car. Open hood. Place bucket under the radiator. Toss cat into
fan blades. Close hood. After cat is sliced, turn off engine. Remove
bucket from under car. Close hood. Makes 14 1" slices.