I think it's okay.  I don't want to mourn the living, at least not
before I know for sure what we're dealing with.  Right now, Betty is
happy and healthy, and in her mind, I'm sure, nothing is amiss.

Still, I've had to numb my spirit a bit.  Before, Betty was like
sunshine to me.  Now, I see Betty through dark clouds of concern.
Before, we were carefree, and we would hug and dance.  Now, I handle
her carefully, clinically - she's become a patient.

I had a dream where she could no longer work her jaw or eat, and I
ordered her death by lethal injection.  As cold as a Roman emperor
giving a thumbs-down.

I feel like warning Betty to stay away from me.  I'm no longer the
daddy she knew, the one she trusts and loves.  I'll spirit her off.
I'll chop off her jaw.  I'll have her put to sleep.  She can't imagine
the terrible things I could do.

So I numb myself and I hope - that the cancer hasn't spread widely.
If it's spread to her lungs or other organs, there probably isn't much
that can be done.  I hope that surgery and radiation will be enough,
and even if it isn't, we can make the best of whatever time we have
left together - that's all any cat and hoomin can do.

Hey Tak - I'm sorry that I wasn't able to read your full post before until I
googled it just now.  The history was gone on OE when I logged in after our
holiday.

You're not the mean guy here - you're not the one who has made her sick.
You're her companion as she's dealing with this.  Helping her, giving her
love and compassion, and making decisions for her that will help her.  She
is blessed to be partnered with you while she is sick.  She knows that
you're on her side - there's no question of that.  She needs you to be there
for her.

I'm desperately sorry that she's sick, and so young, and that you, such a
devoted slave, are navigating such tough waters with her illness.  The
continued purrs and prayers of rpca'ers will be with you and I hope that
your oncology visit is good.  Please keep us in the loop and take very good
care,

Susan M
Otis and Chester

I know how hard it is, having had both two- and four-legged cancer
victims.  Nevertheless, there have been changes in thinking about human
cancer.  At one point, it was felt the fastest possible radical surgery
was necessary in breast cancer -- if the less accurate frozen section
was even suggestive during surgery, radical mastectomy, or rarely
lumpetomy, was the standard of care.

Now, especially with the routine use of protective low-dosage
chemotherapy after surgery, there are decent studies that show survival
doesn't change with immediate surgery, and that lumpectomy, especially
with chemotherapy, may be equally effective, and far less disfiguring
than radical (Halsted procedure) or modified radical.

Pain control, of course, is essential.  With my Clifford (RB), the
particular drugs that controlled the pain of his bladder cancer also
can, and did, cause it to shrink. We were trying to get him stable
enough for more radical chemotherapy, but the odds weren't with us.

Purrs for Betty. Bone cancer treatment has improved a great deal.  
Osteogenic sarcoma is a bone cancer of humans, especially teenagers and
young adults. There are memoirs from doctors practicing in the 1920s and
1930s who had to give colleagues -- residents -- the bad news, and there
was an informal consensus that in such cases, the treating physician
would provide a prescription for assisted suicide, something not
available to laymen.

Treatment improved with surgical methods, to the point that quick high
amputation began to mean the disease was not a death sentence --
although it did mean such things as mid-thigh amputation for a lower leg
tumor.

Today, it is being treated principally for drugs, requires no surgery,
and there is enough long-term data to say true cure, not just remission,
is possible.

"SuzQ" <suqkrt@no.$pam.aol.com> wrote:

Hi Suz,

There isn't much new to report medically.  She has a consult on
Thursday at NEVOG, the New England Veterinary Oncology Group, in
Waltham.  I complained that a week seemed to be a long wait for a
consult, but they said that until recently, the usual wait was two
weeks.  They're the only oncology center in New England, and they've
attracted all the oncology specialists who used to work at the city
clinics like Angell Memorial, so I don't have much choice but to wait.

Tak
=====================================
That's interesting, I thought the Boston area would be better. I guess all
the medical stuff the area is known for didn't carry over to pets.
Still purring,
Suz&Spicey