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Leigh Bain - 27 Apr 2004 04:02 GMT

(Yes sadly a true cat story ;P - The - I write comedy here in Vegas but I
thought I would share this because it's just too funny and it tends to get
lots of laughs, seeing that some people are having a hard time with their
feline friends I figure we all need a good laugh, even if it's at my expense

:))

Ladies, we don't let our men hear us fart. Doesn't matter how long we've
been married. My parents have been married for 35 years, and my mom has
never let one squeek past my father. Once, I let one by my husband though.
He though it was the cat and put her on a diet. That poor cat was on a diet
for six weeks before I fessed up. (not like she didn't need it tho ;P)

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Gene Royer - 27 Apr 2004 10:57 GMT

> (Yes sadly a true cat story ;P - The - I write comedy here in Vegas but I
> thought I would share this because it's just too funny and it tends to get
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> He though it was the cat and put her on a diet. That poor cat was on a diet
> for six weeks before I fessed up. (not like she didn't need it tho ;P)

Good one.

I have a bobtail gassy cat--appropriately named Bobby. There is no
mistaking her odiferous signature. We put her on acidophilus (and I hope
that's the correct spelling). It corrects the prollem as long as we are
persistent with the treatment. When we let up, she let's out.

--Geno<holding his nose in Houston>Royer

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Mars Project - 27 Apr 2004 16:58 GMT

> > (Yes sadly a true cat story ;P - The - I write comedy here in Vegas but I
> > thought I would share this because it's just too funny and it tends to get
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> --Geno<holding his nose in Houston>Royer

I put acid on my gassy farting cats too. It works very well and
desolves the cats *into* gas. I bet the stinky little 4-leggers don't
pass wind in my direction again.

Mars

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Gene Royer - 27 Apr 2004 17:31 GMT

> > > (Yes sadly a true cat story ;P - The - I write comedy here in Vegas but I
> > > thought I would share this because it's just too funny and it tends to get
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
>
> Mars

I appreciate your humo(u)r, Mars; but it is lost on this bunch. One woman
is still pissing and moaning about losing her cat five years ago. Lordy.

--Geno<leaving in a snit but returning in a huff>Royer

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Mars Project - 27 Apr 2004 22:55 GMT

> > "Gene Royer" <Siregeno@Mindset.net> wrote in message
> news:<108sbfjs9tiaaa5@corp.supernews.com>...
[quoted text clipped - 38 lines]
>
> --Geno<leaving in a snit but returning in a huff>Royer

Thanks Geno, That woman pissing and moaning about her cat is actually
a man..... <ROTFLMFAO!!>

Mars

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Gene Royer - 27 Apr 2004 23:14 GMT

> > > "Gene Royer" <Siregeno@Mindset.net> wrote in message
> > news:<108sbfjs9tiaaa5@corp.supernews.com>...
[quoted text clipped - 43 lines]
>
> Mars

Whoop!
Are you tellin' me that Gee is some old queen? What a hoot!

Well, it takes all kinds, don't it. What about scumbag. Man or pseudo?

--Geno<who never can get it right>Royer

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Gene Royer - 27 Apr 2004 23:35 GMT

> Thanks Geno, That woman pissing and moaning about her cat is actually
> a man..... <ROTFLMFAO!!>
>
> Mars

You know it's so funny. I love cats. I really do. I like to mess with
them, and I enjoy their company. The only reason I let them dominate my
life is because I can afford to. I have the money and the lifestyle to
spare both time and talent.

But some people put cats above God and country. They even put cats above
humanity. Not me. The Good Book tells me that *man* is the dominant
creature on earth and the object of the Creator's compassion. We humans are
the apple of God's eye. Cat's are a disposable feature of the planet. Just
like the chickens we eat and the barleycorn we distill for our adult
beverages.

I don't know how it is on Mars where you're from, but when man's time on
this planet is finished and his Earth lease is up, cats will disappear like
a vapor of flame. Those who mistakenly believe that they will have the
company of their furry friends in the hereafter will be disappointed. Some
of them will even want to stay behind for that reason. Let 'em. Heck,
Heaven might not be so crowded then.

It's like the old joke says about the hereafter. If you're not here after
what I'm here after, then you're gonna be her after I'm gone.

--Geno

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Mars Project - 28 Apr 2004 15:16 GMT

> > Thanks Geno, That woman pissing and moaning about her cat is actually
> > a man..... <ROTFLMFAO!!>
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> life is because I can afford to. I have the money and the lifestyle to
> spare both time and talent.

Cool Geno! You have money, time, talent and like to "mess with cats"
Wanna star in one of my low-budget cat films?

> But some people put cats above God and country. They even put cats above
> humanity. Not me. The Good Book tells me that *man* is the dominant
> creature on earth and the object of the Creator's compassion. We humans are
> the apple of God's eye. Cat's are a disposable feature of the planet. Just
> like the chickens we eat and the barleycorn we distill for our adult
> beverages.

Right on! Lets have a few *adult beverages* and make a new cat movie
starring you as a reverend, who secretly mutilates cats....sound like
fun?

> I don't know how it is on Mars where you're from...

Wonder no more Geno, "how it is" It is very cold here. "where it is" I
live 916 miles north-north-east of that huge red rock that looks like
a face, (looking from the earth anyways), but from here on Mars it
looks like a big red rock covered in dust.

>, but when man's time on
> this planet is finished and his Earth lease is up, cats will disappear like
> a vapor of flame. Those who mistakenly believe that they will have the
> company of their furry friends in the hereafter will be disappointed. Some
> of them will even want to stay behind for that reason. Let 'em. Heck,
> Heaven might not be so crowded then.

Totally agree Geno! I would like to *see* some scripture that says
animals go to heaven. My guess is some people have watched "All Dogs
Go To Heaven" too many times. Animals just *die* they don't go to
heaven or hell as far as I am concerned.

> It's like the old joke says about the hereafter. If you're not here after
> what I'm here after, then you're gonna be her after I'm gone.
>
> --Geno

What are you here after Geno?

Mars

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wester@laway.net - 27 Apr 2004 13:49 GMT

>(Yes sadly a true cat story ;P - The - I write comedy here in Vegas but I
>thought I would share this because it's just too funny and it tends to get
>lots of laughs, seeing that some people are having a hard time with their
>feline friends I figure we all need a good laugh, even if it's at my expense
>:))

If you write material for comics in Vegas, perhaps you should look
into a different line of work. Too funny? Nope. Not even close.

>Ladies, we don't let our men hear us fart. Doesn't matter how long we've
>been married. My parents have been married for 35 years, and my mom has
>never let one squeek past my father. Once, I let one by my husband though.
>He though it was the cat and put her on a diet. That poor cat was on a diet
>for six weeks before I fessed up. (not like she didn't need it tho ;P)

Reply to this Message